online dating

[Alias Detective 1,389]

9 hours ago, Gepetto said:

So, a girl responds to each message sent, but it's short and sweet. 

 

Guy: Hi, that's a cute photo of you and your pup! How are you?

Girl: Aww  thank you

Girl: I'm good thanks

 

Guy: Hi "You", comment about something from her profile and a light short joke.

        Mention about interesting fun things he did over the weekend followed by a question, did you do anything fun?

       Look forward to talking to you.

      Have a good night!

       - Guy

Dating site shows that she viewed his profile for the first time.

Girl: Nice to meet you

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I don't even know how to talk to someone like this. She doesn't say anything to further the conversation. 

I think either she's terrible at online dating or he is.

How would you respond to her saying: "Nice to meet you"?  Or would you not respond at all?

Do you think she's interested? or just being polite?

I thought if they weren't interested they don't respond at all.

Dude, come on.

[Alias Detective 1,389]

9 hours ago, IGotWorms said:

I met my fiancée on Bumble. I would suggest that one and Hinge. POF was pretty bad but that might also just be my area…

Also it’s been a couple years now so there’s probably new ones I don’t know about

Damn boy, did ya even heal from the last one yet?

[WhiteWonder 2,675]

7 hours ago, IGotWorms said:

Real talk: you’re too picky.

You should be swiping for any woman that even remotely attracts you. Could be anything about her — something in her profile, or something about one of her pics — whatever the case may be. Give her a chance and see if you can grow on whatever that initial attraction is.

Set your range to include women at least a couple years older than you. And you need to include women with children. Most of them are going to be divorcees with children, that’s just life at your age.

Not trying to be rude or anything, but you gotta be more open and not looking for faults or reasons to exclude anyone. Maybe when you were in your 20s or 30s but not now. And that’s perfectly okay, I think you’ll find if you give more women a chance some of them will pleasantly surprise you

Spot on. 

For starters, setting your age range for your age and younger is going to really limit your matches. As women get older, just like men, they also want their age and younger. Women in their 30's are rarely looking for guys in their late 40s. You should definitely have the filter up to 52ish. 

[bostonlager 2,664]

BigPete met his wife on this forearm. 

[Mookz 1,337]

14 hours ago, Gepetto said:

I don't think it is though. Before I contacted her I think I remember her adding a new photo. I wouldn't think a fake would be active like that. It also shows 3 photos of her, not just one. Maybe a fake, I don't know what a faker would be accomplishing, in this instance, if it's fake though.

If you'd like to post screenshots of her pics here, I'd be happy to vet her for you.  

[RaiderHaters Revenge 4,236]

5 hours ago, WhiteWonder said:

Spot on. 

For starters, setting your age range for your age and younger is going to really limit your matches. As women get older, just like men, they also want their age and younger. Women in their 30's are rarely looking for guys in their late 40s. You should definitely have the filter up to 52ish. 

nope hes my age, you couldnt be more wrong, women in their 40's want men in their 40's so do women in their 30's and 20's

I am 48, my parameters on age are 48-30 on bumble, and 49-35 on Hinge

every single woman I have dated, wont date men younger than them by more than about a year

I have dated up to 60 and down to 23

my current is 37

 

[WhiteWonder 2,675]

1 hour ago, RaiderHaters Revenge said:

nope hes my age, you couldnt be more wrong, women in their 40's want men in their 40's so do women in their 30's and 20's

I am 48, my parameters on age are 48-30 on bumble, and 49-35 on Hinge

every single woman I have dated, wont date men younger than them by more than about a year

I have dated up to 60 and down to 23

my current is 37

 

Sorry man, you say I "couldn't be more wrong" which is a big statement considering I am 100% right based on my own experience. Maybe its an east coast thing. 

I have dated more than my fair share of cougars and milfs through tinder and bumble and every single match, not just the ones I ultimately pursued, had their age filters set for younger... maximum to their own age. Never older. 

Why? Simple. A lot are divorced and after years of marriage, either want what they missed out on or feel like they can find an attractive younger guy who doesn't want kids and still have a relationship. 

Women in their 20's? Yes, I agree... they will go older. Often because they like the idea of being spoiled/taken care of. You might be able to find the real thing with a girl that young but it would be a one off. When she's considering something serious or to settle down, she can find an attractive guy with a good personality who isn't twice her age. I've never met a 20 something off a dating site who wanted to go more than 5-6 years older for a serious relationship. 

In their 30's? They are even more focused on the real thing. Maybe willing to go a few years older. So mid 30's and late 30's I might agree, would go for 40's but again a 10 year gap would be rare. 

