My Shed Is Filled Wth Hundreds Of Black Widow Spiders

[BunnysBastatrds]

I hang out in my shed. It's my manly shed. It's now infested with black widow spiders and her nests. I hit one of the eggs with a broom and all hell brook loose. The mommmy was pissed and I flattened her ass. But the babies were all over me. I'm numb from head to toe and i can't see straight. I may be hallucinating. I may be dead tomorrow. I hate my broom and all of the wemens I swatted with red bumps on their thoraxes and sh!t! Fawk the humanity.

[kilroy69]

I hang out in my shed. It's my manly shed. It's now infested with black widow spiders and her nests. I hit one of the eggs with a broom and all hell brook loose. The mommmy was pissed and I flattened her ass. But the babies were all over me. I'm numb from head to toe and i can't see straight. I may be hallucinating. I may be dead tomorrow. I hate my broom and all of the wemens I swatted with red bumps on their thoraxes and sh!t! Fawk the humanity.

Any shot you could toss gfiap in there and lock it?

[IGotWorms]

Make sure you drink plenty of booze to dilute the poison.

[BunnysBastatrds]

Make sure you drink plenty of booze to dilute the poison.

 

 

I'm not kidding. There are hundreds of these little fawkers that hatched. I be scared sh!tless. They are everywhere.

[BunnysBastatrds]

Any shot you could toss gfiap in there and lock it?

 

 

A spade flush without the queen would be nice. I aint counting on that.

[Chronic Husker]

You wouldn't let a pregnant black widow suck your cack for a Heineken.

 

Now, the babies of a black widow are putting the hurt on your drunk ass.

 

Irony.

[shotsup]

You wouldn't let a pregnant black widow suck your cack for a Heineken.

 

Now, the babies of a black widow are putting the hurt on your drunk ass.

 

Irony.

 

[phillybear]

Is this a spoiler for Cabin In The Woods?

[hoytdwow]

bug bomb

[shovelheadt]

GB living in Indiana. Besides the occasional state fair stage collapse, very safe.

 

On a related note: watched a program about the Cardinals stadium. They have a crew who's job is located in the corridors under the moving field. They constantly have to lube and grease the mechanisms that allow the field to roll in and out of the stadium. Their number one complaint...black widows, scorpions and snakes that hide out in there to stay cool.

[Frank M]

I hang out in my shed. It's my manly shed. It's now infested with black widow spiders and her nests. I hit one of the eggs with a broom and all hell brook loose. The mommmy was pissed and I flattened her ass. But the babies were all over me. I'm numb from head to toe and i can't see straight. I may be hallucinating. I may be dead tomorrow. I hate my broom and all of the wemens I swatted with red bumps on their thoraxes and sh!t! Fawk the humanity.

 

 

Wait, you're still alive?

 

[OldMaid]

You wouldn't let a pregnant black widow suck your cack for a Heineken.

 

Now, the babies of a black widow are putting the hurt on your drunk ass.

 

Irony.

[jerryskids]

Update? Is he daid?

 

I feel your plight bunny. I'm not sure if you were around during my thread when I got stung by a scorpion. I'd have offed myself if any part of my body could actually have moved.

[Cruzer]

No doubt Greg Williams was behind this - those little fockers are all getting paid to kill you.

[DuckStupid]

burn it down

[The Pope]

I was told that someone here needed last rites.

 

[BunnysBastatrds]

You wouldn't let a pregnant black widow suck your cack for a Heineken.

 

Now, the babies of a black widow are putting the hurt on your drunk ass.

 

Irony.

 

 

 

I ended up getting bit by a couple of the babies on my arm and leg. I called Louisiana poison control and they told me to take a cold bath in epssom salt and wait and see if the bite marks get bigger. I also have this miracle medicine called ST37. It does wonders for scrapes, bruises, and bites. I'm going to live.

 

The guy at poison control could tell I was drunk. He was a redneck from Shreveport and had a thick drawl. Redneck PC: How did you come into contact with a black widow egg? Me: I was in my shed and noticed about twenty small cotton ball looking nests above a web I hadn't noticed before. Redneck PC: And you thought it would be a good a idea to knock em down and stomp on em didn't you? Do you know it's getting warmer outside? That means they were ready to hatch. You sure a lucky (he said lucky like he wanted to say stoopid) son. How much you had to drink tonight son? Me: I've got a few left from a twelve pack. What do I do now. I've got three cans of hornet spray left. Can I go in there all rambo style and take them all out? Those nests are right above the washer and dryer. The Mrs isn't going back in there untill I do something about those b!tches. Redneck PC: Put on some gloves and a long sleeve shirt. Go ahead and get yourself an umbrella if they are on the ceiling. You can use if for a shield in case the babies start falling on you. Hornrt spray will kill them but you gotta soak em. Wait a day or two and then knock em down with a broom and an umbrella. Me: Thank you sir. I'm going for it tomorrow night. Wish me luck. Redneck PC: OK then.

