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Any One Event Fundamentally Change Your Life Trajectory?


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#1 wiffleball

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Posted 24 April 2018 - 03:35 AM

I mean, I guess who the heck am I to stipulate the terms of your response, but I'm going to anyway;

You know, I can see a lot of you saying 'my marriage' as an answer. But, try to be honest with yourself. If it wasn't her, most likely would have been someone else, right? Hard to imagine unless you're really honest about it.

I'm talking about a real trajectory changer.

It kind of shocked me years ago to find out that people I didn't even know very well knew exactly when that time was for me; The death of my brother.

Sometimes, the big moments in life aren't some immediate game changer. But maybe a fuse lighter. Or maybe that's a bad analogy. Maybe more like removing a single Rock from a dam; it seems like all you have to do is replace the Rock and go on with your life. But the damage, the slippage has already been set in motion.

The truly big moments in life don't always immediately lead to a single game-changing moment, hell, you might not even see it coming. One thing leads to another and then to another. Heck, there might be plenty of highs along the way, but still part of an overall downward decline. Or vice versa.

Anyway, your story doesn't have to be a downer. It may be one moment that fundamentally changed your life for the better too.

For good and bad, even when we're right in the middle of some of these moments, I think sometimes we don't recognize or know or even imagine the fundamental impact of those moments going forward.
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#2 penultimatestraw

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Posted 24 April 2018 - 03:51 AM

I'm sure this will be another common answer: divorce. Was a good dose of humility, changed my career path and re-introduced me to the outdoors. Remarried ten years later.



#3 wiffleball

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Posted 24 April 2018 - 03:51 AM

Bottom line is even if you see 'em coming, you're not ready for the big moments. No one asks for their life to change, not really. But it does. So what, are we helpless? Puppets? No. The big moments are gonna come, can't help that. It's what you do afterwards that counts.
-That's when you find out who you are.

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https://youtu.be/1y-uaW3L0eY

--------

The history of humanity is Rife with stories of mankind being bigger than the Moments we face.

But that's only because nobody wants to recount or remember the times when the Big Moments win.

-Wiff.
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#4 titans&bucs&bearsohmy!

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Posted 24 April 2018 - 03:53 AM

Mine is fairly obvious. My divorce.

I hated my focking job with a passion and was borderline suicidal. When I decided to end the marriage, I no longer had any reason to stay in that locality, and was ready to quit the job.

But what next? At first the obvious move was to go home. Start over near my family. But with life in something of a shambles, I actually took the occasion to consider what I actually wanted to do.

I love my family, but dont really want to be a part of the daily clusterfock that goes on down there. I had discovered that money really wasnt that important to me (in the big house, nice car context of it.)

I had always wanted to travel. See the world. Experience new things. Volty suggested I look into this teaching in china thing. He said, hell, give it a year, consider it a long vacation. If you hate it, America aint going anywhere. So I said what the hell and tried it.

I knew several months I would never go back for good. One of these days Im really gonna have to get out voltys way and buy him and the wife a nice dinner or something. I have no idea what the long term future holds, but thats fine, Im happy as it is.

#5 titans&bucs&bearsohmy!

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Posted 24 April 2018 - 03:54 AM

I'm sure this will be another common answer: divorce. Was a good dose of humility, changed my career path and re-introduced me to the outdoors. Remarried ten years later.


Ill agree with that part too. Humility is a good thing, and failure is the best teacher there is.

#6 Voltaire

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Posted 24 April 2018 - 04:01 AM

Getting out of the Army, is one answer but that was always the plan. If I'd liked the Army, I would have stuck, but we were treated poorly, I despised the Army, looked forward to getting out the entire time and re-enlistment was not an option (although I started to play with it in my head again a bit when my life went sour and I was depressed). This was like my divorce, the closing of a bad chapter in my life, the nightmare ends and all is good in the world again.

 

The real answer here is coming to China. I was 29, depressed, my fiance had broke up with me, stuck in a rut, living with my mom, substitute teaching, just going nowhere and spinning my wheels. So when I heard about teaching positions open in China, I checked it out and everything went well. I got off the plane and the light bulb turned on. All of a sudden I had a respectable job, disposable income, my self-esteme and self-confidence came back, I had a long term sexy girlfriend before the week was out. And I'm still here sixteen years later.


