Fears of a second civil war grow among democrat & republican pundits

[JustinCharge 2,397]

2 minutes ago, Utilit99 said:

Seriously. Those focktards blocking highways, throwing rocks at cars, pulling people out of cars, raiding and looting stores across the country, tearing down federal monuments, spending 4 years harrassing Trump and coming up with nothing costing tax payers millions, throwing flame bombs at police and their vehicles, blocking speakers they don't like from universities, keeping covid relief at bay because they hate, adding billions to their relief proposal for things like relief for other people in other countries as well as libraries, museums, illegals, etc, anything other than a few bucks for the actual American citizens. 

It goes on and you focking idiot. And we live in a republic.

 

I'm glad BLM allowed us to vote on these actions before they did them.  Democracy and all.

[Fnord 2,289]

13 minutes ago, Hardcore troubadour said:

Didn’t see it. I will completely condemn it if I do. Don’t speak for me. Let’s see it. Be smarter. And a window being broken isn’t destroying property. It’s damaging it.  Still  no good.  But it’s not like they burned the place down, like the liberals and anti-Trumpers did this summer in so many places.  

Well you haven't seen me defend those that were rioting this summer, either. The truly peaceful protestors have my full support. The violent arsonist vandals can go screw.

[Fnord 2,289]

1 minute ago, JustinCharge said:

I'm glad BLM allowed us to vote on these actions before they did them.  Democracy and all.

Holding BLM exclusively responsible for that is ludicrous.  The people doing that sh!t didn't GAF about BLM. They were there to cause trouble and the protests gave them cover for it. If they were there trying to support BLM, then they're even bigger morons than I can imagine.

[Hardcore troubadour 15,492]

6 minutes ago, Fnord said:

Well you haven't seen me defend those that were rioting this summer, either. The truly peaceful protestors have my full support. The violent arsonist vandals can go screw.

Yet you side with the people that won’t condemn the violence they wrought. And the feckless cowards in charge that wouldn’t put a stop to it. Lori Lightfoot is on your side. So is DeBlasio and Wheeler. Your crew. You don’t get to condemn political violence now if you didn’t then. 

[JustinCharge 2,397]

16 minutes ago, Fnord said:

Holding BLM exclusively responsible for that is ludicrous.  The people doing that sh!t didn't GAF about BLM. They were there to cause trouble and the protests gave them cover for it. If they were there trying to support BLM, then they're even bigger morons than I can imagine.

You have no proof of this.  If BLM did not represent the looters and rioters, they could have chased them down and brought them to justice instead of letting them melt back into the crowd.  I thought your side believes silence is violence.  But they didn't do a damn thing about the looting.

[Fnord 2,289]

41 minutes ago, Hardcore troubadour said:

Yet you side with the people that won’t condemn the violence they wrought. And the feckless cowards in charge that wouldn’t put a stop to it. Lori Lightfoot is on your side. So is DeBlasio and Wheeler. Your crew. You don’t get to condemn political violence now if you didn’t then. 

 

26 minutes ago, JustinCharge said:

You have no proof of this.  If BLM did not represent the looters and rioters, they could have chased them down and brought them to justice instead of letting them melt back into the crowd.  I thought your side believes silence is violence.  But they didn't do a damn thing about the looting.

Jesus Christ you Trumpers. Yeah, sure, I speak for and support the actions of everyone on "my side." We are all in complete lockstep.

I DID condemn the violence then, I just didn't do it on this low rent, backwater message board full of bigots (not you two, but there are plenty here; after a couple months I already have a robust ignore list reserved exclusively for racists/bigots). And I'm condemning this too. FWIW I didn't see a single person in the Salem videos lifting a finger to stop the extremist losers trying to break into a government building and assaulting cops. How come? I guess I'll just blame the two of you for not stopping it. And supporting the feckless cowards that perpetrate it and cheer it on. You know, "your crew." Silence is Violence!

GTFOH with this shite. Stop pretending you know anything about me other than the few things I post here, or assuming you know who and what I do and don't support. You could just ask me, not that you give half a damn about the answer. You won't ask, though. It's a lot easier to just demonize and assume than it is to have a discussion.

