Best friend wants to borrow 10K

[The Moz 69]

Fock ... I hate this situation. He has been my best friend pretty much the last 10 years and recently he had a loan called on him. A few years ago he borrowed 40K from his Brother inlaw ( he gave it to him becasue he was being forclosed on ) - at the time he was also helping his brother in law - getting him a job, letting him stay at his home for alomst a year , food , etc. Bascially he took care of the guy . his wife and his two kids for over 8 months. Recently his brother in law is asking him for 10K of it becasue his Kid needs to go to the hospital ( his BIL was a total idiot and opted out of health insurance when he recent got his job to have extra money ). Now My friend is scrambling all around trying to come up with 10K by next Friday. He asked me but all the money I have is either in my Kids college funds or tied up in investments. Right now I have about 25K in my kids college fund that is liquid becasue - My parents just "donated" to them as a combined birthday present - I have another 20 invested ).

 

Question - Would you use 10K from that fund to bail your best friend out of a jam? - when you know he SUCKS with money and it's only 50/50 he actually would pay you back anytime soon. he would mean to and he is promising every which way that he will take out a loan and get it all to me in a few months - I know he believes this - Though knowing him as long as I have I know there will be an excuse waiting when a few months pass. Right now I am thinking abut just saying all my money is tied up an try and let him down easy - as IMO right now all this can do is wreck our friendship and me be out 10K.

 

thoughts

[Lumpy Tice 0]

I would tell him that your money is tied up right now....I couldn't give him that kinda coin.

[Dick Hertz 1]

Friends who want to remain friends should never loan eachother more than 20 bucks.

[davebg 0]

Let me see if I've got this straight.

 

Your buddy borrowed money from a family member, hasn't paid it back yet and now wants to borrow what he owes from you?

 

How long do you plan to give him until you call the loan? furthermore, does he have any other dumbass friends who he can hit up for the cash when you come a calling and he doesn't have it to pay you back?

 

ETA: A little story for y'all...

 

As I've mentioned previously, my dad is (in the words of Mrs. DaveBG) a "focking piece of sh|t." He's a thief and a liar, among other things.

 

So, two days before my sister's wedding I get a call from him. He wanted me to clear out my accounts (the ones that I hold with Mrs. DaveBG) to loan him the money to pay for my sister's wedding...without telling Mrs. DaveBG about it. I did it (after telling Mrs. DaveBG about it.) However, the only reason that I did it was because I knew that when he didn't pay me back at the end of the month as he promised, that I could collect from my sister and new bro-in-law, as they'd be flush w/wedding present cash. As you might expect, that is exactly what I had to do to get my money.

[crackattack 520]

No way. I dont think a true friend would even ask for that kind of cash.

 

 

eta: can I borrow 10grand

[BiPolarBear 485]

Don't give him a dime. You are basically asking if you should give TEN THOUSAND DOLLARS to a person you already know can't be trusted to pay it back. How stupid are you?

[mighty_thor 115]

I wouldn't loan him the money knowing he is bad with money. You have to look out for your family first. Just tell him you have no way to get money to loan him.

 

If circumstances were different and he had just run into some extraordinary bad luck. He lost his job and his insurance and needed an operation or his house burned down. then I might be willing to help. But this guy just sounds like he is dumb with money.

[NorthernVike 2,087]

No way in h3ll. I had a brother that needed a co-signer on a loan. Being the nice bro I am I agreed. He skipped the first focking payment. The bank called me and I paid off the focking thing before he could damage my credit. Why would you risk your children's education for this guy. I know he is your "friend" but in my view, friends don't put friends in this position.

[edjr 6,597]

if you lend him the money, you deserve to never see it again.

[Strike 5,555]

Given the circumstances and the fact that it's your kids college fund....No.

[wiffleball 4,790]

Look, the guy's your friend. You know this. It's a given.

 

Your kid on the other hand could be a total focking retard. Or run off to join the circus or fall in love with a guy in a rock band. Truth is, your friend will be there for you more than your kids. By the time they're 17 they'll call you every name in the book and be convinced you're the biggest ass hole they've ever met. They'll want you dead. They'll break every rule and take your ass for granted. They'll eat your food without a single "thank you" and then demand money in the next breath.