 

You've got 11 years on me so you're seeing it from the other side. I am not doubting your experience, but I also know my own.  I stand by my statement that his potential pool of matches would increase a lot if he were willing to raise his age range to a few years older than him.  At 48/49 what is the point of only going your age and younger? Seems superficial. Guaranteed there are very attractive women with great personalities who are 50-52 and look younger than he does. 

[Reality 3,092]

I'm sure I'd dip my toe in this stuff if I had to but, thankful my situation never made it necessary.

Seems exhausting.

[RogerDodger 797]

17 hours ago, Gepetto said:

So, a girl responds to each message sent, but it's short and sweet. 

 

Guy: Hi, that's a cute photo of you and your pup! How are you?

Girl: Aww  thank you

Girl: I'm good thanks

 

Guy: Hi "You", comment about something from her profile and a light short joke.

        Mention about interesting fun things he did over the weekend followed by a question, did you do anything fun?

       Look forward to talking to you.

      Have a good night!

       - Guy

Dating site shows that she viewed his profile for the first time.

Girl: Nice to meet you

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I don't even know how to talk to someone like this. She doesn't say anything to further the conversation. 

I think either she's terrible at online dating or he is.

How would you respond to her saying: "Nice to meet you"?  Or would you not respond at all?

Do you think she's interested? or just being polite?

I thought if they weren't interested they don't respond at all.

Seems obvious - she's not interested being polite.

[TheNewGirl 1,342]

25 minutes ago, Reality said:

I'm sure I'd dip my toe in this stuff if I had to but, thankful my situation never made it necessary.

Seems exhausting.

I recently joined a social media page for my locale called, "Girl, Don't Date Him." 

Members post anonymously about guys they've met or have dates with asking if anyone knows them, red flags. etc. These are guys they meet almost every where, online, in person. 

After reading some of their posts and the alleged "dating pool" out there both in person and online? NO THANKS. I'll switch teams or something, but the male dating pool that they post about is just horrid. Married, cheaters, domestic violence, "Hey I know that guy, he's living on my brother's couch..." just ALL kinds of trash. Love bombers. All of it. 

NO. 

THANK. 

YOU. 

[BeenHereBefore 1,454]

3 minutes ago, TheNewGirl said:

I recently joined a social media page for my locale called, "Girl, Don't Date Him." 

Members post anonymously about guys they've met or have dates with asking if anyone knows them, red flags. etc. These are guys they meet almost every where, online, in person. 

After reading some of their posts and the alleged "dating pool" out there both in person and online? NO THANKS. I'll switch teams or something, but the male dating pool that they post about is just horrid. Married, cheaters, domestic violence, "Hey I know that guy, he's living on my brother's couch..." just ALL kinds of trash. Love bombers. All of it. 

NO. 

THANK. 

YOU. 

Maybe you can do better on here.

[TheNewGirl 1,342]

1 minute ago, BeenHereBefore said:

Maybe you can do better on here.

Doubt it. Also, I'd never date or even meet anyone from here again. 

[kilroy69 1,216]

My experience with online dating has been meh at best. Most of the women are wildly unrealistic. Half of them look like gorlock the destroyer. Have kids and addictions. But "you can be a part of this" 

 

I picked up a crazy on bumble. It is supposed to be the "she chooses you" site. They make it sound like it is way more classy. It was the first masochist I had ever ran across. We dated for about a month and she dumped me.  Was I a bad guy? An assshole? Nope I did not hit her HARD enough during sex. Each time we had sex all I could think was "man there are so many ways for this to go wrong"  Funny part of the story is that I went out and got a BDSM kit from amazon and then went to the dollar general and got a cat toy on a stick. I pulled the feather off and used it to cane her ass and she loved it. I named her kitty in my phone. 

[BeenHereBefore 1,454]

2 minutes ago, TheNewGirl said:

Doubt it. Also, I'd never date or even meet anyone from here again. 

But we sound like a better class of losers then the ones you mentioned.

[BeenHereBefore 1,454]

I met two chics local online back in the late 90's and turn out both more then 50 lbs overweight. That was it for me, Would have like to tried later when the internet got much bigger but then was with the GF.

[RaiderHaters Revenge 4,236]

51 minutes ago, WhiteWonder said:

Sorry man, you say I "couldn't be more wrong" which is a big statement considering I am 100% right based on my own experience. Maybe its an east coast thing. 

