I once wrote a 128-inch feature on prairie chickens for the Corpus Christi newspaper.
To give you an idea of how long that is, it would cover an entire newspaper page, not including headline and photos.
The prairie chickens were like the buffalo. People in the 1800s just slaughtered them for the hell of it, only prairie chickens need huge numbers to survive because they're stupid as fock and make their nests on the ground, making them vulnerable to everything. They're not good eating, unlike buffalo, so it was a meaningless prairie-chicken holocaust, which I'm sure Cdub would deny because he's into denying mass murders.
Anyhoo, I finished writing that prairie-chicken piece and moved it over for the city editor to read.
A few minutes later, he screamed: "A FOCKING 128-INCH STORY ON PRAIRIE CHICKENS?!!?!?!?!?!?"
I calmly walked over and said, "Just read it."
His eyes were glued to the screen as my story took him on an epic prairie-chicken journey.
After he got to the end, he said, "That's the best damned prairie-chicken story I've ever read."
Not only did every inch of it make the paper, skipping from page to page to page, it also in its entirety made the national AP wire.
I doubt any paper ran the whole thing, but by gawd I got a 128-inch prairie-chicken story on the motherfocking Associated Press wire.