 

I googled black widow eggs. There can be up to four hundred babies per egg. Holy sh!t!

[OldMaid]

 

I ended up getting bit by a couple of the babies on my arm and leg. I called Louisiana poison control and they told me to take a cold bath in epssom salt and wait and see if the bite marks get bigger. I also have this miracle medicine called ST37. It does wonders for scrapes, bruises, and bites. I'm going to live.

 

The guy at poison control could tell I was drunk. He was a redneck from Shreveport and had a thick drawl. Redneck PC: How did you come into contact with a black widow egg? Me: I was in my shed and noticed about twenty small cotton ball looking nests above a web I hadn't noticed before. Redneck PC: And you thought it would be a good a idea to knock em down and stomp on em didn't you? Do you know it's getting warmer outside? That means they were ready to hatch. You sure a lucky (he said lucky like he wanted to say stoopid) son. How much you had to drink tonight son? Me: I've got a few left from a twelve pack. What do I do now. I've got three cans of hornet spray left. Can I go in there all rambo style and take them all out? Those nests are right above the washer and dryer. The Mrs isn't going back in there untill I do something about those b!tches. Redneck PC: Put on some gloves and a long sleeve shirt. Go ahead and get yourself an umbrella if they are on the ceiling. You can use if for a shield in case the babies start falling on you. Hornrt spray will kill them but you gotta soak em. Wait a day or two and then knock em down with a broom and an umbrella. Me: Thank you sir. I'm going for it tomorrow night. Wish me luck. Redneck PC: OK then.

 

I googled black widow eggs. There can be up to four hundred babies per egg. Holy sh!t!

I don't know why but this thread made me giggle.

 

Glad to hear you're ok.

[The Pope]

 

I ended up getting bit by a couple of the babies on my arm and leg. I called Louisiana poison control and they told me to take a cold bath in epssom salt and wait and see if the bite marks get bigger. I also have this miracle medicine called ST37. It does wonders for scrapes, bruises, and bites. I'm going to live.

 

The guy at poison control could tell I was drunk. He was a redneck from Shreveport and had a thick drawl. Redneck PC: How did you come into contact with a black widow egg? Me: I was in my shed and noticed about twenty small cotton ball looking nests above a web I hadn't noticed before. Redneck PC: And you thought it would be a good a idea to knock em down and stomp on em didn't you? Do you know it's getting warmer outside? That means they were ready to hatch. You sure a lucky (he said lucky like he wanted to say stoopid) son. How much you had to drink tonight son? Me: I've got a few left from a twelve pack. What do I do now. I've got three cans of hornet spray left. Can I go in there all rambo style and take them all out? Those nests are right above the washer and dryer. The Mrs isn't going back in there untill I do something about those b!tches. Redneck PC: Put on some gloves and a long sleeve shirt. Go ahead and get yourself an umbrella if they are on the ceiling. You can use if for a shield in case the babies start falling on you. Hornrt spray will kill them but you gotta soak em. Wait a day or two and then knock em down with a broom and an umbrella. Me: Thank you sir. I'm going for it tomorrow night. Wish me luck. Redneck PC: OK then.

 

I googled black widow eggs. There can be up to four hundred babies per egg. Holy sh!t!

 

You haven't found a book titled "The Handbook for the Recently Deceased" have you?

[phillybear]

The good news is that you are the spawn of Satan, so you have a claim to his throne. The bad news is that you get kicked in the head by a mule that makes you mentally retarded. Oh, and Hitler gets a pineapple shoved up his ass.

[The Pope]

The good news is that you are the spawn of Satan, so you have a claim to his throne. The bad news is that you get kicked in the head by a mule that makes you mentally retarded. Oh, and Hitler gets a pineapple shoved up his ass.

 

The most horrifying thing I've ever seen is Ron Howard's brother in that movie. Clint does NOT make a good drag queen.

[BunnysBastatrds]

Update

 

So i got fawked up and all is good. I emptied my shed and its contents. It took a few hours but I did what a good geek would. There were thousands of spiders and I was brave.. I have a shop-vac and they were toasted fawks. Put some hydraulic fluid in a can of spray and fawked them up. Mommy spiders were running scared and the babies were going after me. I won needless to say. they were drping like bats ######. I got bit a few times but who cares. I like numb.

[Voltaire]

I love a happy ending.

 

And props to you. It takes some balls to go back in there for more after you got your ass kicked in round one. Being safe and smarter about it with those tips from PC helped.

[BunnysBastatrds]

I love a happy ending.

 

And props to you. It takes some balls to go back in there for more after you got your ass kicked in round one. Being safe and smarter about it with those tips from PC helped.

