Spinoff - Maintaining contact with your ex

[vuduchile 1,941]

Naomi's thread got me thinking. I'm not in contact with any woman I've ever slept with. After a break up, I've always moved on and cut that person completely out of my life. Granted, I've moved around the country quite a bit, so I'm not exactly running into any of them at the grocery store.

 

Excluding those who are raising children with a former spouse, how many of you are still in regular contact with an ex?

 

If so, what form of contact? Calls? Texts? Emails? Facebook?

 

Does your current bf/gf know you talk to your ex regularly?

 

What do you get from maintaining this constant contact?

 

 

 

 

 

 

[jerryskids 5,206]

I have an ex that I am still in contact with. She, my wife and I were part of a group of friends who started work together out of college. Our breakup was mutual and amicable, we just weren't a good match. She went on to marry another friend from the group. In fact she was one of my wife's bridesmaids.

 

They live in San Diego and we are FB friends. We had dinner with her last year when she visited Phoenix. My wife of course knows about this.

 

Otherwise, I guess I'm FB friends with a few girls I dated in HS, but not seriously. It was 30+ years ago and they live 2500 miles away and they have their lives/families so I don't really think about it. In each case we were friends before and after dating and they sent me the friend request; meh, whatever. It's just more crap to clog up my news feed.

[penultimatestraw 473]

I've got one ex who emails me rarely, like maybe once every couple years. I respond with an update on my life, and the emails end for another couple years. Wife is aware, doesn't openly object but I get the feeling she isn't ecstatic about it.

 

In general, I think keeping in contact is a bad idea.

[TimmySmith 2,782]

If I was not married there would be only one reason to keep in touch.

[nzoner 936]

I would call her more of a fock buddy than an ex and yes we stay in close contact,in fact she was at a party I hosted just this last weekend and my mrs and her get along great.My mrs has never asked about our past but is full aware this girl and I have known each other since high school and she has even gone as far to throw a surprise birthday party for this girl,myself and another good male friend of ours since we were all born within 24 hours of one another.

[jerryskids 5,206]

I've got one ex who emails me rarely, like maybe once every couple years. I respond with an update on my life, and the emails end for another couple years. Wife is aware, doesn't openly object but I get the feeling she isn't ecstatic about it.

 

In general, I think keeping in contact is a bad idea.

In general I agree but I think it depends. In my examples we started and ended as friends and, except for San Diego (a unique situation), the contact is just reading FB status with an occasional "like" about something their kids did.

 

Yours seems creepier.

[cyclone24 1,814]

I only have one......and it was a girl a dated in college...going on 18 years ago....so theres nothing there at all.

 

All the others.....i dont keep in touch nor do they.....usually once its over one of us burned the bridge into the ground.....then lit the ashes of that on fire again...once that has cooled off......THOSE ashes are sprinkled thru the California timbers for their annual hell fest....errr...i mean fire season.

[JT 137]

If I was not married there would be only one reason to keep in touch.

 

Yeah, aside from children, if you decided to move on what is the point of continued contact?

 

IMO, it's mostly people trying to salve their consciences or leave some kind of door open just in case. Both are indicative of immaturity.

[cyclone24 1,814]

 

Yeah, aside from children, if you decided to move on what is the point of continued contact?

 

IMO, it's mostly people trying to salve their consciences or leave some kind of door open just in case. Both are indicative of immaturity.

 

 

Well.....its just to get laid again. Which.....is usually pretty effing hot. Like two rabbid raccoons in a cage made out of badgers. But yeah...other than that...theres no real reason to stay in touch.

[Patriotsfatboy1 1,432]

I have a couple of old girlfriends on Facebook that I communicate with periodically, but nothing major. Of course, I was never really serious with any of them, so it is not really threatening for the Mrs. I just point out that these girls and I bumped uglies at one time.

