I have had a girlfriend for over a month now....UPDATED!

[Artista 460]

Now see, this mother focker right here knows how to build some suspense.

 

I have a feeling I know who I will be passing the GOTY baton to come December.

[titans&bucs&bearsohmy! 2,745]

Artista, you finish kicking that Cancers ass and I will hand deliver a GOTY tiara to you personally. :thumbs up:

[shotsup 832]

Artista, you finish kicking that Cancers ass and I will hand deliver a GOTY tiara to you personally. :thumbup:

 

 

[fandandy 3,311]

 

TWICE!

but she has no feeling from the waist down... she has no idea it happened!

Prolly not the first time a Geek has heard Tell me when it's in.

[MDC 5,891]

 

She would be horrified if I even suggested some shtt like that, lol.

How bout Krug from House by the Edge of the Park?

[gocolts 300]

How bout Krug from House by the Edge of the Park?

LOL. Nope, that dude played a good bad guy though, looked like a freak.

[Chronic Husker 85]

It's clear you need to impregnate her before she finds:

 

1 Your video collection

2 The political sites you frequent

3 fftoday

[gocolts 300]

It's clear you need to impregnate her before she finds:

 

1 Your video collection

2 The political sites you frequent

3 fftoday

She can not get pregnant.

[Hardcore troubadour 12,648]

She can not get pregnant.

Tell her she has a great ass, even if she doesn't. Women don't know what their ass looks like, and they are obsessed with what it looks like. No one gets a real good look at their ass. You tell her it's outstanding. Trust me. Anyone can say eyes. They know what they look like. Ass. I'm telling you

[gocolts 300]

Tell her she has a great ass, even if she doesn't. Women don't know what their ass looks like, and they are obsessed with what it looks like. No one gets a real good look at their ass. You tell her it's outstanding. Trust me. Anyone can say eyes. They know what they look like. Ass. I'm telling you

 

Absolutely.

[shotsup 832]

She can not get pregnant.

Awesome. Hope that doesn't mean she used to be a dude.

 

Blow loads all over the place.

[gocolts 300]

Awesome. Hope that doesn't mean she used to be a dude.

 

Blow loads all over the place.

HAHA. Nope. I KNOW she was never a dude. You see, I met her in kindergarten.

[frank 2,145]

HAHA. Nope. I KNOW she was never a dude. You see, I met her in kindergarten.

Recently?

[gocolts 300]

Another BIG day tomorrow. My son is going to meet my girlfriend's daughter tomorrow night.

 

Here is what we have planned.

 

We are going to Lynette's. My son is a computer genius, so he is going to fix her daughter's PC.

 

We are also having a pizza party. Making pizzas for all four of us and going to watch a movie.

 

My son turns 17 this weekend.

 

My girl is also making my son a homemade chocolate cookie, one of those great big ones the size of a pizza.

 

Plus, I am ordering his Birthday present down there tomorrow. It is a focking 200 dollar video card. My girl has Amazon prime, so we get two day shipping on it for free.

[gocolts 300]

Recently?

LOL, nope. Almost 40 years ago.

[vuduchile 1,941]

Another BIG day tomorrow. My son is going to meet my girlfriend's daughter tomorrow night.

 

Here is what we have planned.

 

We are going to Lynette's. My son is a computer genius, so he is going to fix her daughter's PC.

 

We are also having a pizza party. Making pizzas for all four of us and going to watch a movie.

 

My son turns 17 this weekend.

 

My girl is also making my son a homemade chocolate cookie, one of those great big ones the size of a pizza.

 

Plus, I am ordering his Birthday present down there tomorrow. It is a focking 200 dollar video card. My girl has Amazon prime, so we get two day shipping on it for free.

 

Any chance your son will get a b-day hummer from the daughter?

