Papa Murphygate

[Rusty Syringes 478]

A friend gave us some really good homemade salsa, so I go the idea of making some kind of taco pizza out of it. Grocery stores only have small packaged crusts, and making crust at home is a pain in the poophole, so it seemed like a great idea to go get a crust from Papa Murphy.

The conversation there an hour ago went something like this:

Employee: Can I help you, sir?

Me: I'd like to buy just a family sized crust please.

Employee: 

Me: I'm making my own pizza at home and just need a good crust.

Employee: We can't do that.

Me: Why not?

Employee: We've never done that before.

Me: I imagine you'd never sold a pizza before until you took this job, so how hard would it be to hand me one of those crusts in the refrigerator there and charge me whatever?

Employee: We can't do that.

Me: You can't just sell me a crust without anything on it?

Employee: No, but we could sell you one with sauce and cheese on it. 

Me: OK, I'll take a cheese pizza, and please hold the sauce and cheese.  

Employee: We can't do that. 

Me: You have all kinds of specialty pizzas for which customers can request not putting on certain items. If I ordered the Herb Chicken Mediterranean, I could ask to hold the spinach, because maybe in my religion we believe spinach lives matter, and you'd do it, right?

Employee: Yes sir.

Me: But I can't pay full price for a cheese pizza and have you hold the cheese and sauce.

Employee: Correct, sir.

Me: Why not?

Employee: Because it's corporate policy.

Me: So somewhere in the company bylaws it says customers can't get a cheese pizza without cheese and sauce, and somehow you were trained about this policy?

Employee: Yes sir.

Me: Do you actually have the policy handy for me to read?

Employee: No sir.

Me: So I can buy raw cookie dough here but not a raw pizza crust and pay as if it were a full cheese pizza? 

Employee: Yes sir.

And with that I was out of there but managed to buy raw pizza dough at a local grocery store that also creates take-and-bake pizzas.

Ridiculous. 

 

 

[Patriotsfatboy1 1,432]

Did you offer to pay by check?

[Utilit99 4,099]

48 minutes ago, Rusty Syringes said:

A friend gave us some really good homemade salsa, so I go the idea of making some kind of taco pizza out of it. Grocery stores only have small packaged crusts, and making crust at home is a pain in the poophole, so it seemed like a great idea to go get a crust from Papa Murphy.

The conversation there an hour ago went something like this:

Employee: Can I help you, sir?

Me: I'd like to buy just a family sized crust please.

Employee: 

Me: I'm making my own pizza at home and just need a good crust.

Employee: We can't do that.

Me: Why not?

Employee: We've never done that before.

Me: I imagine you'd never sold a pizza before until you took this job, so how hard would it be to hand me one of those crusts in the refrigerator there and charge me whatever?

Employee: We can't do that.

Me: You can't just sell me a crust without anything on it?

Employee: No, but we could sell you one with sauce and cheese on it. 

Me: OK, I'll take a cheese pizza, and please hold the sauce and cheese.  

Employee: We can't do that. 

Me: You have all kinds of specialty pizzas for which customers can request not putting on certain items. If I ordered the Herb Chicken Mediterranean, I could ask to hold the spinach, because maybe in my religion we believe spinach lives matter, and you'd do it, right?

Employee: Yes sir.

Me: But I can't pay full price for a cheese pizza and have you hold the cheese and sauce.

Employee: Correct, sir.

Me: Why not?

Employee: Because it's corporate policy.

Me: So somewhere in the company bylaws it says customers can't get a cheese pizza without cheese and sauce, and somehow you were trained about this policy?

Employee: Yes sir.

Me: Do you actually have the policy handy for me to read?

Employee: No sir.

Me: So I can buy raw cookie dough here but not a raw pizza crust and pay as if it were a full cheese pizza? 

Employee: Yes sir.

And with that I was out of there but managed to buy raw pizza dough at a local grocery store that also creates take-and-bake pizzas.

Ridiculous. 

 

 

So you are a dipshlt in real life too. Go figure. 