As an aside, while I think JustinCharge has some super loony ideas and beliefs, I think you're a pretty good poster, and mostly respectful. So thanks for that. HT, notsomuch. Although I will admit that I do really like the Hardcore Troubadour handle. I would consider stealing it for myself on some other sites, but the negative association has prevented me from doing it.

[JustinCharge 2,397]

Just now, Fnord said:

I DID condemn the violence then, I just didn't do it on this low rent, backwater message board full of bigots

That just like the lies CNN tells.  They don't outright lie, they just omit facts that don't support their world view.  Its a form of lying.  If you condemn BLM violence, but spend 99% of your time attacking republicans, that really isn't a condemnation at all.

[tubby_mcgee 701]

3 minutes ago, JustinCharge said:

That just like the lies CNN tells.  They don't outright lie, they just omit facts that don't support their world view.  Its a form of lying.  If you condemn BLM violence, but spend 99% of your time attacking republicans, that really isn't a condemnation at all.

Bingo. 
 

[Hardcore troubadour 15,492]

6 minutes ago, Fnord said:

 

Jesus Christ you Trumpers. Yeah, sure, I speak for and support the actions of everyone on "my side." We are all in complete lockstep.

I DID condemn the violence then, I just didn't do it on this low rent, backwater message board full of bigots (not you two, but there are plenty here; after a couple months I already have a robust ignore list reserved exclusively for racists/bigots). And I'm condemning this too. FWIW I didn't see a single person in the Salem videos lifting a finger to stop the extremist losers trying to break into a government building and assaulting cops. How come? I guess I'll just blame the two of you for not stopping it. And supporting the feckless cowards that perpetrate it and cheer it on. You know, "your crew." Silence is Violence!

GTFOH with this shite. Stop pretending you know anything about me other than the few things I post here, or assuming you know who and what I do and don't support. You could just ask me, not that you give half a damn about the answer. You won't ask, though. It's a lot easier to just demonize and assume than it is to have a discussion.

As an aside, while I think JustinCharge has some super loony ideas and beliefs, I think you're a pretty good poster, and mostly respectful. So thanks for that. HT, notsomuch. Although I will admit that I do really like the Hardcore Troubadour handle. I would consider stealing it for myself on some other sites, but the negative association has prevented me from doing it.

Lay off the soy, son. It will make your breasts bigger. 

[MDC 7,482]

1 hour ago, JustinCharge said:

This is like a hydra.  If you cut off the head (Trump) then 235234827 more appear to take his place and then you've lost all control.  The best way to ensure a civil war doesn't happen at this point is to make sure Trump stays in charge of it all.

Stay golden Pony Boy.  

[taco breath 424]

1 hour ago, Hardcore troubadour said:

Lay off the soy, son. It will make your breasts bigger. 

Dream on.

[Rusty Syringes 478]

This whole civil-war, windmill-jousting, chicken-little baloney is just going to get funnier the longer we go without an actual civil war occurring. There isn't going to be a civil war. Maybe civil unrest like the handful of racist goons in Oregon, but come on man, give it a rest and a reality dose.

[Hardcore troubadour 15,492]

11 minutes ago, Rusty Syringes said:

This whole civil-war, windmill-jousting, chicken-little baloney is just going to get funnier the longer we go without an actual civil war occurring. There isn't going to be a civil war. Maybe civil unrest like the handful of racist goons in Oregon, but come on man, give it a rest and a reality dose.

Who are you talking to? More dishonest dialogue. One guy is always talking about civil war. Address him instead of disingenuously implying it’s everyone on the right. Pathetic. 

[Voltaire 5,317]

Politics kills things.

I think Fnord has been a valuable add to the forum even though I disagree with much of his posts, they always come across as reasonable and well thought out, with very little flaming although it is directed at him. I'm also glad worms is back. A few weeks back, I had been delighted to see Rusty start posting again, as I have many fond memories, but sadly Rusty 2.0 has been utterly horrible. Still I'll keep the light on, maybe 1.0 is still in there somewhere. I'd hate for his return to go the way of Newbie's went, another former great poster.

