Geeks with sons …

[MDC 7,135]

At what age did have have the birds and bees talk?  

[edjr 6,578]

I listened to NWA in the car the other day on my son's 10th birthday.

Does that count?

[KSB2424 3,148]

The summer before they went to middle school (6th Grade). I think both had just turned 11. 

[seafoam1 2,803]

1 hour ago, MDC said:

At what age did have have the birds and bees talk?  

Did you or your boyfriend give the talk?

[edjr 6,578]

3 minutes ago, KSB2424 said:

The summer before they went to middle school (6th Grade). I think both had just turned 11. 

Was it awkward explaining to them why you got an erection when Tiger Woods was on TV?

[weepaws 3,157]

1 minute ago, seafoam1 said:

Did you or your boyfriend give the talk?

To fear the Lord is to Hate evil, I Hate pride and arrogance, evil behavior and perverse speech.  Proverbs 8:13.  

seafoam continues to say he’s a devoted catholic, I believe him, that’s what a catholic looks like.  

[MDC 7,135]

5 minutes ago, seafoam1 said:

Did you or your boyfriend give the talk?

It’s funny because you’re implying that I’m gay.  

[seafoam1 2,803]

1 hour ago, weepaws said:

To fear the Lord is to Hate evil, I Hate pride and arrogance, evil behavior and perverse speech.  Proverbs 8:13.  

seafoam continues to say he’s a devoted catholic, I believe him, that’s what a catholic looks like.  

The danger of self-righteousness

Matthew 6:23 tells us: “Seek ye first the Kingdom of God and HIS righteousness…”  Yes, God wants us to live a righteous life but not practice self-righteousness.

 

[seafoam1 2,803]

4 minutes ago, MDC said:

It’s funny because you’re implying that I’m gay.  

And you are trying to imply you're not. 

Don't be offended dude. If I had a 5'1" 350 pound wife like you do I might consider being gay too. 

[MTSkiBum 1,620]

One tip I read is to give the birds and the bees talk while you are driving in a car. That way you do not need to make eye contact and it puts a set amount of time on the talk.

 

[MDC 7,135]

5 minutes ago, seafoam1 said:

And you are trying to imply you're not. 

Don't be offended dude. If I had a 5'1" 350 pound wife like you do I might consider being gay too. 

You should consider taking a thread or 2 off per day and being more funny.  

[TommyGavin 790]

We just listened to Fat Bottom Girls and that was that. 

[seafoam1 2,803]

10 minutes ago, MDC said:

You should consider taking a thread or 2 off per day and being more funny.  

 

Poor sad old man. 

[Hardcore troubadour 14,950]

I’ll leave it up to the older kids. Like how it used to be. 

[MDC 7,135]

If you follow the older kids on Instagram you’ll know what kind of sex ed they’re likely to give your own children.  

 

 

[BunnysBastatrds 2,319]

My cool pops was dropping me and my good friend Rocket at the movies in the mall. This ugly woman steals his parking spot and went off. He had a few too many Jack & Waters that afternoon. While he’s screaming at “That ugly fawking broad” He pulls over and had the talk with me and Rocket.

 

 Cool Pops:Time for the talk boys. listen carefully. You two have pubic hairs growing out of chins and your voices sound like giggling girls playing hopscotch. Three fundamental rules 

1- Never go into battle without your helmet on

2- You will never go wrong with bigger girls

3- Masturbate beforehand so it will last longer when the time…uhmmm…comes Now go get ‘em. I thought one of you was light in loafers. Prove wrong.
 

 I have a daughter but insisted I have the talk with her because her mommy didn’t know how to.  Gave her the same advice. I still don’t want Shots boys anywhere near her.

[edjr 6,578]

1 hour ago, MTSkiBum said:

One tip I read is to give the birds and the bees talk while you are driving in a car. That way you do not need to make eye contact and it puts a set amount of time on the talk.

 

What if we are driving to Gramp's, which is 2 hours away?

[edjr 6,578]

13 minutes ago, BunnysBastatrds said:

My cool pops was dropping me and my good friend Rocket at the movies in the mall. This ugly woman steals his parking spot and went off. He had a few too many Jack & Waters that afternoon. While he’s screaming at “That ugly fawking broad” He pulls over and had the talk with me and Rocket.

 

 Cool Pops:Time for the talk boys. listen carefully. You two have pubic hairs growing out of chins and your voices sound like giggling girls playing hopscotch. Three fundamental rules 

1- Never go into battle without your helmet on

2- You will never go wrong with bigger girls

3- Masturbate beforehand so it will last longer when the time…uhmmm…comes Now go get ‘em. I thought one of you was light in loafers. Prove wrong.
 

 I have a daughter but insisted I have the talk with her because her mommy didn’t know how to.  Gave her the same advice. I still don’t want Shots boys anywhere near her.

This was my father's birds and the bees talk with me Verbatim.

"Keep it in your sneaker" 

[seafoam1 2,803]

1 hour ago, MDC said:

You should consider taking a thread or 2 off per day and being more funny.  

You should consider taking a year or two off of posting here 24x7x365 for the last 25 years.  

[Fnord 2,051]

1 hour ago, MTSkiBum said:

One tip I read is to give the birds and the bees talk while you are driving in a car. That way you do not need to make eye contact and it puts a set amount of time on the talk.

 

Great tip, had it pulled on me when I was that age. Was going to have the talk with my son earlier this summer but the trip got canceled.

[seafoam1 2,803]

It's funny how idiot's kids don't know how babies get created. 