[Rusty Syringes 478]

3 minutes ago, Patriotsfatboy1 said:

Did you offer to pay by check?

I've evolved into debit-card use, thank you very much.

[drobeski 3,061]

What an obnoxious douche bag. 

[NorthernVike 2,080]

  

[Hardcore troubadour 12,646]

Kid said no. It was policy.  Did you think you were actually going to talk him into it? And why would you? Getting your way is more important than that kid doing what he was told? 

[Strike 3,975]

This thread is so reminiscent of the "Today's call to the newsdesk" threads back in the day.

[Utilit99 4,099]

57 minutes ago, Rusty Syringes said:

A friend gave us some really good homemade salsa, so I go the idea of making some kind of taco pizza out of it. Grocery stores only have small packaged crusts, and making crust at home is a pain in the poophole, so it seemed like a great idea to go get a crust from Papa Murphy.

The conversation there an hour ago went something like this:

Employee: Can I help you, sir?

 

Employee: No, but we could sell you one with sauce and cheese on it. 

Me: OK, I'll take a cheese pizza, and please hold the sauce and cheese.  

Employee: We can't do that. 

Me: You have all kinds of specialty pizzas for which customers can request not putting on certain items. If I ordered the Herb Chicken Mediterranean, I could ask to hold the spinach, because maybe in my religion we believe spinach lives matter, and you'd do it, right?

Employee: Yes sir.

Me: But I can't pay full price for a cheese pizza and have you hold the cheese and sauce.

Employee: Correct, sir.

Me: Why not?

Employee: Because it's corporate policy.

Me: So somewhere in the company bylaws it says customers can't get a cheese pizza without cheese and sauce, and somehow you were trained about this policy?

Employee: Yes sir.

Me: Do you actually have the policy handy for me to read?

Employee: No sir.

Me: So I can buy raw cookie dough here but not a raw pizza crust and pay as if it were a full cheese pizza? 

Employee: Yes sir.

I love all the "sirs" he thinks he is getting from the pizza kid down the block.  

Maybe rusty was wearing a black suit and dark sunglasses and carrying a briefcase attached to his wrist by handcuffs. 

[Gladiators 1,904]

You should have asked for the pizza sauce and cheese on the side

[Patriotsfatboy1 1,432]

2 minutes ago, Gladiators said:

You should have asked for the pizza sauce and cheese on the side

[kutulu 1,545]

el gato loco 

[Djgb13 2,338]

1 hour ago, Rusty Syringes said:

A friend gave us some really good homemade salsa, so I go the idea of making some kind of taco pizza out of it. Grocery stores only have small packaged crusts, and making crust at home is a pain in the poophole, so it seemed like a great idea to go get a crust from Papa Murphy.

The conversation there an hour ago went something like this:

Employee: Can I help you, sir?

Me: I'd like to buy just a family sized crust please.

Employee: 

Me: I'm making my own pizza at home and just need a good crust.

Employee: We can't do that.

Me: Why not?

Employee: We've never done that before.

Me: I imagine you'd never sold a pizza before until you took this job, so how hard would it be to hand me one of those crusts in the refrigerator there and charge me whatever?

Employee: We can't do that.

Me: You can't just sell me a crust without anything on it?

Employee: No, but we could sell you one with sauce and cheese on it. 

Me: OK, I'll take a cheese pizza, and please hold the sauce and cheese.  

Employee: We can't do that. 

Me: You have all kinds of specialty pizzas for which customers can request not putting on certain items. If I ordered the Herb Chicken Mediterranean, I could ask to hold the spinach, because maybe in my religion we believe spinach lives matter, and you'd do it, right?

Employee: Yes sir.

Me: But I can't pay full price for a cheese pizza and have you hold the cheese and sauce.

Employee: Correct, sir.

Me: Why not?

Employee: Because it's corporate policy.

Me: So somewhere in the company bylaws it says customers can't get a cheese pizza without cheese and sauce, and somehow you were trained about this policy?

Employee: Yes sir.