I also liked seeing penultimatestraw's username around but he needs to do more than just show up, claim his bet money from BLS and leave again because I can't help but wonder if he'd have come back at all had he lost that bet.

[JustinCharge 2,397]

2 hours ago, Voltaire said:

Politics kills things.

All the escapes have been removed.  We cannot watch sports, tv shows, or films without massive amounts of politics being injected.

[Rusty Syringes 478]

11 hours ago, Fnord said:

Holding BLM exclusively responsible for that is ludicrous.  The people doing that sh!t didn't GAF about BLM. They were there to cause trouble and the protests gave them cover for it. If they were there trying to support BLM, then they're even bigger morons than I can imagine.

THIS.

People keep lumping in BLM with the same kind of thugs and opportunists who rioted over the whole Rodney King thing. I spoke with a Texas Department of Transportation officer - someone who is conservative as hell - about these situations. He dealt with some of the protests in Austin. Sure, there are some bad apples in BLM, but the ones doing the looting, burning and assaulting are opportunists who are largely uneducated criminals who don't give two sh!ts about BLM and politics. Same thing with the Watts riots in 1965. 

The Proud Boys, Boogaloo Boys, neo-Nazis and other extreme-right organizations are far more dangerous. 

As I've said before, none of this extremism should be tolerated. 

[Utilit99 4,099]

Just now, Rusty Syringes said:

THIS.

People keep lumping in BLM with the same kind of thugs and opportunists who rioted over the whole Rodney King thing. I spoke with a Texas Department of Transportation officer - someone who is conservative as hell - about these situations. He dealt with some of the protests in Austin. Sure, there are some bad apples in BLM, but the ones doing the looting, burning and assaulting are opportunists who are largely uneducated criminals who don't give two sh!ts about BLM and politics. Same thing with the Watts riots in 1965. 

The Proud Boys, Boogaloo Boys, neo-Nazis and other extreme-right organizations are far more dangerous. 

As I've said before, none of this extremism should be tolerated. 

Slip sliding away...

This is what happens to the weak-minded in the US.

Just say 'no' to liberal cults.

[Hardcore troubadour 15,492]

8 minutes ago, Utilit99 said:

Slip sliding away...

This is what happens to the weak-minded in the US.

Just say 'no' to liberal cults.

What a joke. Now he says it shouldn’t be tolerated. Biden and Harris will say the same thing. I wonder if Kamalas staff will be bailing out anymore mostly peaceful protesters? Rusty is probably unaware that was going on. But he totally condemns it now.  Another low information  voter. 

[Reality 3,121]

3 hours ago, Voltaire said:

I also liked seeing penultimatestraw's username around but he needs to do more than just show up, claim his bet money from BLS and leave again because I can't help but wonder if he'd have come back at all had he lost that bet.

He 100% wouldn't have.

[RLLD 4,251]

9 hours ago, Rusty Syringes said:

This whole civil-war, windmill-jousting, chicken-little baloney is just going to get funnier the longer we go without an actual civil war occurring. There isn't going to be a civil war. Maybe civil unrest like the handful of racist goons in Oregon, but come on man, give it a rest and a reality dose.

That would be a relief, and I think you are correct.   The conservatives are more often the adults in the room, are not as likely to behave as liberals have for the last four years.  That being said, somewhere out there is a situation, a line in the sand....though not a "red" one such as that of Obama....its a real one and if the left continues down this path I have to believe they hit a point at which reasonable people will no longer stand for it

[Hardcore troubadour 15,492]

7 minutes ago, RLLD said:

That would be a relief, and I think you are correct.   The conservatives are more often the adults in the room, are not as likely to behave as liberals have for the last four years.  That being said, somewhere out there is a situation, a line in the sand....though not a "red" one such as that of Obama....its a real one and if the left continues down this path I have to believe they hit a point at which reasonable people will no longer stand for it

I think it will be in the schools in states that are split but one party holds power concentrated in the urban areas. They aren’t going to stop pushing their woke/lgbtq agenda and I think that’s when it will go over the line. And it’s not going to take long. The new Secretary of education Biden has on tap was in charge of the schools in Connecticut. He instituted mandatory stand alone classes for black/Latino history. They now have their own period. Which will be nothing but white man bad, as we all know. And we all know an lgbtq class is on the way as well. At least the Chinese and Indian kids are still learning math and science. At home probably. We will have a woke culture that can’t make anything. Or defend it. 