By the time I was 5 I knew how it works. It's not that focking hard to understand. 

I bet your kids believe in santa until they're 13 years old. 

[RaiderHaters Revenge 4,241]

unfortunately when he was 9, when someone he was playing Roblox told him why dont you just go 69 her, he asked me what that meant

 

[MLCKAA 546]

3 hours ago, MDC said:

At what age did have have the birds and bees talk?  

12.  Some people told me this was too late, but 11 felt too early.

 I also incorporated addressing gays, trans, birth control and adultery in that convo.

[MDC 7,135]

5 minutes ago, seafoam1 said:

It's funny how idiot's kids don't know how babies get created. 

By the time I was 5 I knew how it works. It's not that focking hard to understand. 

I bet your kids believe in santa until they're 13 years old. 

That’s creepy. Explains your obsession with pedo stuff.  

[MDC 7,135]

2 minutes ago, MLCKAA said:

12.  Some people told me this was too late, but 11 felt too early.

 I also incorporated addressing gays, trans, birth control and adultery in that convo.

Good job dad.  

[MLCKAA 546]

1 minute ago, MDC said:

Good job dad.  

Masturbation was the toughest subject.  I had to tell him it was normal, all while fearing he’d ask if I do it!  Told him it is never to be discussed with other people and the only place to do it is behind a locked door and NEVER anywhere outside our home, lest he be discovered.

[seafoam1 2,803]

6 minutes ago, MDC said:

That’s creepy. Explains your obsession with pedo stuff.  

That makes no sense. You're trying too hard corky. 

[MDC 7,135]

2 minutes ago, seafoam1 said:

That makes no sense. You're trying too hard corky. 

That’s true: Even molesters wouldn’t touch Peefoam, no matter how hard he tried. 

 

[seafoam1 2,803]

1 minute ago, MDC said:

That’s true: Even molesters wouldn’t touch Peefoam, no matter how hard he tried. 

 

Comedy show response. 

Seriously, you should take a couple years off after your 25 years of posting garbage and taking up all your time.

Get a life loser.

[TommyGavin 790]

1 hour ago, BunnysBastatrds said:

 

 I still don’t want Shots boys anywhere near her.

They are good boys. When they are sober- That gene dropped multiple generations. 

[BunnysBastatrds 2,319]

4 minutes ago, TommyGavin said:

They are good boys. When they are sober- That gene dropped multiple generations. 

 I know. Just ribbing yous.When I saw and found out the gender in the sonogram room with ex-wifey and the Red Hot Chilly Peppers playing Californicatin on the radio, and we’re told, it’s a girl. I looked up at God and said out loud, “ You have a funny sense of humor. Thank you.” Top five memories of my life.And now she’s giving me a grandson named after my father, her PaPa that sh adored.

[TheNewGirl 1,353]

3 hours ago, MDC said:

At what age did have have the birds and bees talk?  

Oh man, I don't remember. He's 21 now...maybe around 10 or 11? 

[Reality 3,100]

Summer before middle school is probably too late but, I think it's still the proper answer.

[TheNewGirl 1,353]

3 minutes ago, Reality said:

Summer before middle school is probably too late but, I think it's still the proper answer.

Here middle school starts at 6th grade...sooo 11 or 12. Maybe even some 10 year olds in there depending on birthday (I was 10 in 6th grade for a bit). 

[TommyGavin 790]

3 minutes ago, BunnysBastatrds said:

 I know. Just ribbing yous.When I saw and found out the gender in the sonogram room with ex-wifey and the Red Hot Chilly Peppers playing Californicatin on the radio, and we’re told, it’s a girl. I looked up at God and said out loud, “ You have a funny sense of humor. Thank you.” Top five memories of my life.And now she’s giving me a grandson named after my father, her PaPa that sh adored.

I know it brother. All good. Younger one getting his first tattoo this week in honor of my step father - his pop pop. Sadly my boys never got to meet my dad. ( my first tattoo was in honor of my dad). 
 

Bunny is going to be a grandpa. Go figure. Awesome. 

[BunnysBastatrds 2,319]

2 hours ago, TommyGavin said:

I know it brother. All good. Younger one getting his first tattoo this week in honor of my step father - his pop pop. Sadly my boys never got to meet my dad. ( my first tattoo was in honor of my dad). 
 

Bunny is going to be a grandpa. Go figure. Awesome. 

 I never thought I’d have a baby girl and now a grandson from her. I’m in love with love and love for my daughter. Life is so amazing and short when you get older. 

[Ultra Max Power 214]

6 hours ago, MDC said:

At what age did have have the birds and bees talk?  

I've actually learned recently that calling it the birds and the bees talk is homophobic. You should be more sensitive in your posting. 

[frank 2,276]

6 hours ago, edjr said:

I listened to NWA in the car the other day on my son's 10th birthday.

Does that count?

So he learned life ain’t nothin’ but bitches and money? 

[jerryskids 6,573]

5 hours ago, MTSkiBum said:

One tip I read is to give the birds and the bees talk while you are driving in a car. That way you do not need to make eye contact and it puts a set amount of time on the talk.

 

Agreed with others, great tip.  A variation is to talk while tossing a football in the backyard (or other mindless physical activity) I've done this multiple times when my son was younger. Heck, I'd do it tomorrow if he had a serious problem.

[IGotWorms 4,057]

My eldest is nine and thus far the only talk we’ve had is that he shouldn’t lust after his older stepsisters, because we don’t live in the South.

I’m thinking next year for the full talk