[IGotWorms 3,315]

Terrible idea. Be nice if you bump into each other or something, but as far as maintaining any real contact -- it's an awful idea. Cut any real ties and move on

[BunnysBastatrds 1,916]

I stay in contact with one. We were each others first love. I ended it after a few years when I realized the relationship was based on everything about her. Typical selfish b!tch. As she got older she realized it and tells me it was the biggest mistake of her life to let me go. It was one of the best decision I ever made. She hasn't changed much. It's pretty selfish on her part to keep in contact with me even though I'm married.

 

She texts me just about every other week. Calls every few months. I'll get drunk and call her if I'm in the mood to talk. Sometimes it's just to be mean and remind of her how much of a selfish ###### she is. Sometimes it's to tell her I miss her. She also sends me sexts. No pictures. Just texts to tell me how badly she wants to do me just one more time.

 

I have only seen her a handful of times since I got married. All I've given her is a hug. Sex is not going to happen as long as i'm married. Nothing good would come of that and she'd prolly find a way to destroy my life to get me back. On a scale of 1-10 when it came to sex, she was pretty fawking good.

 

My wifey knows I still talk to her and it pisses her off. We were friends on FB up until this past week. She's a teacher and one of those types who send inspirational posts. Mostly religous or the stories about those who've overcome obstacles that made their lives bettr.I hate people post that sh!t so I responded. She posted one about Katherine Hepburn and how she overcame some parkinsons. I wrote 'How cool must it have been to be able masturbate shaking that bad?" I got a very angry text an hour later. Apparently she has a lot of old woman friends, teachers, moms and aunts friends, and feminists who replied that was the sickest thing they've ever read. Sometimes I forget how to turn the Geek Club off.

 

As bad as that was (she told me I fawked up bad with that post and to have a nice life) a few months from know I'll get a text.

[jerryskids 5,206]

I stay in contact with one. We were each others first love. I ended it after a few years when I realized the relationship was based on everything about her. Typical selfish b!tch. As she got older she realized it and tells me it was the biggest mistake of her life to let me go. It was one of the best decision I ever made. She hasn't changed much. It's pretty selfish on her part to keep in contact with me even though I'm married.

 

She texts me just about every other week. Calls every few months. I'll get drunk and call her if I'm in the mood to talk. Sometimes it's just to be mean and remind of her how much of a selfish ###### she is. Sometimes it's to tell her I miss her. She also sends me sexts. No pictures. Just texts to tell me how badly she wants to do me just one more time.

 

I have only seen her a handful of times since I got married. All I've given her is a hug. Sex is not going to happen as long as i'm married. Nothing good would come of that and she'd prolly find a way to destroy my life to get me back. On a scale of 1-10 when it came to sex, she was pretty fawking good.

 

My wifey knows I still talk to her and it pisses her off. We were friends on FB up until this past week. She's a teacher and one of those types who send inspirational posts. Mostly religous or the stories about those who've overcome obstacles that made their lives bettr.I hate people post that sh!t so I responded. She posted one about Katherine Hepburn and how she overcame some parkinsons. I wrote 'How cool must it have been to be able masturbate shaking that bad?" I got a very angry text an hour later. Apparently she has a lot of old woman friends, teachers, moms and aunts friends, and feminists who replied that was the sickest thing they've ever read. Sometimes I forget how to turn the Geek Club off.

 

As bad as that was (she told me I fawked up bad with that post and to have a nice life) a few months from know I'll get a text.

I was going to tell you that you are dumb for keeping in contact like that, but that Parkinson post was too

[cyclone24 1,814]

I stay in contact with one. We were each others first love. I ended it after a few years when I realized the relationship was based on everything about her. Typical selfish b!tch. As she got older she realized it and tells me it was the biggest mistake of her life to let me go. It was one of the best decision I ever made. She hasn't changed much. It's pretty selfish on her part to keep in contact with me even though I'm married.

 

She texts me just about every other week. Calls every few months. I'll get drunk and call her if I'm in the mood to talk. Sometimes it's just to be mean and remind of her how much of a selfish ###### she is. Sometimes it's to tell her I miss her. She also sends me sexts. No pictures. Just texts to tell me how badly she wants to do me just one more time.