[Utilit99 4,099]

28 minutes ago, Hardcore troubadour said:

What a joke. Now he says it shouldn’t be tolerated. Biden and Harris will say the same thing. I wonder if Kamalas staff will be bailing out anymore mostly peaceful protesters? Rusty is probably unaware that was going on. But he totally condemns it now.  Another low information  voter. 

It's amazing. It's difficult to know if they really believe what they are saying and don't know anything about all the shlt that the left has been doing over the last 4 years, or if it's the TDS retardation of their minds. Or both. 

One thing is clear and simple, their actions are based upon wanting to turn this country into a socialist hell hole. 

[Hardcore troubadour 15,492]

5 minutes ago, Utilit99 said:

It's amazing. It's difficult to know if they really believe what they are saying and don't know anything about all the shlt that the left has been doing over the last 4 years, or if it's the TDS retardation of their minds. Or both. 

One thing is clear and simple, their actions are based upon wanting to turn this country into a socialist hell hole. 

Never mind they tuned out any media that went against the narrative, they shut down any individual that did. OMB. That’s the beginning, middle and end of their political discourse over the last 5 years. 

[Rusty Syringes 478]

You Clownzo loyalists are so lockstep in tune with one another that I bet your monthly periods are synchronized.

[Utilit99 4,099]

7 minutes ago, Rusty Syringes said:

You Clownzo loyalists are so lockstep in tune with one another that I bet your monthly periods are synchronized.

Being stupid and showing it off never gets old to you does it?

[Hardcore troubadour 15,492]

8 minutes ago, Rusty Syringes said:

You Clownzo loyalists are so lockstep in tune with one another that I bet your monthly periods are synchronized.

Oh look. Hey, when is the rest of the inbred clown posse coming for me like you promised? Crying closet door stuck? 

[JustinCharge 2,397]

Let this sink in. Rusty just said MAYBE there will be civil unrest.  So he actually doesnt think we had widespread civil unrest this summer.  The chaz, the looting and rioting in major cities.  That wasnt civil unrest in his mind. 

[Rusty Syringes 478]

57 minutes ago, Utilit99 said:

Being stupid and showing it off never gets old to you does it?

He used the word "stupid" again.

[Rusty Syringes 478]

If you alt-righties are so hateful toward BLM, what the hell are you doing here?

This is a website dedicated to fantasy football and the NFL.

The NFL supports BLM to the point of sporting patches.

https://www.cbssports.com/nfl/news/nfl-coaches-officials-will-also-wear-patches-to-remember-victims-of-systemic-racism-this-season/#:~:text=Kansas City offensive coordinator Eric,Matter" in the 2020 season.

Quote

As NFL players wear decals on their helmets to remember victims of systemic racism, more than 225 NFL coaches will also be joining with patches of their own.

CBSSports.com has learned NFL coaches and officials will wear similar patches on their hats, being able to choose among one of the four league-approved social-justice phrases or names of victims of systemic racism. Kansas City offensive coordinator Eric Bieniemy will wear George Floyd's name on his hat all season, while head coach Adam Gase's entire New York Jets coaching staff has decided collectively to wear "Black Lives Matter" in the 2020 season.

So you invest a lot of time watching a professional sport you love and hanging out in a message board for a website dedicated to that sport.

This makes so much sense.

[Hardcore troubadour 15,492]

43 minutes ago, Rusty Syringes said:

If you alt-righties are so hateful toward BLM, what the hell are you doing here?

This is a website dedicated to fantasy football and the NFL.

The NFL supports BLM to the point of sporting patches.

https://www.cbssports.com/nfl/news/nfl-coaches-officials-will-also-wear-patches-to-remember-victims-of-systemic-racism-this-season/#:~:text=Kansas City offensive coordinator Eric,Matter" in the 2020 season.

So you invest a lot of time watching a professional sport you love and hanging out in a message board for a website dedicated to that sport.

This makes so much sense.

This is what defeat looks like. Take a good look kids. You do not want to be like him. 