There's nothing more exhilarating than to be fired upon without effect. - Winston Churchill 

 


#7 Voltaire

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Posted 24 April 2018 - 04:17 AM

I knew several months I would never go back for good. One of these days Im really gonna have to get out voltys way and buy him and the wife a nice dinner or something. I have no idea what the long term future holds, but thats fine, Im happy as it is.

 

If you want to buy us dinner, I would hope you do it do it before you leave. Go to an Italian restaurant the day before, order too much food, and bring us the leftovers. No, I am not joking.

 

The only option here is Pizza Hut or the Taiwan steakhouse chain that seems to be everywhere in China :Haucaller. Every other place around here, it may be an upscale restaurant but I never particularly like them and nothing within the neighborhood of re-heated Italian or Tex-Mex or French food.

 

Thet're putting in one of those high-speed rails between Chengdu and Kunming and it'll stop in Panzhihua, so when that opens, it'd become an option.


There's nothing more exhilarating than to be fired upon without effect. - Winston Churchill 

 


#8 titans&bucs&bearsohmy!

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Posted 24 April 2018 - 04:22 AM

 
If you want to buy us dinner, I would hope you do it do it before you leave. Go to an Italian restaurant the day before, order too much food, and bring us the leftovers. No, I am not joking.
 
The only option here is Pizza Hut or the Taiwan steakhouse chain that seems to be everywhere in China :Haucaller. Every other place around here, it may be an upscale restaurant but I never particularly like them and nothing within the neighborhood of re-heated Italian or Tex-Mex or French food.
 
Thet're putting in one of those high-speed rails between Chengdu and Kunming and it'll stop in Panzhihua, so when that opens, it'd become an option.


Hmm. You should come here then. Lol

Houcaller or whatever it is sucks. How you can fock up steak so bad is beyond me.

Pizza Hut blows in the states... here it is really bad.

So you guys have la Cesar? Its a big chain. They have a fairly decent pepperoni pizza there. If you have one you should try it.

You have to ask them to make sure to clean the pizza station first though, otherwise your pizza will have the durian taint from all the chink pizza. Their other specialty is smoked salmon and avocado pizza. Ugh.

They know me now. I dont even order anymore. My pizza and two cokes is exactly ¥100. I just sit down and WeChat them the money.

#9 TimmySmith

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Posted 24 April 2018 - 04:28 AM

Early 90s. Bad time for the country. Economy was way down. Company I worked for went OOB. Moved back to DC temporarily because I was broke. 2 weeks back, I blew out my knee playing football with friends. 6 month recovery. Still here.

“We’ve fulfilled far more promises than we’ve promised,” the president said. “I call it promises plus.”

 


#10 kilroy69

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Posted 24 April 2018 - 04:43 AM

My son. I floated though life till him. In the 4 years since his birth I have made giant strides as a person.
Its still not a hummingbird.

#11 Voltaire

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Posted 24 April 2018 - 04:59 AM

Hmm. You should come here then. Lol

Houcaller or whatever it is sucks. How you can fock up steak so bad is beyond me.

Pizza Hut blows in the states... here it is really bad.

So you guys have la Cesar? Its a big chain. They have a fairly decent pepperoni pizza there. If you have one you should try it.

You have to ask them to make sure to clean the pizza station first though, otherwise your pizza will have the durian taint from all the chink pizza. Their other specialty is smoked salmon and avocado pizza. Ugh.

They know me now. I dont even order anymore. My pizza and two cokes is exactly ¥100. I just sit down and WeChat them the money.

We've got two KFCs, two Haucallers, one Pizza Hut, 3rd rate imitations of those three. it. If a McDonalds or a Subway (Yay! Please, please please)) or a le Cesar, which I never heard of even in Chengdu or Chongqing, let alone Panzhihua, those would be huge steps up.

 

Haucaller is meh like you said.  The only good place to eat is Pizza Hut, 50 minutes by bus away, and there is no second place.


There's nothing more exhilarating than to be fired upon without effect. - Winston Churchill 

 


#12 titans&bucs&bearsohmy!

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Posted 24 April 2018 - 05:48 AM

We've got two KFCs, two Haucallers, one Pizza Hut, 3rd rate imitations of those three. it. If a McDonalds or a Subway (Yay! Please, please please)) or a le Cesar, which I never heard of even in Chengdu or Chongqing, let alone Panzhihua, those would be huge steps up.
 