I have dated more than my fair share of cougars and milfs through tinder and bumble and every single match, not just the ones I ultimately pursued, had their age filters set for younger... maximum to their own age. Never older. 

Why? Simple. A lot are divorced and after years of marriage, either want what they missed out on or feel like they can find an attractive younger guy who doesn't want kids and still have a relationship. 

Women in their 20's? Yes, I agree... they will go older. Often because they like the idea of being spoiled/taken care of. You might be able to find the real thing with a girl that young but it would be a one off. When she's considering something serious or to settle down, she can find an attractive guy with a good personality who isn't twice her age. I've never met a 20 something off a dating site who wanted to go more than 5-6 years older for a serious relationship. 

In their 30's? They are even more focused on the real thing. Maybe willing to go a few years older. So mid 30's and late 30's I might agree, would go for 40's but again a 10 year gap would be rare. 

 

You've got 11 years on me so you're seeing it from the other side. I am not doubting your experience, but I also know my own.  I stand by my statement that his potential pool of matches would increase a lot if he were willing to raise his age range to a few years older than him.  At 48/49 what is the point of only going your age and younger? Seems superficial. Guaranteed there are very attractive women with great personalities who are 50-52 and look younger than he does. 

You’re right. I shouldn’t have said that. And you’re also right if the women you are talking to just want to get laid. They all try to get younger initially then realize when they want something good. Best to come back to the men than the boys

youre also right. Two of the hottest women I hated were 58 and 57. I prefer to date younger cause I’m now in a phase where I am looking for something more substantial and quite frankly I’m a young looking and energetic 48 and I don’t want to be taking care of an older woman in 10 years. 
 

anyways I wasn’t trying to be combative. Thanks for your insight. Location may matter. Also in Cali a lot of 20-30 year olds are soy boys and need viagara

[RaiderHaters Revenge 4,236]

Also I am writing a dating book/comedy currently and will post some excerpts here  

[TheNewGirl 1,342]

16 hours ago, Gepetto said:

37 to 49. 

 

37 to 49 with no kids? Or no younger kids? 

I mean, I am 46 but my kids are 18 and 21, pretty self sufficient but they do live at home. 

Anyways, I think it is a stretch to be looking for a woman that age without kids, IMO. That's Gen X, a lot of us still believed in getting married and having kids. Younger generations not so much, but if you date younger, there are cons too. 

17 hours ago, Gepetto said:

I won't give up on her then.

I think you need to. 

The conversations that you have had just seem disconnected on her part, and maybe that's how she is. But clearly, that's not what you're looking for truly; you want someone more engaging. I don't care how thin, cute, no kids she is. Socially awkward is one thing (I am myself) but if I were TRULY interested in someone, I'd show more interest. She needs to learn how to talk to people before she tries dating or it will be a very boring and un-engaging relationship to keep a guy interested. JMO. 

If you keep pressing her, you're creepy. Chalk it up to learning and move onto the next one. 

[Bier Meister 1,657]

18 minutes ago, TheNewGirl said:

Doubt it. Also, I'd never date or even meet anyone from here again. 

 

[IGotWorms 4,057]

25 minutes ago, TheNewGirl said:

I recently joined a social media page for my locale called, "Girl, Don't Date Him." 

Members post anonymously about guys they've met or have dates with asking if anyone knows them, red flags. etc. These are guys they meet almost every where, online, in person. 

After reading some of their posts and the alleged "dating pool" out there both in person and online? NO THANKS. I'll switch teams or something, but the male dating pool that they post about is just horrid. Married, cheaters, domestic violence, "Hey I know that guy, he's living on my brother's couch..." just ALL kinds of trash. Love bombers. All of it. 

NO. 

THANK. 

YOU. 

It’s true on both sides (men and women) and about what you’d expect, tbh.

Imagine if you had a cross section of all members of the opposite sex assembled for you to approach one by one.

Lots would be creepers, rejects and weirdos. Many others might be fine but don’t appeal to you personally.

Then you’re down to the ones that interest you and out of those how many are interested back. In the end you’re looking at maybe 5% or something that are potential decent dating matches?

Pretty much the same on the apps. These days that’s how most people meet so it’s not like they’re any worse than the general dating pool

[Mike Honcho 5,096]

18 hours ago, Gepetto said:

So, a girl responds to each message sent, but it's short and sweet. 

 

Guy: Hi, that's a cute photo of you and your pup! How are you?

Girl: Aww  thank you

Girl: I'm good thanks

 

Guy: Hi "You", comment about something from her profile and a light short joke.

        Mention about interesting fun things he did over the weekend followed by a question, did you do anything fun?