Me: Do you actually have the policy handy for me to read?

Employee: No sir.

Me: So I can buy raw cookie dough here but not a raw pizza crust and pay as if it were a full cheese pizza? 

Employee: Yes sir.

And with that I was out of there but managed to buy raw pizza dough at a local grocery store that also creates take-and-bake pizzas.

Ridiculous. 

 

 

Publix or Harris teeter sell uncooked pizza dough that’s been made that day. Big ball of dough that’s a few bucks. Bought it before and used it to make a homemade pizza quite a few times 

[EternalShinyAndChrome 2,517]

1 hour ago, Rusty Syringes said:

I've evolved into debit-card use, thank you very much.

Uhm....yeah, "evolved" is not something we normally associate with you.

[Gladiators 1,904]

29 minutes ago, EternalShinyAndChrome said:

Uhm....yeah, "evolved" is not something we normally associate with you.

Another 20 years and he’ll be telling us he does his banking online!

[Cdub100 3,380]

Rusty is the kind of guy to buy an expensive cut of steak and asking for it to be well done.

[Rusty Syringes 478]

36 minutes ago, Cdub100 said:

Rusty is the kind of guy to buy an expensive cut of steak and asking for it to be well done.

What's wrong with that, Yooper?

[Cdub100 3,380]

13 minutes ago, Rusty Syringes said:

What's wrong with that, Yooper?

You're yelling at min wage pizza workers, you have a house full of cats, you voted for a dementia having pedophile, and you see nothing wrong with a burnt expensive cut of steak.

Do you also have a Karen hair cut? WTF happened to you?

 

[Hardcore troubadour 12,646]

Just now, Cdub100 said:

You're yelling at min wage pizza workers, you have a house full of cats, you voted for dementia having pedophile, and you see nothing wrong with a burnt expensive cut of steak.

Do you also have a Karen hair cut?

 

Now that you put it like that, I realize how pathetic this cuck is. 

[Utilit99 4,099]

55 minutes ago, Cdub100 said:

Rusty is the kind of guy to buy an expensive cut of steak and asking for it to be well done.

rusty: "Hey kid, sell me your pizza dough"

Kid: "No"

rusty whines for 20 minutes and kid answers again: "No"

rusty:  "ok, I'll try somewhere else".

rusty then rushes to the fftoday site to tell his story of getting beat up by a kid. Focking liberals. 

[5-Points 2,729]

I make mine from scratch but if I wanted to buy one premade I guess I'd just buy a Boboli. 

[jerryskids 5,206]

2 hours ago, Patriotsfatboy1 said:

Did you offer to pay by check?

When I saw there were two responses I knew this would be the first.    

[Cdub100 3,380]

Just now, 5-Points said:

I make mine from scratch but if I wanted to buy one premade I guess I'd just buy a Boboli. 

My wife has perfected making home made pizza during our time at home. It's not hard just takes a bit of planning.

[5-Points 2,729]

5 minutes ago, Cdub100 said:

My wife has perfected making home made pizza during our time at home. It's not hard just takes a bit of planning.

Zackly.

Flour, water, yeast, a little olive oil, some salt and maybe a little sugar. 

Mix it up, let it sit. 

 

[Patriotsfatboy1 1,432]

13 minutes ago, jerryskids said:

When I saw there were two responses I knew this would be the first.    

The rest of the replies are useless and are one of the reasons this place is a shithole. Can’t we just have some fun without the other BS?

[Utilit99 4,099]

19 minutes ago, Patriotsfatboy1 said:

The rest of the replies are useless and are one of the reasons this place is a shithole. Can’t we just have some fun without the other BS?

So fun to respond to idiocy in real life with support of it. 

[TimHauck 1,800]

Full disclosure I’ve never had one, but I don’t really get Papa Murphy’s business model.

It’s like $10+ for a pizza you still have to cook.

If I’m gonna spend that much I’m gonna buy one I don’t have to cook.