[kutulu 1,545]

The only Lynette I ever knew was a bi polar slut

[IGotWorms 3,315]

The only Lynette I ever knew was a bi polar slut

She must've been a hell of a fock

[kutulu 1,545]

She must've been a hell of a fock

I'm actually one of the few in my group of friends who didn't bang her although my balls were in her face one time, banging someone else

[gocolts 300]

Well, the night went pretty great. We ended up watching that Deadpool movie. So I was able to horrify everyone by telling them this place has been doing that thing for years. lol

 

My son is spending the night with his mother tomorrow night for the first since I was awarded full custody when he was 10. He will be 17 in 3 days. Typing that out made me realize just how big that is, wow. Almost 7 focking years since he has spent more than a couple of hours with his mom. Holy fock.

 

We have been trying to make this happen since focking last year. Something always comes up or happens to fock it up.

 

 

 

 

[gocolts 300]

Tomorrow night will be another first for us if everything goes according to plan.

 

Since my son is spending the night with his mom, I do not have to go home. My girlfriend only lives about 5 minutes from my ex wife, which is where my son will be spending the night.

 

Well, when my girlfriend called me tonight, she said I can spend the night tomorrow night and just go pick up my son the next day when he is ready to go home.

 

Should be a fun too. Not for sex though, unfortunately. However, her 18 month old grandson will be spending the night. I have already met him twice and he really likes me and we have a lot of fun together. Tomorrow night will be awesome. It has been so long since I have done anything like this, I can't wait. I like kids and am looking forward to reliving some memories of when my son was that age.

 

[JTB 52]

Tomorrow night will be another first for us if everything goes according to plan.

 

Since my son is spending the night with his mom, I do not have to go home. My girlfriend only lives about 5 minutes from my ex wife, which is where my son will be spending the night.

 

Well, when my girlfriend called me tonight, she said I can spend the night tomorrow night and just go pick up my son the next day when he is ready to go home.

 

Should be a fun too. Not for sex though, unfortunately. However, her 18 month old grandson will be spending the night. I have already met him twice and he really likes me and we have a lot of fun together. Tomorrow night will be awesome. It has been so long since I have done anything like this, I can't wait. I like kids and am looking forward to reliving some memories of when my son was that age.

 

Here is a Man who is enjoying the simple things I tend to overlook at times.

 

Carry on making new memories along the way Gary. Carry on my man......

[shotsup 832]

Here is a Man who is enjoying the simple things I tend to overlook at times.

 

Carry on making new memories along the way Gary. Carry on my man......

Well said

[TD Ryan2 314]

Well, when my girlfriend called me tonight, she said come on over, there's nobody home... so I went over... and there was nobody home

 

[NorthernVike 2,080]

Fock her already!

[BunnysBastatrds 1,916]

HAHA. Nope. I KNOW she was never a dude. You see, I met her in kindergarten.

Blow Elmer's glue all over the place.

[gocolts 300]

Fock her already!

Alright guys, I am going to finally spill it.

 

 

We have tried to have sex several times. I am struggling in the bedroom. Can not get a full erection, can not get hard enough to even put it in her tight pvssy, because I have tried three times and it will not go in semi-hard. She is very tight. I can barely get my freaking finger in there. Hell, my hole hand would slip in my ex wife, no focking way I could do that with my new girl, way too tight.

 

I am almost certain it is anxiety. I have not had sex in almost ten years. She knows all about it and has been very understanding of my problem. I really have found an amazing woman.

 

Things did get better last night though. Like I said, I spent the night and shared a bed with a woman for the first time in 10 years. Best sleep I have had in years too.

 

At one point last night, we started making out. She started to play with my cack. I FINALLY got a full erection. In fact, she jacked me better than I can myself somehow. She jacked me off to completion. No woman has EVER been able to do that with me.

 

So, I may finally get to have sex soon.

[titans&bucs&bearsohmy! 2,745]

Alright guys, I am going to finally spill it.

 

 

We have tried to have sex several times. I am struggling in the bedroom. Can not get a full erection, can not get hard enough to even put it in her tight pvssy, because I have tried three times and it will not go in semi-hard. She is very tight. I can barely get my freaking finger in there. Hell, my hole hand would slip in my ex wife, no focking way I could do that with my new girl, way too tight.