 

Your friend doesn't do any of that, does he?

 

Go with the given - not what might be.

[TheNewGirl 1,495]

Um, hell no.

 

If you DO loan it to him, you need to pretty much figure that you will NEVER be paid back. NEVER.

[kilroy69 1,251]

I have 2 friends and 2 brothers I would loan the cash without question. Both friends I have known for 20 years and know that if they are asking for it then they need it. As for my brothers whatever I have with the exception of my wife/gf my brothers can borrow without question as long as it does not drain me totally.

[wiffleball 4,790]

How about a compromise? Tell him you'd co-sign with him on a loan.

[Brad GLuckman 519]

Remember he is borrowing money from you, to pay a guy he will still owe $30k to. Now who gets paid first? You or his bro in law?

 

How are you going to set this up? Monthly payments? You going to hound him every month for the money he owes you? You think you will damage your friendship by not giving him the money? You will damage it much more by giving it to him. Cause then you are the ###### when you ask for it back.

 

Not to mention all the interest you would lose on that 10k once you pull it out and give it to him.

[heavy-set 39]

this sounds like a Ponzi scheme

 

anyways

 

 

people that need to borrow money, dont have money.

 

 

people that dont have money, dont pay debts, dont pay on time, or will piece you together.

 

and the pieces wont go back into your bank account, they will go to other things that you never would have bought if the 10k was still in your bank.

[heavy-set 39]

Fock ... I hate this situation. He has been my best friend pretty much the last 10 years and recently he had a loan called on him. A few years ago he borrowed 40K from his Brother inlaw ( he gave it to him becasue he was being forclosed on ) - at the time he was also helping his brother in law - getting him a job, letting him stay at his home for alomst a year , food , etc. Bascially he took care of the guy . his wife and his two kids for over 8 months. Recently his brother in law is asking him for 10K of it becasue his Kid needs to go to the hospital ( his BIL was a total idiot and opted out of health insurance when he recent got his job to have extra money ). Now My friend is scrambling all around trying to come up with 10K by next Friday. He asked me but all the money I have is either in my Kids college funds or tied up in investments. Right now I have about 25K in my kids college fund that is liquid becasue - My parents just "donated" to them as a combined birthday present - I have another 20 invested ).

 

Question - Would you use 10K from that fund to bail your best friend out of a jam? - when you know he SUCKS with money and it's only 50/50 he actually would pay you back anytime soon. he would mean to and he is promising every which way that he will take out a loan and get it all to me in a few months - I know he believes this - Though knowing him as long as I have I know there will be an excuse waiting when a few months pass. Right now I am thinking abut just saying all my money is tied up an try and let him down easy - as IMO right now all this can do is wreck our friendship and me be out 10K.

 

thoughts

 

tell him its invested and the market is down 20% and if you pull out it, with fewer shares, it will take 4ever to get it back

[TheNewGirl 1,495]

How about a compromise? Tell him you'd co-sign with him on a loan.

 

 

Because co-signing for someone who clearly has a problem paying back debt is a good thing? Might as well just give him the 10K, expect to never be paid back and move on...rather than put your own credit on the line - potentially rooning your wife's credit, eliminating the college funds entirely and focking up your credit report for the next 7 to 10 years.

[heavy-set 39]

Because co-signing for someone who clearly has a problem paying back debt is a good thing? Might as well just give him the 10K, expect to never be paid back and move on...rather than put your own credit on the line - potentially rooning your wife's credit, eliminating the college funds entirely and focking up your credit report for the next 7 to 10 years.

id rather give him the 10k than co-sign too

 

when you co-sign and he stiffs, bye bye credit score

[wiffleball 4,790]

Because co-signing for someone who clearly has a problem paying back debt is a good thing? Might as well just give him the 10K, expect to never be paid back and move on...rather than put your own credit on the line - potentially rooning your wife's credit, eliminating the college funds entirely and focking up your credit report for the next 7 to 10 years.

 

How exactly would it eliminate the college funds? - EITHER it would dent the funds (with Mommy and Daddy's money) OR it would wipe the credit - not both.

 

Pro's: Help out friend, keep his own money, friend would face bank's pressure.