And if I want to cook one I’ll spend $5 or less for a frozen one

[Rusty Syringes 478]

46 minutes ago, Utilit99 said:

rusty: "Hey kid, sell me your pizza dough"

Kid: "No"

rusty whines for 20 minutes and kid answers again: "No"

rusty:  "ok, I'll try somewhere else".

rusty then rushes to the fftoday site to tell his story of getting beat up by a kid. Focking liberals. 

Liberals need pizzas, too. 

[Rusty Syringes 478]

31 minutes ago, Patriotsfatboy1 said:

The rest of the replies are useless and are one of the reasons this place is a shithole. Can’t we just have some fun without the other BS?

Every reply is precious in The Fuhner's eyes. 

[nobody 2,040]

55 minutes ago, Cdub100 said:

Do you also have a Karen hair cut? 

 

#6 in effect

 

[wiffleball 4,640]

Most legitimate pizza places have no problem selling you Rondo. But I guess I could see in Papa Murphy's case where they might be a little reticent. Or, this kid was just not experienced. You could have easily gone to Pizza Hut or some other place and had a lot more success without fuucking with this poor kid.

[wiffleball 4,640]

2 hours ago, Utilit99 said:

rusty: "Hey kid, sell me your pizza dough"

Kid: "No"

rusty whines for 20 minutes and kid answers again: "No"

rusty:  "ok, I'll try somewhere else".

rusty then rushes to the fftoday site to tell his story of getting beat up by a kid. Focking liberals. 

Some of these retards see liberals in their sleep. Like they went out and stole all the letters from the alphabets and now their cereal only says 'ooo'.

 

No dumb , you're eating Cheerios.

 

Seriously, the left right, Trump vs smart people, liberal / retard conversation doesn't have to happen in every thread.

[OldMaid 1,838]

1 minute ago, wiffleball said:

Some of these retards see liberals in their sleep. Like they went out and stole all the letters from the alphabets and now their cereal only says 'ooo'.

 

No dumb , you're eating Cheerios.

 

Seriously, the left right, Trump vs smart people, liberal / retard conversation doesn't have to happen in every thread.

Remember that tard that used to go around asking "what’s wrong with you?"  I think he was looking for this guy.

[Hardcore troubadour 12,646]

I don’t know, maybe go to a store that sells pizza dough? 

[JustinCharge 2,397]

11 hours ago, Utilit99 said:

So you are a dipshlt in real life too. Go figure. 

He is psychotic.  Wouldn't be surprised if the guy taking that order wound up dead and in rusty's freezer.

[JustinCharge 2,397]

6 hours ago, wiffleball said:

Seriously, the left right, Trump vs smart people, liberal / retard conversation doesn't have to happen in every thread.

But that's the whole problem right now.  There is no way to escape it in 2021.  Politics has infected TV shows, films, sports, schools, everything.  It has turned everything into a huuuuuge political fight.

[Hardcore troubadour 12,646]

6 hours ago, wiffleball said:

Some of these retards see liberals in their sleep. Like they went out and stole all the letters from the alphabets and now their cereal only says 'ooo'.

 

No dumb , you're eating Cheerios.

 

Seriously, the left right, Trump vs smart people, liberal / retard conversation doesn't have to happen in every thread.

Might be the case until you realize you can’t say mother or father in congress anymore. It is what it is, we are in a culture war, and you stand with the freaks. 

[Rusty Syringes 478]

14 hours ago, Cdub100 said:

You're yelling at min wage pizza workers, you have a house full of cats, you voted for a dementia having pedophile, and you see nothing wrong with a burnt expensive cut of steak.

Do you also have a Karen hair cut? WTF happened to you?

 

I wasn't yelling at her.

[Hardcore troubadour 12,646]

24 minutes ago, Rusty Syringes said:

I wasn't yelling at her.

They or them. There is no more her.  

[drobeski 3,061]

5 hours ago, Hardcore troubadour said:

Might be the case until you realize you can’t say mother or father in congress anymore. It is what it is, we are in a culture war, and you stand with the freaks. 

They certainly do.