Haucaller is meh like you said.  The only good place to eat is Pizza Hut, 50 minutes by bus away, and there is no second place.

Fock man. That sucks. We have a McDonalds, a kfc, and a la Cesar and also a sazieria (low rent Olive Garden) 100 yards from the building we live in, in addition to numerous chinky options.

Two subway stops down is a mega mall with a great, even by US standards, burger place, a good(ish) Greek/Italian place, a couple of meh American style places (decent steak at least) and other ######, including a Czech beer house that I havent tried yet, and a damn good Thai place..

And if none of that will do, an hour away by subway is shekou, that has everything imaginable. Mexican, Italian, Indian, Australian steakhouse, more Thai, Japanese, etc.

And if youre really feeling frisky, about two hours and you can be on Hong Kong island, which, of course, has anything you could possibly want. I rarely feel like crossing an international (wink wink) border just to Fock around on a Saturday though. The checkpoints are a bit... chaotic. Weve only bothered to cross twice actually.

It appears we are moving further out into the city fringe next year though. I signed a contract yesterday with the school the woman works at, which will make out commutes nonexistent. We are debating taking a free on campus apartment (very nice) versus just getting our own across the road (will still end up being free, just have to pay the deposits and sh!t.)

The on campus would be convenient for those three hour lunch breaks. And when I dont have class, I could just go home rather than sitting in the focking office. The downside, of course, would be living among the 9,000 boarding school students. Im told they get rather noisy during their free time.

I really wish someone would open a real deli. Like NYC style. That would freaking rock. Btw, have you ever eaten in a Chinese subway? (Shudder). Some dumbass I knew in zhengzhou ate the seafood salad there. Spent a weekend on the sh!tter for that bad decision.

#13 NorthernVike

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Posted 24 April 2018 - 05:53 AM

Wiff, please share with us why you hate wimmens so much.

Being an ass hole is all part of my manly essence

 

 



You guys have no focking clue what happened so you really should just shut it..

 


#14 titans&bucs&bearsohmy!

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Posted 24 April 2018 - 05:55 AM

Wiff, please share with us why you hate wimmens so much.


Search for my mother, author wiffleball. That would probably be a place to start.

#15 Gladiators

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Posted 24 April 2018 - 06:02 AM

2 things come to mind.

 

1) When my parents got divorced.  I was 13.  Prior to that I was a good student and played sports.  After, I had a fock life attitude.  Stopped playing sports and didn't care about school.

 

2) When I met the group of friends I ended up hanging out with in high school.  We had the best of both worlds.  Had fun on the weekends, but did well in school.  I turned my grades back around, went to college and have been successful financially.  The crowd I was hanging out with from 13-15 started down the path of drugs.  Most are stuck in dead end jobs today.



#16 Voltaire

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Posted 24 April 2018 - 06:34 AM


Two subway stops down is a mega mall with a great, even by US standards,

 Btw, have you ever eaten in a Chinese subway? (Shudder). Some dumbass I knew in zhengzhou ate the seafood salad there. Spent a weekend on the sh!tter for that bad decision.

These two lines contradict each other.

 

But I love Subway in Chengdu, I use to go there all the time, I used all the coupons in their coupon book and they had different daily specials. It was great. Whenever I go to Chengdu, or an airport, invariably I go to the Subway.


There's nothing more exhilarating than to be fired upon without effect. - Winston Churchill 

 


#17 titans&bucs&bearsohmy!

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Posted 24 April 2018 - 06:38 AM

These two lines contradict each other.
 
But I love Subway in Chengdu, I use to go there all the time, I used all the coupons in their coupon book and they had different daily specials. It was great. Whenever I go to Chengdu, or an airport, invariably I go to the Subway.

The first use of the word subway refers to the Shenzhen metro. There is a large mall two train stops away, or a 10 minute ride.

The second refers to the sh!tty sandwich chain.

The only subway sandwiches Ive eaten at in china was in zhengzhou. They had a problem with mold growing in the bins. I never went back.

I forget sometimes you left The states sixteen years ago. Subway was still decent then. That was also pre firehouse, jersey mikes, penn station, Quiznos, etc.

#18 Hardcore troubadour

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Posted 24 April 2018 - 06:39 AM

Learning how to whack off was pretty significant

#19 edjr

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Posted 24 April 2018 - 06:40 AM

Why Do You Cap. The First Letter In Your Thread Title? That Is Super Annoying


posty


#20 cyclone24

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Posted 24 April 2018 - 07:12 AM

It's an interesting question mainly because I think a majority of the people will cite something they stopped doing like a divorce as opposed to something they started doing.