 

Cons: Worst case scenario: May have to repay some of the loan in order to avoid credit issue. In which case, he's out less than the 10K that he'd pay out of his own pocket right now.

 

I'm not saying it's great, but it's a compromise suggestion. He shares risk with the bank rather than bearing it all on his own. He's not out cash initially - if at all. Besides, friend's probably less likely to default on bank than take advantage of Moz.

 

Sure Nancy, no risk if you do nothing. Brilliant. Think outside of your box to give him alternative suggestions beyond "yes" or "no".

[TheNewGirl 1,495]

How exactly would it eliminate the college funds? - EITHER it would dent the funds (with Mommy and Daddy's money) OR it would wipe the credit - not both.

 

Pro's: Help out friend, keep his own money, friend would face bank's pressure.

 

Cons: Worst case scenario: May have to repay some of the loan in order to avoid credit issue. In which case, he's out less than the 10K that he'd pay out of his own pocket right now.

 

I'm not saying it's great, but it's a compromise suggestion. He shares risk with the bank rather than bearing it all on his own. He's not out cash initially - if at all. Besides, friend's probably less likely to default on bank than take advantage of Moz.

 

Sure Nancy, no risk if you do nothing. Brilliant. Think outside of your box to give him alternative suggestions beyond "yes" or "no".

 

 

Co-signing and this dood focking up on the loan will affect Moz' credit. Credit report issues/delinquencies can take YEARS to recover from, not to mention if friend decides to be a ###### and start up some law suits. Money, and especially people who don't know how to control themselves with it can do some pretty focked up things, regardless of the friend ship that is put at risk.

 

I am not offering up any other suggestions because IMO, there are none. GIVE the money. Don't lend it. GIVE the money and if you want to keep the friendship, do NOT expect him to pay you back, EVER.

 

I NEVER lend more than $20 to family or friends. NEVER. Unless, you get him to sign a clear promissory note with clear instructions on payment dates, interest rates, and expected pay off date, and that if he fails to pay you back after XX date, you will take him to small claims. It's not worth the drama and the troubles to loan someone money...and $10K isn't like a couple hundred dollars. If you have that kind of cash to fling around, go for it. But dipping into a fund for your kids isn't fair to your kids, IMO.

[supermike80 1,921]

What are friends for.

Don't loan it..GIVE it to him and tell him that's what friends do for each other.

[Gepetto 1,368]

Loans are what banks are for. I can't believe he even asked you. Tell him your money is tied up in investments and for kid's college education. And it's not even a loan for him - it's a loan to pay part of a loan he already owes $40K on!!!!

[supermike80 1,921]

Moose!

Rocko!!

Help my relative find his checkbook will ya>?

[gocolts 300]

Look, the guy's your friend. You know this. It's a given.

 

Your kid on the other hand could be a total focking retard. Or run off to join the circus or fall in love with a guy in a rock band. Truth is, your friend will be there for you more than your kids. By the time they're 17 they'll call you every name in the book and be convinced you're the biggest ass hole they've ever met. They'll want you dead. They'll break every rule and take your ass for granted. They'll eat your food without a single "thank you" and then demand money in the next breath.

 

Your friend doesn't do any of that, does he?

 

Go with the given - not what might be.

WOW. Just Wow.

[The Moz 69]

Because co-signing for someone who clearly has a problem paying back debt is a good thing? Might as well just give him the 10K, expect to never be paid back and move on...rather than put your own credit on the line - potentially rooning your wife's credit, eliminating the college funds entirely and focking up your credit report for the next 7 to 10 years.

 

 

Actually I have around 50K total in the college fund ( 1/2 of it is tied up in investments / bonds - only reason the other half isn't is becasue I only recently got it an been to damn lazy to invest it yet ). You are correct though If I am to co-sign I am better off just loaning it to him myself.

 

What he is telling me is he is going to get a loan for the 10K and pay it back to me all at once in 2-3 months which as I said I really doubt - though I know he means it right now.

 

Now he is asking if I can vouch for him to ask my father for the money ( I already tried telling him the money is tied up that I have ) ... That just poses a new set of problems as yeah 10K isn't as much to him as most but if he didn't pay him back then I end up looking like sh!t to my old man amongst other things...