[TBayXXXVII 2,552]

1 hour ago, JustinCharge said:

Let this sink in. Rusty just said MAYBE there will be civil unrest.  So he actually doesnt think we had widespread civil unrest this summer.  The chaz, the looting and rioting in major cities.  That wasnt civil unrest in his mind. 

It's safer to have that approach.  That way, if we do have a Civil War, he can call that "Civil Unrest", so that he can still maintain a talking point that there'll be no Civil War.

[Rusty Syringes 478]

29 minutes ago, Hardcore troubadour said:

This is what defeat looks like. Take a good look kids. You do not want to be like him. 

So defeat looks like a BLM hater posting in a forum that's part of a website dedicated to fantasy football for the NFL, whose coaches and players largely support BLM.

This is some mighty fine unintentional hilarity on your part, but maybe a Proud Boys forum would be a more appropriate place for you.

[TBayXXXVII 2,552]

I'm not hoping for a Civil War, but I'll be honest, I think it's unavoidable the way things sit.  The far Left (socialists), are almost as big as the general (I can't say "normal", because I don't think they exist anymore), Democrats.  I'd say that the Democrat Party demographic is 60% Democrat / 40% Socialist... and as we saw in this election, the Socialist portion is growing.  At some point, the Socialists are going to take over and I don't see the general Democrats switching sides to destroy the Socialist faction.  So, the outcome will be one of two scenario's...

1. The Democrats and Socialists split, leaving a growing population of Republican's in DC.
2. The Socialists taking over and the Democrats just sucking it up and dealing with it.

I don't see Scenario 1 playing out.  When Scenario 2 hits and we get Socialists in power in WH and either the House or Senate, that'll be the start of the Civil War.  I don't see how that's avoidable.  Republican's will never concede to Socialism, ever.  The Democrats might... and probably will because they're mostly cowards.  All of the warning signs are there, for a Civil War... lack of trust in the media, lack of trust in the government, lack of trust in business, etc.  Unless one side completely gives up and agree with the other side, I don't know how CW2 gets avoided.

More over, I think this will be the worst war this planet has ever seen.  Tens of millions of people will die... possibly as much as half of our population.

The ONLY way out, the way I see it, is that this country truly does split in half.  I think over time, people will move.  The Democrats are showing that they themselves are trying to avoid Democrat politicians (and still vote Democrat), with their mass defection of California.  Democrats are moving out... Socialists are moving in.  Once they take over CA, which and argument can be made that they already did, DC is the next step.  With Harris being in the WH, the argument can be made that it's already starting there.

 

The best way for a Civil War to be avoided is if black people wise up and realize that the Democrats & Socialists are using them for their own gain and they start voting Republican en masse.  Democrats will lose every election if they lose the black vote.

[Utilit99 4,099]

4 hours ago, Rusty Syringes said:

He used the word "stupid" again.

Yep. Seems appropriate when addressing you have to say. 

[JustinCharge 2,397]

23 hours ago, Voltaire said:

Politics kills things.

I think Fnord has been a valuable add to the forum even though I disagree with much of his posts, they always come across as reasonable and well thought out, with very little flaming although it is directed at him. I'm also glad worms is back. A few weeks back, I had been delighted to see Rusty start posting again, as I have many fond memories, but sadly Rusty 2.0 has been utterly horrible. Still I'll keep the light on, maybe 1.0 is still in there somewhere. I'd hate for his return to go the way of Newbie's went, another former great poster.

I also liked seeing penultimatestraw's username around but he needs to do more than just show up, claim his bet money from BLS and leave again because I can't help but wonder if he'd have come back at all had he lost that bet.

You need to be able to recognize dangerous individuals.

Dangerous individuals, when NOT in a position of power, can be identified because they absolutely bombard you with guilt trips and personal attacks. If they ever get in a position of power, they go violent.  A great example is this video of a patrol stop.  The suspect starts out not in a position of power.  Pretty much every response he feeds the cops is either trying to guilt trip them or personally attack them.  Towards the end of the video, he gets ahold of a gun.  His demeanor completely changes into a total killer, stands up straight with confidence and shoots to kill without hesitation.