I think for me unfortunately it probably was divorce. It was 100% my fault. lost tons of friends, lost my standing in the community to the point where I basically just moved after it was all over. Probably took me five good years just to even get my life back together. But I ended up marrying a doctor so I failed upwards. Go figure.

I think the other one was when I got recruited to play basketball. It was kind of the first time I felt like I was getting acknowledged for my athletic abilities that someone said I was good enough to play at the next level. It's crazy with that did for my confidence. To this day I still run around and am just a prickk to everyone for no reason. fock you.
Kid i wish i could buy you at what youre really worth and sell you for what you think youre worth
Mickey Mantle to Joe Pepitone.

#21 kilroy69

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Posted 24 April 2018 - 07:35 AM

Also. looking back my parents divorce changed the path of my life. I was a super happy go lucky kid that never got into any trouble before my parents split. Then we went to spend a few weeks with my dad. had a blast and really enjoyed it. When we went to go back to my mom. She had sold the house and moved us all to Georgia. No warning. No nothing. I had never even seen a black person before the move. Seriously. NEVER. Let alone interacted with them and the language they spoke. Then toss in the fact that I did not speak southern and I had a very hard time adjusting. I started acting out and went from a normal kid to a problem child. I ended up getting expelled in the 3rd grade in a downward spiral that did not end till the 5th grade. In that time I burned down a 10 acre plot of woods......on mothers day. 


Its still not a hummingbird.

#22 Djgb13

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Posted 24 April 2018 - 07:39 AM

My ex convincing me to play college ball at the college she was going to so we could be closer to each other. Most toxic relationship Ive ever had and ruined all kinds of opportunities for me

#23 Hardcore troubadour

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Posted 24 April 2018 - 07:48 AM

My ex convincing me to play college ball at the college she was going to so we could be closer to each other. Most toxic relationship Ive ever had and ruined all kinds of opportunities for me


Is she the one that was stalking you and made you promote yourself to Major?

#24 wiffleball

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Posted 24 April 2018 - 08:10 AM

Search for my mother, author wiffleball. That would probably be a place to start.


That is such bullshiit.


I don't even know your mother.
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#25 wiffleball

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Posted 24 April 2018 - 08:12 AM

Why Do You Cap. The First Letter In Your Thread Title? That Is Super Annoying


fUuck yOu.

I'm trying to have a vulnerable moment here God damn it.😠
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#26 Djgb13

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Posted 24 April 2018 - 08:52 AM

Why Do You Cap. The First Letter In Your Thread Title? That Is Super Annoying


How is it annoying? I used to before you idiots got a triggered by it. Its a title. Its MEANT to be capitalized with every first letter. Thats English 101.

#27 wiffleball

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Posted 24 April 2018 - 08:55 AM

How is it annoying? I used to before you idiots got a triggered by it. Its a title. Its MEANT to be capitalized with every first letter. Thats English 101.



There ya go.
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#28 NorthernVike

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Posted 24 April 2018 - 09:10 AM

That is such bullshiit.


I don't even know your mother.

:clap:


Being an ass hole is all part of my manly essence

 

 



You guys have no focking clue what happened so you really should just shut it..

 


#29 jerryskids

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Posted 24 April 2018 - 09:13 AM

I'll give a positive story:  29 years ago I moved to Phoenix for a job on a rotation program.  They hired about 25 engineers each year for this, and it was like a coed fraternity; they became my instant circle of friends.  During one rotation I worked near one particular girl, I'll call her Mary, and we got to be good friends.  Totally platonic, in fact I dated her roommate for a while (also on program).  One night we were all out dancing and I looked up to see Mary say something to another friend and that friend look at me with a :o face.  It was clear that she said something to the effect of liking me.  I was intrigued and thought "hmm, she is kinda cute..." I pursued her to get her to tell me what she said, and eventually we went on a date.

 

Here we are married 25 years this October with 3 kids.  :cheers:

 

Oh, and for those wondering, she told our friend "if I was drunk enough I'd sleep with Jerry."  :D


"I wouldnt even consider sitting out, I love pedo threads." -- tanatastic

 

#30 Hardcore troubadour

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Posted 24 April 2018 - 09:29 AM

Yeah, learning to whack it is the leader in the clubhouse.