 

 

yOU HAVE NO IDEA BROTHER!

[MDC]

The good news is that you are the spawn of Satan, so you have a claim to his throne. The bad news is that you get kicked in the head by a mule that makes you mentally retarded. Oh, and Hitler gets a pineapple shoved up his ass.

 

What if Bunny is already retarded? Does the mule kick make him not a redneck?

[OldMaid]

What if Bunny is already retarded? Does the mule kick make him not a redneck?

 

Bunny is not a redneck... at least not by Southern standards.

[SUXBNME]

 

Bunny is not a redneck... at least not by Southern standards.

He is pretty much retarded tho. by any standard

[southcarolina]

If i found that many black widows in my shed i would burn it to the ground, contents and all. I f*cking hate spiders,

 

 

 

*shudder*

[SUXBNME]

If i found that many black widows in my shed i would burn it to the ground, contents and all. I f*cking hate spiders,

 

 

 

*shudder*

You prolly wouldn't want to have a sleep over at my house in the summer

[Chronic Husker]

You prolly wouldn't want to have a sleep over at my house in the summer

Yeah, but that has nothing to do with spiders.

 

[BunnysBastatrds]

Yeah, but that has nothing to do with spiders.

 

 

 

Big older chicks with front butt and no cameras need love too.

[mmmmm...beer]

I'm going to go a head and say I enjoyed this thread Bunny. A for effort.

[BunnysBastatrds]

I'm going to go a head and say I enjoyed this thread Bunny. A for effort.

 

 

Can you please tell my wifey that the spiders are gone? She doesn't believe me. That would be super.

[mmmmm...beer]

Can you please tell my wifey that the spiders are gone? She doesn't believe me. That would be super.

 

Uhrmmm sure. I'll "convince" your wife the bad bad widdle spiders are gone Bunny. When you go to work buddy?

[BunnysBastatrds]

I'm going to go a head and say I enjoyed this thread Bunny. A for effort.

 

 

And an "A" for effort meant that many lives were lost in making this thread possible. My trash can and Shop-Vac bleed in your direction. I think!

[Thornton Melon]

 

I ended up getting bit by a couple of the babies on my arm and leg. I called Louisiana poison control and they told me to take a cold bath in epssom salt and wait and see if the bite marks get bigger. I also have this miracle medicine called ST37. It does wonders for scrapes, bruises, and bites. I'm going to live.

 

The guy at poison control could tell I was drunk. He was a redneck from Shreveport and had a thick drawl. Redneck PC: How did you come into contact with a black widow egg? Me: I was in my shed and noticed about twenty small cotton ball looking nests above a web I hadn't noticed before. Redneck PC: And you thought it would be a good a idea to knock em down and stomp on em didn't you? Do you know it's getting warmer outside? That means they were ready to hatch. You sure a lucky (he said lucky like he wanted to say stoopid) son. How much you had to drink tonight son? Me: I've got a few left from a twelve pack. What do I do now. I've got three cans of hornet spray left. Can I go in there all rambo style and take them all out? Those nests are right above the washer and dryer. The Mrs isn't going back in there untill I do something about those b!tches. Redneck PC: Put on some gloves and a long sleeve shirt. Go ahead and get yourself an umbrella if they are on the ceiling. You can use if for a shield in case the babies start falling on you. Hornrt spray will kill them but you gotta soak em. Wait a day or two and then knock em down with a broom and an umbrella. Me: Thank you sir. I'm going for it tomorrow night. Wish me luck. Redneck PC: OK then.

 

I googled black widow eggs. There can be up to four hundred babies per egg. Holy sh!t!

 

Wait, you have a washer and dryer in the shed? And you're calling him a redneck???

[BunnysBastatrds]

Wait, you have a washer and dryer in the shed? And you're calling him a redneck???

 

 

My hot water heater is in there too. What's your point Rodney?

 

 

 

If you really wanna fawk up the bugs, use carb cleaner. Their exo-skeleton can't take the carb cleaner route. x-14 I think is the best.

 

 

[Strike]

Please Peenie this thread. It's giving both me and my GF nightmares. Glad you lived through it though.

 

[titans&bucs&bearsohmy!]

My hot water heater is in there too. What's your point Rodney?

 

 

 

If you really wanna fawk up the bugs, use carb cleaner. Their exo-skeleton can't take the carb cleaner route. x-14 I think is the best.

 

I prefer the W-D40 and a barbecue match method myself. Incinerate those little fockers. Plus I figure being bitten by a burning spider might give me superpowers.

[The Pope]

I prefer the W-D40 and a barbecue match method myself. Incinerate those little fockers. Plus I figure being bitten by a burning spider might give me superpowers.

 

Worse Memorial Day Barbecue evah.