 

I am almost certain it is anxiety. I have not had sex in almost ten years. She knows all about it and has been very understanding of my problem. I really have found an amazing woman.

 

Things did get better last night though. Like I said, I spent the night and shared a bed with a woman for the first time in 10 years. Best sleep I have had in years too.

 

At one point last night, we started making out. She started to play with my cack. I FINALLY got a full erection. In fact, she jacked me better than I can myself somehow. She jacked me off to completion. No woman has EVER been able to do that with me.

 

So, I may finally get to have sex soon.

Dude, it happens. Get you a little blue pill until you get your mojo back.

 

Wish I could send you some of the Chinese knockoff kind, they are cheap.

[rholio 339]

You have found an amazing woman, agreed. Play, suck, lick, nibble, give her the time of her life... the rest will happen when it happens.

[gocolts 300]

Dude, it happens. Get you a little blue pill until you get your mojo back.

 

Wish I could send you some of the Chinese knockoff kind, they are cheap.

I did have my doctor give a prescription for it. I asked for just three pills since my insurance will NOT cover it. 168 bucks for three pills. No focking way in hell I can pull that off.

 

I am really hoping that last night helped me get over the hump so to speak.

[MDC 5,891]

When you know you guys are going to do it that night, jerk yourself off almost entirely to the point of ejac a couple times that afternoon. That night you should be able to blow instantly.

 

Either that or close your eyes and imagine the tunnel scene from Irreversible you sick focker.

[gocolts 300]

You have found an amazing woman, agreed. Play, suck, lick, nibble, give her the time of her life... the rest will happen when it happens.

 

 

I have done that plenty. She has awesome bewbs and have sucked on them so much, my mouth is sore the next day. I have even gotten her off a few times with just playing with those bewbs and fingering her.

[gocolts 300]

When you know you guys are going to do it that night, jerk yourself off almost entirely to the point of ejac a couple times that afternoon. That night you should be able to blow instantly.

 

Either that or close your eyes and imagine the tunnel scene from Irreversible you sick focker.

LMAO. I actually looked that scene up one night trying to see if I could hard again. I really freaked out for a few weeks thinking my d1ck will no longer work.

[titans&bucs&bearsohmy! 2,745]

LMAO. I actually looked that scene up one night trying to see if I could hard again. I really freaked out for a few weeks thinking my d1ck will no longer work.

That's the b!tch. When that happens, it's all you can think about. But worrying about it guarantees that it ain't gonna work.

 

You'll get over the jitters my friend.

[gocolts 300]

That's the b!tch. When that happens, it's all you can think about. But worrying about it guarantees that it ain't gonna work.

 

You'll get over the jitters my friend.

 

THANKS bro. I sure hope so.

[Frank M 181]

What about the bj? That would help.

 

You gotta make sure you scrub the sherriff's badge really well first, though. Nothing ensures that she won't swallow the sword more than a stinky ass.

[Hardcore troubadour 12,648]

Sherriffs badge? I call it the Star of David.

[gocolts 300]

What about the bj? That would help.

 

You gotta make sure you scrub the sherriff's badge really well first, though. Nothing ensures that she won't swallow the sword more than a stinky ass.

That is my next idea. I am going to suggest this soon. A BJ to completion might help me.

 

I am just glad I finally got off. Been coming home with blue balls for 2 freaking months.

[gocolts 300]

What about the bj? That would help.

 

You gotta make sure you scrub the sherriff's badge really well first, though. Nothing ensures that she won't swallow the sword more than a stinky ass.

Also, THANKS Frank. You see, since you posted this, when I bring it up, I can now say it was YOUR idea or suggestion to help me/us out. I have already told her I was going to the forum for help on this, so thanks bro.

[Strike 3,975]

That is my next idea. I am going to suggest this soon. A BJ to completion might help me.

 

I am just glad I finally got off. Been coming home with blue balls for 2 freaking months.

 

Didn't your parents ever teach you how to masturbate when you were growing up?