       Look forward to talking to you.

      Have a good night!

       - Guy

Dating site shows that she viewed his profile for the first time.

Girl: Nice to meet you

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I don't even know how to talk to someone like this. She doesn't say anything to further the conversation. 

I think either she's terrible at online dating or he is.

How would you respond to her saying: "Nice to meet you"?  Or would you not respond at all?

Do you think she's interested? or just being polite?

I thought if they weren't interested they don't respond at all.

Ask to see her t!ts

[TBayXXXVII 2,482]

18 hours ago, Gepetto said:

So, a girl responds to each message sent, but it's short and sweet. 

 

Guy: Hi, that's a cute photo of you and your pup! How are you?

Girl: Aww  thank you

Girl: I'm good thanks

 

Guy: Hi "You", comment about something from her profile and a light short joke.

        Mention about interesting fun things he did over the weekend followed by a question, did you do anything fun?

       Look forward to talking to you.

      Have a good night!

       - Guy

Dating site shows that she viewed his profile for the first time.

Girl: Nice to meet you

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I don't even know how to talk to someone like this. She doesn't say anything to further the conversation. 

I think either she's terrible at online dating or he is.

How would you respond to her saying: "Nice to meet you"?  Or would you not respond at all?

Do you think she's interested? or just being polite?

I thought if they weren't interested they don't respond at all.

My guess is that she's not interested.  Don't be the next person to send a message, force her to contribute.  If she doesn't, then you know she's not interested.  Honestly though, it shouldn't be this difficult.  I'd suggest moving on completely.

[BeenHereBefore 1,454]

17 minutes ago, TBayXXXVII said:

My guess is that she's not interested.  Don't be the next person to send a message, force her to contribute.  If she doesn't, then you know she's not interested.  Honestly though, it shouldn't be this difficult.  I'd suggest moving on completely.

He probably already F'ed it up and what is the harm in asking to see the Dolly Parton's like Mike mentioned ? She could be a freak and his general talk bored her.

[JustinCharge 2,397]

21 hours ago, BeenHereBefore said:

I met two chics local online back in the late 90's and turn out both more then 50 lbs overweight. That was it for me, Would have like to tried later when the internet got much bigger but then was with the GF.

Sounds like the internet was plenty big enough in the 90s for you. 

[JustinCharge 2,397]

I do a lot better in person with women so i never bothered with online.  Easiest way to break the ice sometimes is just pointing out all the weirdos around you. 

[TheNewGirl 1,342]

So in just seeing some social media posts about the things that some single women deal with one of the BIG things is that men appear to feel like they are "owed" something by these single women. 

No matter what you do; smile, engage in conversation, buy her a drink, take her on a date...doesn't matter. She doesn't owe you anything. She doesn't owe you a smile back, or a thank you, or her phone number. Nothing. There are SOOO many videos of men engaging with women and just keep pushing and pushing as if they feel like they are owed something. 

If a woman is interested in you and wants to get to know you, she will let you know. 

[MTSkiBum 1,620]

I bet most men think men have it more difficult and most women think they have it more difficult. 

[RaiderHaters Revenge 4,236]

Just now, MTSkiBum said:

I bet most men think men have it more difficult and most women think they have it more difficult. 

girl I am dating right now we matched first day she was on the site, and shes like get me off this sh1t, she had 989 messages in the first 24 hours

 

[Wade Garrett 155]

3 hours ago, TheNewGirl said:

So in just seeing some social media posts about the things that some single women deal with one of the BIG things is that men appear to feel like they are "owed" something by these single women. 

No matter what you do; smile, engage in conversation, buy her a drink, take her on a date...doesn't matter. She doesn't owe you anything. She doesn't owe you a smile back, or a thank you, or her phone number. Nothing. There are SOOO many videos of men engaging with women and just keep pushing and pushing as if they feel like they are owed something. 

If a woman is interested in you and wants to get to know you, she will let you know. 

Good post girlio.

Those of us high value dudes who have women throwing themselves at us know this feel.  You play it cool and let her make the first moves.

 

[RaiderHaters Revenge 4,236]

2 minutes ago, Wade Garrett said:

Good post girlio.

Those of us high value dudes who have women throwing themselves at us know this feel.  You play it cool and let her make the first moves.

 

oh yah women throw themselves at soy boys

[BeenHereBefore 1,454]

3 hours ago, JustinCharge said:

Sounds like the internet was plenty big enough in the 90s for you. 

Too Big then lol. Wasn't a dating site and just a Pennsylvania chat room where I meant them.