 

I have only seen her a handful of times since I got married. All I've given her is a hug. Sex is not going to happen as long as i'm married. Nothing good would come of that and she'd prolly find a way to destroy my life to get me back. On a scale of 1-10 when it came to sex, she was pretty fawking good.

 

My wifey knows I still talk to her and it pisses her off. We were friends on FB up until this past week. She's a teacher and one of those types who send inspirational posts. Mostly religous or the stories about those who've overcome obstacles that made their lives bettr.I hate people post that sh!t so I responded. She posted one about Katherine Hepburn and how she overcame some parkinsons. I wrote 'How cool must it have been to be able masturbate shaking that bad?" I got a very angry text an hour later. Apparently she has a lot of old woman friends, teachers, moms and aunts friends, and feminists who replied that was the sickest thing they've ever read. Sometimes I forget how to turn the Geek Club off.

 

As bad as that was (she told me I fawked up bad with that post and to have a nice life) a few months from know I'll get a text.

 

 

Playing with fire my man.........just assume shes keeping everything you send.

[BunnysBastatrds 1,916]

 

 

Playing with fire my man.........just assume shes keeping everything you send.

 

 

 

Playing with fire my man.........just assume shes keeping everything you send.

 

 

I know. I found out a few months ago she told a friend of ours that we had sex a few years ago. That friend is in the middle of a nasty divorce settlement in which I am good friends with him and she is good friends with the wife. We introduced them. When I confronted her about it she denied it and said she never told anybody that. I knew she was lying before she opened her mouth.

 

I'm hoping the FB comment will keep her away for awhile.

[MDC 5,891]

I have one ex from many years ago who I dated for years in my 20s. She would get in touch over some excuse or another every few years.

 

Back in 2005 while married and with 2 kids she are down to the city and wanted to meet for a drink. I was single at the time and she ended up giving me a beejer. Not my proudest moment but I was at least single at the time.

 

Haven't seen her since but maybe 2-3 times over the past 9 years she would throw some feeler out. Last time I told her I had been married for 5 years, sent her a pic of my son and said I love my wife and and boy more than anything.

 

I doubt I will ever hear from her again.

[vuduchile 1,941]

I've never been involved with someone and have it end in friendship of any kind.

 

That probably says a lot more about me than the women I've been with, but there have always been hard feelings on one side or the other. Not to say that every break up was a Jerry Springer episode, but once it was over, either she or I was pissed off enough to dis-associate completely.

[TimmySmith 2,782]

In a similar story to MDC, a former GF, who was at the time dating the next guy after me (her future husband), called me up and I went out for one reason. After our meeting she asked me back to her place I told I would meet her there. Halfway there, I said to myself "WTF are you doing" and turned around and never looked back. Would have been a great time, but not really worth it in the long run.

[nzoner 936]

 

 

Playing with fire my man.........just assume shes keeping everything you send.

Crazy b!tch be putting "bunny" in the pot.

[IGotWorms 3,315]

She's a teacher and one of those types who send inspirational posts. Mostly religous or the stories about those who've overcome obstacles that made their lives bettr.I hate people post that sh!t so I responded. She posted one about Katherine Hepburn and how she overcame some parkinsons. I wrote 'How cool must it have been to be able masturbate shaking that bad?" I got a very angry text an hour later. Apparently she has a lot of old woman friends, teachers, moms and aunts friends, and feminists who replied that was the sickest thing they've ever read. Sometimes I forget how to turn the Geek Club off.

Just when I thought you couldn't possibly be any dumber, you go and do something like this

 

... and totally redeem yourself!

[DankNuggs 305]

No grudges, no seconds chances, no contact.... Works well for me.

 

I don't do facebook, and I don't respond to the texts...

[Frank M 181]

I had one who I was in contact with a few times over the years. Last year she pushed it a little bit and I told her to stop contacting me. The next week I got a package containing all the notes I ever wrote her in junior high and high school that she had kept for 35 years. Glad I pushed that one away.