 

Just focking hard seeing a guy thats been like a brother to me since I have lived in Chicago walk around groveling with his tail between his legss. He has always been the first person to offer to help whenever sh!t happened in my life ( granted I never asked him for 10K ). Just feel like a total douche not giving him the money. Then on the same token I really starting to get pissed he would ask this.

 

 

What I am going to do is go to a few bank Execs I know at Northern Trust maybe they can help him with a 40K loan even if his credit is dogsh!t. Though I doubt they would help without me co-signing but it is worth a shot.

 

[The Moz 69]

WOW. Just Wow.

 

 

I know maybe all of us should start being a lot nicer to wiffleball

[hellothere 1]

if you do it... we need to become better friends how about i take you out for a beer and you buy me a car buddy!

[The Moz 69]

if you do it... we need to become better friends how about i take you out for a beer and you buy me a car buddy!

 

from you how could I resist

[Lumpy Tice 0]

dude...bring this to the Sanc, I'm pretty sure we can easily pull these funds together and you can take care of your frined.

 

[BMoney 0]

i bet he is using the $ to give to curly night

[IGotWorms 4,058]

Friends who want to remain friends should never loan eachother more than 20 bucks.

 

This was the correct answer.

 

And frankly I think it was sh!tty of your friend to even ask you for that money. It would be one thing if this were a one-time problem that he had, but from what you wrote this is definitely a pattern on his part. He was able to get money from other places but those dried up, so he is now turning to his friends. IMO, the guy probably has a problem and you would only be enabling him by loaning him that coin anyway.

[Cdub100 3,910]

Never loan money to friends or family.

 

If you do and want to stay friends never expect to see that money again.

[surferskin 30]

Just give me 5k and you'll save 50%.

[Jeff Garcia 8]

Friends who want to remain friends should never loan eachother more than 20 bucks.

Bingo! We have a winner!

[TheNewGirl 1,495]

Actually I have around 50K total in the college fund ( 1/2 of it is tied up in investments / bonds - only reason the other half isn't is becasue I only recently got it an been to damn lazy to invest it yet ). You are correct though If I am to co-sign I am better off just loaning it to him myself.

 

What he is telling me is he is going to get a loan for the 10K and pay it back to me all at once in 2-3 months which as I said I really doubt - though I know he means it right now.

 

Now he is asking if I can vouch for him to ask my father for the money ( I already tried telling him the money is tied up that I have ) ... That just poses a new set of problems as yeah 10K isn't as much to him as most but if he didn't pay him back then I end up looking like sh!t to my old man amongst other things...

 

Just focking hard seeing a guy thats been like a brother to me since I have lived in Chicago walk around groveling with his tail between his legss. He has always been the first person to offer to help whenever sh!t happened in my life ( granted I never asked him for 10K ). Just feel like a total douche not giving him the money. Then on the same token I really starting to get pissed he would ask this.

What I am going to do is go to a few bank Execs I know at Northern Trust maybe they can help him with a 40K loan even if his credit is dogsh!t. Though I doubt they would help without me co-signing but it is worth a shot.

 

 

Wait...now he's asking you to go to your DAD for the money? Yeah, I'd be getting a little pissed too.

 

[redtodd 7]

I haven't read anyone else's response, but I would say definitely no. Unless you want to stop bieng friends with him and the $10k price is worth losing him as a friend.

[Me_2006 14]

Ask yourself this:

 

 

 

would he loan the money to you in the EXACT situation was reversed knowing you were bad with cash and stuff? If so, he's too big an idiot and too irresponsible with money to even consider giving him 10k of your children's college funds.

[bjlmonster 0]

Did you ask your kids if it was okay to give your buddy 10K of their grandparents hard earned money?

 

Problem I have is that it seems he has not really attempted to pay his bil back yet, so it would be a donation, not a loan. I say don't do it and if you do, don't expect a return payment!

[shake_a_leg 0]

Whenever I give friends money I just assume I'll never see it again, even if the dude is responsible. I have a friend that has owed me $500 for 10 years now...I think I've asked about it 3 times.

 

Of course, I haven't talked to him in about 6 years...coincidence?