Not being able to correctly recognize the constant guilt trips and personal attacks as the telltale signs of a psychopath cost an officer his life that night.

It applies on this forum as well.  Rusty constantly uses guilt trips and personal attacks.  He is mentally ill.  He is a psychopath.  It is undeniable.  There's a good chance he engages in violent behavior.

 

 

[RLLD 4,251]

It would seem that in the next 10 years the socialists fully takeover the Democratic party.  Maybe a third party arises for sane Democrats, or maybe they simply roll into the conservatives stable...who knows.

It will be the socialists that cause any civil strife.  They are already the most violent sect in this nation right now, if they get more power and then even bolder I think we see the fractures arise in urban vs rural at first, then it will be mostly the suburban areas where we see the violence spark most heavily....it will become a defacto battleground.

The hard working people will have some wealth, and be able to afford to relocate, the socialists will steadily take over the urban areas with a submit or else approach. Our cities will be gutted and turn into hellholes, way worse than they are now.

As resources run thin there should arise internal fights within these urban sh!tholes, but they will attempt to lash out. I do think there are still more normal people than Democrats out there. The socialists should lose since many aligned to them at the moment are doing so because of the social standing it affords, and some out of just fear

[Rusty Syringes 478]

7 hours ago, JustinCharge said:

You need to be able to recognize dangerous individuals.

Dangerous individuals, when NOT in a position of power, can be identified because they absolutely bombard you with guilt trips and personal attacks. If they ever get in a position of power, they go violent.  A great example is this video of a patrol stop.  The suspect starts out not in a position of power.  Pretty much every response he feeds the cops is either trying to guilt trip them or personally attack them.  Towards the end of the video, he gets ahold of a gun.  His demeanor completely changes into a total killer, stands up straight with confidence and shoots to kill without hesitation.

Not being able to correctly recognize the constant guilt trips and personal attacks as the telltale signs of a psychopath cost an officer his life that night.

It applies on this forum as well.  Rusty constantly uses guilt trips and personal attacks.  He is mentally ill.  He is a psychopath.  It is undeniable.  There's a good chance he engages in violent behavior.

 

 

And while some people in the new land listened, Nostradumbass grew restless and fretted over his next move. He worried that the people of a neighboring land known as Antifica would rise up with their skateboards and attack FFTodayland, perhaps even its capital called Fuhnerton, where they might litter the land with crudely-drawn signs and leave all the trash dumpsters burning.

The Antifica population had grown accustomed to not working while expecting their government to pay for their health care, food, lodging, beer, satellite television, hookers and blow. Nostradumbass earlier in his life had a vision that the Antifites would grow bored and descend upon FFtodayland, tossing firecrackers and bonking people over the head with skateboards.

This earlier vision had now grown into anxious, paranoid delusions for Nostradumbass, who was still haunted by the lie that had followed him from Footballguysuckstan into FFtodayland. But before he could tell the people about that, every vision he had ever had since childhood began to come true before his very eyes.

Four brightly-blazing angels holding seals descended from space and hovered above the four corners of FFtodayland.

The Angel of the East broke open her seal, unleashing a putrid queef upon the land, causing the land's women to menstruate from their eyeballs and the men to have erections lasting more than four hours. And Nostradumbass did the banana dance.

The Angel of the South then broke open her seal, and a wave of socialism rose up from the sea and washed over the land. And Nostradumbass did the banana dance.

The Angel of the West followed by breaking her own seal, unleashing a sonic boom that crumbled the land's gates, allowing for the Antifites to pour in, toss firecrackers, whack people over the head with skateboards, litter the land with crudely-drawn signs, set the trash dumpsters on fire and demand the government hand them money. And Nostradumbass did the banana dance.

The Angel of the North then opened her seal, and suddenly a calm fell over the land. The queef smell, the Antifites and the socialism suddenly disappeared. And Nostradumbass grew gravely disappointed and wept.

But then a strange dome of water began growing out in the sea. The dome began moving toward the land, and as it did, an odd-colored land began to emerge from the water dome. It was covered in gray moss and discolored spots.

The odd-colored land continued to grow out of the water.