 

My girlfriend from college is on Facebook, but she denied my friend request.

 

[titans&bucs&bearsohmy! 2,745]

I see my ex fiance occasionally. I am probably about to have an ex wife... She says we'll still be friends, I don't think so.

[jerryskids 5,206]

I see my ex fiance occasionally. I am probably about to have an ex wife... She says we'll still be friends, I don't think so.

Sorry to hear man. Well, sorry for you because I know you worked so hard at the relationship. You should start a new thread and tell us what is going on.

[Voltaire 4,559]

. I wrote 'How cool must it have been to be able masturbate shaking that bad?

He did it again. It's why I love this guy

[cbfalcon 824]

Off the top of my head, I am still somewhat in contact with every girl I have slept with more than once. Some are just Facebook friends, and others actually text me every so often.

 

Why? Because I can read people. And if a girl was psycho or dramatic, I don't bother coming back for a second bang. Plus, I treat people well, am pretty honest with them, and therefore have always been able to end things in a smooth enough way that there was never any long lasting hatred.

 

In other words, I am the best. And you all clearly suck.

[BunnysBastatrds 1,916]

Off the top of my head, I am still somewhat in contact with every girl I have slept with more than once. Some are just Facebook friends, and others actually text me every so often.

 

Why? Because I can read people. And if a girl was psycho or dramatic, I don't bother coming back for a second bang. Plus, I treat people well, am pretty honest with them, and therefore have always been able to end things in a smooth enough way that there was never any long lasting hatred.

 

In other words, I am the best. And you all clearly suck.

You are a player. No denying that fact. Your game, from everything I've read, is top notch. But, that comes with a price. I guranfawkingtee your reputation as a player is known in certain circles. You can't be a player without the fallout. If you do, more power to you brother. But I've yet to meet one player that can escape our outrun the hit that also defines his rankings. So to speak.

[kilroy69 994]

I have a few girls that I used to date/fock on my facebook account. They ended on good terms and the girls are really nice girls we just did not fit at the time. There are far more that I cut out of my life as soon as we split. Besides I have all the naked pics of them that I want.....hahahaha

[cbfalcon 824]

You are a player. No denying that fact. Your game, from everything I've read, is top notch. But, that comes with a price. I guranfawkingtee your reputation as a player is known in certain circles. You can't be a player without the fallout. If you do, more power to you brother. But I've yet to meet one player that can escape our outrun the hit that also defines his rankings. So to speak.

My player phase really only goes back a year though. And all of these relationships are still too recent to know if I'll maintain contact.

 

But going back to even my pre-marriage days (married in 2005), I am still in contact or Facebook friends with almost everyone I slept with multiple times. I think it just comes from avoiding dramatic biatches, being a stand up guy (for the most part), and knowing how to end things in a relatively smooth manner. I suppose maybe the skill set that allows me to be a player now helped me with those things back then.

[BunnysBastatrds 1,916]

My player phase really only goes back a year though. And all of these relationships are still too recent to know if I'll maintain contact.

 

But going back to even my pre-marriage days (married in 2005), I am still in contact or Facebook friends with almost everyone I slept with multiple times. I think it just comes from not avoiding dramatic biatches, being a stand up guy (for the most part), and knowing how to end things in a relatively smooth manner. I suppose maybe the skill set that allows me to be a player now helped me with those things back then.

If so, I bow down with respect and admiration. I've yet to come in contact with any that understand the ins and outs of who we were.

 

Most complain about what they had and who'll they'll be.

 

Again, your game is good. Wanna playa some golf?

[IGotWorms 3,315]

Off the top of my head, I am still somewhat in contact with every girl I have slept with more than once. Some are just Facebook friends, and others actually text me every so often.

 

Why? Because I can read people. And if a girl was psycho or dramatic, I don't bother coming back for a second bang. Plus, I treat people well, am pretty honest with them, and therefore have always been able to end things in a smooth enough way that there was never any long lasting hatred.

