Why do sneezes literally give you 0 time before exploding?

[edjr 5,590]

mouth full of seeds.

 

sneeze and no time to use anything to cover my yapper

 

my desk looks like a war zone

[Fumbleweed 426]

Why do birds suddenly appear...

[posty 2,296]

Must be you because I can tell when I am going to sneeze...

[Cruzer 1,992]

I resist laughing in elevators for fear of the slip fart.

[drobeski 3,061]

Must be you because I can tell when I am going to sneeze...

this, there's at least 3 minor inhale burst before the sneeze occurs.

Someone is a look at me sneezer.

[patweisers44 701]

Easy on the thundersnow, Stuey Ungar. Your nostrils are basically the equivalent of (40-year porn industry veteran) Nina Hartley's or Octomom's vag.

[edjr 5,590]

Easy on the thundersnow, Stuey Ungar. Your nostrils are basically the equivalent of (40-year porn industry veteran) Nina Hartley's or Octomom's vag.

 

HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

[drobeski 3,061]

Do you spit the seeds all over the greens too ?

Bigger douchebaggery than smoking.

[edjr 5,590]

Do you spit the seeds all over the greens too ?

Bigger douchebaggery than smoking.

 

I don't seed when I golf, the few times I have, yes I put them all around the cup. i save them up to do so

[Djgb13 2,338]

How exactly does the posi-trac rear end of a Plymouth work?

[Mookz 1,287]

Anyone else sneeze when they walk out into the bright sun?

 

Or look at a lightbulb to help coax a sneeze out?

[edjr 5,590]

Anyone else sneeze when they walk out into the bright sun?

 

Or look at a lightbulb to help coax a sneeze out?

 

yup

 

when I'm on my like 5th or 6th sneeze in a row and the last one won't come out. look into the sun

[kutulu 1,552]

Threw my back out a couple years ago with a sneeze

[patweisers44 701]

Do you spit the seeds all over the greens too ?

Bigger douchebaggery than smoking.

I hate this more than anything anyone could do on a golf course.

[Filthy Fernadez 2,696]

Can you sneeze with your eyes open?

[edjr 5,590]

Can you sneeze with your eyes open?

 

 

 

[Filthy Fernadez 2,696]

Tbe older I get, the more sneezes are paired with farts.

[Thornton Melon 545]

It doesn't really happen now, but there was a period of time 10-15 years ago where every time I sneezed, my balls tingled. I kinda miss those days....

[edjr 5,590]

It doesn't really happen now, but there was a period of time 10-15 years ago where every time I sneezed, my balls tingled. I kinda miss those days....

 

the lower they drop, the worse life gets

[Mookz 1,287]

Can you sneeze with your eyes open?

 

Yes, but then it can be tough to go find them.

[Mookz 1,287]

 

yup

 

when I'm on my like 5th or 6th sneeze in a row and the last one won't come out. look into the sun

 

So then you have the same tumor.

[Djgb13 2,338]

 

So then you have the same tumor.

It's not a toomah!

[tanatastic 2,061]

I always race to get the food down when I feel a sneeze coming.

[Alias Detective 1,180]

Tbe older I get, the more sneezes are paired with sharts.

Eeewwwwwwww

[Big Guy 1,400]

I resist laughing in elevators for fear of the slip fart.

 

I fart in elevators to laugh.

[fandandy 3,311]

I can make myself sneeze by pinching the peak of my nose right where the cartilage begins.

[GobbleDog 822]

Has anyone else noticed the entire US population (including edjr) has started over-using the word "literally", not to mention using it in place of "figuratively" which is the EXACT opposite?

 

It's unnecessarily used for emphasis, but all it really does is drive me insane. Figuratively.

[Djgb13 2,338]

Has anyone else noticed the entire US population (including edjr) has started over-using the word "literally", not to mention using it in place of "figuratively" which is the EXACT opposite?

 

It's unnecessarily used for emphasis, but all it really does is drive me insane. Figuratively.

I have literally not noticed this

[tanatastic 2,061]

Has anyone else noticed the entire US population (including edjr) has started over-using the word "literally", not to mention using it in place of "figuratively" which is the EXACT opposite?

 

It's unnecessarily used for emphasis, but all it really does is drive me insane. Figuratively.

The word now means the exact opposite. When you are being Literal, you now just exclude any descriptive word from the context.

 

I literally had to take 5 trains to get here! (Took maybe 3)

 

I took 5 trains to get here. (I took exactly 5)

[drobeski 3,061]

Figuratively speaking, I literally have no idea what you're babbling about.

[GobbleDog 822]

The word now means the exact opposite. When you are being Literal, you now just exclude any descriptive word from the context.

 

I literally had to take 5 trains to get here! (Took maybe 3)

 

I took 5 trains to get here. (I took exactly 5)

"I literally couldn't eat another bite."

 

How are any of those sentenced changed with the use of 'literally'? What else does it convey - other than the person speaking is a moron? Not a damn thing - it's filler.

[WhiteWonder 2,182]

this, there's at least 3 minor inhale burst before the sneeze occurs.

Someone is a look at me sneezer.

[WhiteWonder 2,182]

"I literally couldn't eat another bite."

 

How are any of those sentenced changed with the use of 'literally'? What else does it convey - other than the person speaking is a moron? Not a damn thing - it's filler.

 

if i said i laughed so hard i cried, you might think i just laughed really hard but didn't actually shed tears. If i said i laughed so hard i was literally crying, i'm trying to drive home the point that my laughter actually induced tears.

 

 

but otherwise, i generally agree with the overuse of the word 'literally'.

[GobbleDog 822]

 

if i said i laughed so hard i cried, you might think i just laughed really hard but didn't actually shed tears. If i said i laughed so hard i was literally crying, i'm trying to drive home the point that my laughter actually induced tears.

 

20+ years ago I'd have agreed.

 

But now that it also means figuratively, I'd have no idea whether you cried or not. So, it conveys NOTHING in that sentence either. The word has lost all meaning.

[WhiteWonder 2,182]

 

20+ years ago I'd have agreed.

 

But now that it also means figuratively, I'd have no idea whether you cried or not. So, it conveys NOTHING in that sentence either. The word has lost all meaning.

 

I would argue it conveys that I actually cried due to my laughing but since you are jaded on the word it conveys NOTHING to YOU specifically. Which would be your issue, not the person using the word.

[GobbleDog 822]

 

since you are jaded on the word it conveys NOTHING to YOU specifically.

 

It conveys nothing to anyone using the current American lexicon - not just me.

 

"I literally cried", no longer means the person had tears. It could mean that, or it could mean he's trying to add emphasis and is just another dooshbag who's bastardizing the English language. Nobody knows.

[WhiteWonder 2,182]

 

It conveys nothing to anyone using the current American lexicon - not just me.

 

"I literally cried", no longer means the person had tears. It could mean that, or it could mean he's trying to add emphasis and is just another dooshbag who's bastardizing the English language. Nobody knows.

 

thats your opinion. there are many aspects of language that have been bastardized

[shorepatrol 1,738]

I can make myself sneeze by pinching the peak of my nose right where the cartilage begins.

I can do the same thing but with ejaculating

[Mookz 1,287]

I can do the same thing but with ejaculating

 

Wow, you have to be really careful putting on sunglasses.

[WhiteWonder 2,182]

 

Wow, you have to be really careful putting on sunglasses.