And then two blue eyes emerged. Then a nose and a mouth of bright-white teeth.

Then the people realized it was not a land. It was the dreaded Joebiden, a massive sea monster whose story was told only in mythology books.

The Joebiden rose from the sea, standing 2,020 feet tall. He turned his back, bent over and unleashed a mighty fart upon the land, instantly killing 74 million people, including Nostradumbass, who would have been killed in a civil war anyway.

With its massive balls dangling just yards over the land, the Joebiden began rampaging through the kingdom, his swinging taters knocking down the buildings where the 74 million people once lived.

But there was a part of the Joebiden that was kind and merciful, and he spared the homes and lives of the 81 million who did not perish in the fart.

The Joebiden took over the land and allowed back in the Antifites and the socialism, but not the queef.

And the land prospered.

The end.

 

 

 

 

[Utilit99 4,099]

1 hour ago, Rusty Syringes said:

And while some people in the new land listened, Nostradumbass grew restless and fretted over his next move. He worried that the people of a neighboring land known as Antifica would rise up with their skateboards and attack FFTodayland, perhaps even its capital called Fuhnerton, where they might litter the land with crudely-drawn signs and leave all the trash dumpsters burning.

The Antifica population had grown accustomed to not working while expecting their government to pay for their health care, food, lodging, beer, satellite television, hookers and blow. Nostradumbass earlier in his life had a vision that the Antifites would grow bored and descend upon FFtodayland, tossing firecrackers and bonking people over the head with skateboards.

This earlier vision had now grown into anxious, paranoid delusions for Nostradumbass, who was still haunted by the lie that had followed him from Footballguysuckstan into FFtodayland. But before he could tell the people about that, every vision he had ever had since childhood began to come true before his very eyes.

Four brightly-blazing angels holding seals descended from space and hovered above the four corners of FFtodayland.

The Angel of the East broke open her seal, unleashing a putrid queef upon the land, causing the land's women to menstruate from their eyeballs and the men to have erections lasting more than four hours. And Nostradumbass did the banana dance.

The Angel of the South then broke open her seal, and a wave of socialism rose up from the sea and washed over the land. And Nostradumbass did the banana dance.

The Angel of the West followed by breaking her own seal, unleashing a sonic boom that crumbled the land's gates, allowing for the Antifites to pour in, toss firecrackers, whack people over the head with skateboards, litter the land with crudely-drawn signs, set the trash dumpsters on fire and demand the government hand them money. And Nostradumbass did the banana dance.

The Angel of the North then opened her seal, and suddenly a calm fell over the land. The queef smell, the Antifites and the socialism suddenly disappeared. And Nostradumbass grew gravely disappointed and wept.

But then a strange dome of water began growing out in the sea. The dome began moving toward the land, and as it did, an odd-colored land began to emerge from the water dome. It was covered in gray moss and discolored spots.

The odd-colored land continued to grow out of the water.

And then two blue eyes emerged. Then a nose and a mouth of bright-white teeth.

Then the people realized it was not a land. It was the dreaded Joebiden, a massive sea monster whose story was told only in mythology books.

The Joebiden rose from the sea, standing 2,020 feet tall. He turned his back, bent over and unleashed a mighty fart upon the land, instantly killing 74 million people, including Nostradumbass, who would have been killed in a civil war anyway.

With its massive balls dangling just yards over the land, the Joebiden began rampaging through the kingdom, his swinging taters knocking down the buildings where the 74 million people once lived.

But there was a part of the Joebiden that was kind and merciful, and he spared the homes and lives of the 81 million who did not perish in the fart.

The Joebiden took over the land and allowed back in the Antifites and the socialism, but not the queef.

And the land prospered.

The end.

 

 

 

 

TDS is real folks.

[Hardcore troubadour 15,492]

31 minutes ago, Utilit99 said:

TDS is real folks.

Man, I wish I was posting here when these guys were around. I really missed out on the glory days. This place must have been great.  Do you think anyone actually read that? 

[Utilit99 4,099]

32 minutes ago, Hardcore troubadour said:

Man, I wish I was posting here when these guys were around. I really missed out on the glory days. This place must have been great.  Do you think anyone actually read that? 

Not a word.