#31 Strike

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Posted 24 April 2018 - 09:33 AM

I'll give a positive story:  29 years ago I moved to Phoenix for a job on a rotation program.  They hired about 25 engineers each year for this, and it was like a coed fraternity; they became my instant circle of friends.  During one rotation I worked near one particular girl, I'll call her Mary, and we got to be good friends.  Totally platonic, in fact I dated her roommate for a while (also on program).  One night we were all out dancing and I looked up to see Mary say something to another friend and that friend look at me with a :o face.  It was clear that she said something to the effect of liking me.  I was intrigued and thought "hmm, she is kinda cute..." I pursued her to get her to tell me what she said, and eventually we went on a date.
 
Here we are married 25 years this October with 3 kids.  :cheers:
 
Oh, and for those wondering, she told our friend "if I was drunk enough I'd sleep with Jerry."  :D


So how drunk does she have to get now?

2008 Geek Bored Football Pick'em Champion


 


#32 Bier Meister

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Posted 24 April 2018 - 09:35 AM

1999- our first trip to europe together. 

 

I was in psychology both working for an insurance company  managing mental health benefits and doing clinical work.  we lived in marin county (about 10-15 min from sonoma, 30 min to napa).  traveled to germany, switzerland, and austria.  as a big skier, i loved the alps. have always enjoyed food and wine but had an amazing experience in st. moriz.  over the next few years we decided to make an attempt to own an inn/restaurant in switzerland or austria.  we found a culinary school in vail and made the move (the weekend before 9/11).  i always enjoyed the work it did in psychology, but the food and beverage really pushed my buttons.... always wanted to learn and experience more.

 

no regerts.  i also know i could have been high on the ladder of the insurance company had i stayed.


Challenge does not build character. Challenge reveals it.

#33 fandandy

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Posted 24 April 2018 - 09:39 AM

A series of events after my dad passed away changed my life forever for the worse.  Alcohol in excess, medication for depression, and just an immature arrogance I had that things would always be the status quo or better.  Not a day goes by I don't just look at my world now and shake my head in disgust.



#34 Mike Honcho

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Posted 24 April 2018 - 10:28 AM

When I was a kid, one day I was sitting on a hickory stump and playin' a fiddle and playin' it hot.   Well this guy comes up to me and starts talkin some smack...long story short, I ended up with a fiddle of gold! 

 

:pointstosky:



#35 NorthernVike

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Posted 24 April 2018 - 10:39 AM

This one time in band camp...


Being an ass hole is all part of my manly essence

 

 



You guys have no focking clue what happened so you really should just shut it..

 


#36 edjr

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Posted 24 April 2018 - 10:56 AM

When I was a kid, one day I was sitting on a hickory stump and playin' a fiddle and playin' it hot.   Well this guy comes up to me and starts talkin some smack...long story short, I ended up with a fiddle stickin out my ass

:pointstosky:

 

more likely.


posty


#37 nzoner

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Posted 24 April 2018 - 11:29 AM

As a young man in my early 20's I had two job offers,one selling copiers/office equipment etc. and the other selling advertising for a weekly paper.Chose the latter and ended up marrying my boss(work wise) and then went on to start our own direct mail advertising business which we had for 26 years until selling it last May.


"NOTHING MATTERS BUT THE WEEKEND,FROM A TUESDAY POINT OF VIEW."

#38 jerryskids

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Posted 24 April 2018 - 12:36 PM

So how drunk does she have to get now?

 

She is a bit of a lightweight so two or three drinks puts her to sleep errr.... in the mood.  :ninja:


"I wouldnt even consider sitting out, I love pedo threads." -- tanatastic

 

#39 MLCKAA

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Posted 24 April 2018 - 12:41 PM

Probably not what youre looking for, but in 1996 a woman I knew told me that my attitude was so negative that it was easy to see why few people wanted to hang around with me. That burned, but I took it to heart and it changed me.

#40 Alias Detective

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Posted 24 April 2018 - 12:53 PM

A series of events after my dad passed away changed my life forever for the worse.  Alcohol in excess, medication for depression, and just an immature arrogance I had that things would always be the status quo or better.  Not a day goes by I don't just look at my world now and shake my head in disgust.


Tired of your sorry for yourself attitude. Fock, do something about your situation other than cry over spilled milk.