 

In other words, I am the best. And you all clearly suck.

And what about if/when you ever get back in a serious relationship with some lucky lady? You going to keep in contact with your fock buddies then? Cuz I can tell you right now, that won't end well

[OldMaid 1,838]

I see my ex fiance occasionally. I am probably about to have an ex wife... She says we'll still be friends, I don't think so.

Condolences, TBBOM... If it means anything, I've always thought of you as one of the good ones.

[IGotWorms 3,315]

Sorry to hear man. Well, sorry for you because I know you worked so hard at the relationship. You should start a new thread and tell us what is going on.

Well said, TBBOM has certainly put a ton of work in. Sorry to hear it's coming to this but it ain't for lack of trying on his part

[cbfalcon 824]

And what about if/when you ever get back in a serious relationship with some lucky lady? You going to keep in contact with your fock buddies then? Cuz I can tell you right now, that won't end well

While I was married, I was still in contact with previous girls. And my wife was ok with it. And it wasn't some disrespectful thing where I was imposing my will on an unhappy wife either. It's not like I was meeting them alone for drinks or trading texts all day, but communication on occasion was had.

 

My philosophy on this is simple. Let's take my girlfriend from ages 18-20 for example. The odds are very strong that in my entire life there won't be 5 people that I'm ever as close to as I was with her for those two years. So why would I want to throw away all connections to someone like that?

 

Now the key is obviously not having exes that are dramatic naerdowells. And likewise, any current gf has to be of sound enough mind to see the logic in this thinking.

 

And in fairness, I am only speaking of exes or people I had a pseudo dating relationship with. I didn't have a history of pure fuuck buddies. So some of this could change.

[peenie 1,690]

one is rich, he gives me money.

 

(actually, i finally woke up to the fact that the money was just a way to get other things so i ended that so called friendship)

[Reality 2,710]

one is rich, he gives me money.

 

(actually, i finally woke up to the fact that the money was just a way to get other things so i ended that so called friendship)

 

Why? Everybody wins...

 

[KSB2424 3,083]

Obviously not every person is the same nor is every relationship. However in general its a bad idea. The cost or the con's heavily outweigh any benifit or pro that can come of it.

 

Before I was married and dating, my philosophy was: "You can't fully open the door in front of you until you close the one behind you." In other words you'll never truely know if the person in your current relationship is the "the one" or is maximized if you are still holding on to the past.

[cyclone24 1,814]

And what about if/when you ever get back in a serious relationship with some lucky lady? You going to keep in contact with your fock buddies then? Cuz I can tell you right now, that won't end well

 

 

He will know its true love when he starts wearing condoms with the other skanks hes banging.

[cbfalcon 824]

Obviously not every person is the same nor is every relationship. However in general its a bad idea. The cost or the con's heavily outweigh any benifit or pro that can come of it.

 

Before I was married and dating, my philosophy was: "You can't fully open the door in front of you until you close the one behind you." In other words you'll never truely know if the person in your current relationship is the "the one" or is maximized if you are still holding on to the past.

 

I'll agree with this. You can't fully open one door without closing the prior, but maintaining contact with an ex doesn't mean you haven't closed that door. I may still care for those girls, but those feelings aren't romantic in nature. And in the interest of accuracy, it's not as if I never lost contact with any of them for any amount of time before reconnecting.

 

In general, I can get away with it because: I am very self aware, and I am good at figuring out what a girl is about reasonably early on. And when I don't care for what she seems to be about, I have always had the discipline to walk away from chick drama before it starts............. Most people lack self awareness, lack the ability to see the big picture, and will make dumb decisions because they let their diick override their brains. For that majority, they probably shouldn't stay in contact with their exes.

[IGotWorms 3,315]

one is rich, he gives me money.

 

(actually, i finally woke up to the fact that the money was just a way to get other things so i ended that so called friendship)

So basically, if I'm understanding this correctly, you were literally a wh0re?

 

 

 

 

I've got a fitty spot that's just burning a hole in my pocket