[Wade Garrett 155]

2 minutes ago, RaiderHaters Revenge said:

oh yah women throw themselves at soy boys

Well they certainly ain't throwing themselves at freaking casino dealers...LMFAO

Well maybe some of the slot grannies...

High value male boyo.  Don't worry about looking it up, you fit none of the qualifications.

SAD

[JustinCharge 2,397]

3 hours ago, TheNewGirl said:

So in just seeing some social media posts about the things that some single women deal with one of the BIG things is that men appear to feel like they are "owed" something by these single women. 

No matter what you do; smile, engage in conversation, buy her a drink, take her on a date...doesn't matter. She doesn't owe you anything. She doesn't owe you a smile back, or a thank you, or her phone number. Nothing. There are SOOO many videos of men engaging with women and just keep pushing and pushing as if they feel like they are owed something. 

If a woman is interested in you and wants to get to know you, she will let you know. 

I think people overthink dating.  People really never change their entire lives.  When you are 9 years old and you meet another 9 year old, you just assume they want to be playful and fun and you start to act silly and have a great time.  That really never changes. Not when your 19 meeting another 19 year old, or 35, or 50 meeting another 50 year old.  You should always approach it with the attitude that you are about to have a great time with this other person.  And if the other person is stuck up or angry or rude, let go and try again.   People get tied up in trying to make the best impression or saying the perfect thing.  It wasnt that way when making friends as a kid and isnt that way meeting women as an adult

[RaiderHaters Revenge 4,236]

1 hour ago, Wade Garrett said:

Well they certainly ain't throwing themselves at freaking casino dealers...LMFAO

Well maybe some of the slot grannies...

High value male boyo.  Don't worry about looking it up, you fit none of the qualifications.

SAD

what in the fock is a boyo

and yep they do, cause I have fun, I spend money like I have no care which I dont and am set for life

I am in shape, and bang incredibly hot chicks beyond my league, but hey enjoy those 300 lb fatties with blue hair, its right in your lane

 

[WhiteWonder 2,675]

6 hours ago, JustinCharge said:

I do a lot better in person with women so i never bothered with online.  Easiest way to break the ice sometimes is just pointing out all the weirdos around you. 

So you just introduce yourself to them? Then what do you talk about?

[IGotWorms 4,057]

42 minutes ago, WhiteWonder said:

So you just introduce yourself to them? Then what do you talk about?

Trump of course 

[MTSkiBum 1,620]

6 hours ago, RaiderHaters Revenge said:

girl I am dating right now we matched first day she was on the site, and shes like get me off this sh1t, she had 989 messages in the first 24 hours

 

 

While there is probably some slight exaggerating going on I think I understand your point.

 

Men throw themselves at women, so women do not need to work as hard as men. Any woman on a dating site is getting tons more messages than any man. 

 

The downside, as a woman is you have to wade through creeps as @TheNewGirl pointed out.

 

The downside as a man is that since every other guy on a dating site messages the woman, as raiders haters points out, this makes it difficult to get noticed amongst the noise. When a woman opens up a dating app she sees more messages and gets the opportunity to choose what she believes is the top percentage and respond. Understanding that there are very different tastes amongst individuals.

[RaiderHaters Revenge 4,236]

Just now, MTSkiBum said:

 

While there is probably some slight exaggerating going on I think I understand your point.

 

Men throw themselves at women, so women do not need to work as hard as men. Any woman on a dating site is getting tons more messages than any man. 

 

The downside, as a woman is you have to wade threw creeps as @TheNewGirl pointed out.

 

The downside as a man is that since every other guy on a dating site messages the woman, as raiders haters points out, this makes it difficult to get noticed amongst the noise. When a woman opens up a dating app she sees more messages and gets the opportunity to choose what she believes is the top percentage and respond. Understanding that there are very different tastes amongst individuals.

no we sat there last night and she showed me

she sent ZERO likes, and had that many

and yep you nailed it, women get the pick of anything they want.  

[WhiteWonder 2,675]

yeah, I was with a female friend and told her that if she just swiped yes she would get a match each time. She said no way. So she started swiping and every single guy was a match. To be fair she is young and attractive but not ridiculously hot or anything. Women have their pick. Especially with dating apps where every guy suddenly has the confidence they wouldn't have had if they had to approach her in person. 

 

[JustinCharge 2,397]

4 hours ago, WhiteWonder said:

So you just introduce yourself to them? Then what do you talk about?

In my day i might not talk at all and just kiss one that was eyeing me but i was hot so its ok lol.