Next stall poop guy strikes again

[KSB2424 3,083]

It was after lunch and I'm about ready for my afternoon glory. So I proceed to print out a couple 2008 NBA mock drafts to peruse. I prefer draftexpress.com over nbadraft.net as I have found it more accurate. Anyway, as soon as I make my toilet paper pallet and take a seat, this focker rolls in and squats in the stall right next to mine. I mean WTF? And not to mention it is the same guy that has done this three times now in the past couple weeks. I can spot him by his sneakers. There are only a few guys that even wear sneakers in my building (hippy IT schmucks) and only one with this particular pair. Seriously, there is a row of approximately seven stalls in this particular restroom and this same guy decides to plop his fatass right next to me so I can hear his bowel movements, grunting, and splashing.

 

Answer me this. What person sees a row of seven poop stalls and somehow decides to pick the one right beside the ONLY one that is "in use"? Riddle me that Batman. If this guy does it one more time I’m going for repercussions. Any suggestions? TIA

[Birdseed 1]

Answer me this. What person sees a row of seven poop stalls and somehow decides to pick the one right beside the ONLY one that is "in use"? Riddle me that Batman. If this guy does it one more time I’m going for repercussions. Any suggestions? TIA

 

[kutulu 1,551]

[crackattack 513]

Maybe your sitting next to his favorite stall

[Chronic Husker 85]

Are you using the same stall every time? Maybe he has one he prefers.

[xxx 0]

Are you using the same stall every time? Maybe he has one he prefers.

this is the obvious explanation. if you switch stalls and he is still sidles up to you, you've got a situation on yer hands

[davebg 0]

Did he start tapping his hippy IT schmuck sneakers in your direction?

[dain11279 928]

Answer me this. What person sees a row of seven poop stalls and somehow decides to pick the one right beside the ONLY one that is "in use"?

 

Somebody who you.

[IAMWood 6]

Get a private bathroom.

 

 

I guess we all had to work up.

 

Go to another stall when he sits down.

 

 

or

 

Put your hand over your mouth and make bowel and fart noises really loud when he pulls in. Make him think about it.

 

or

 

do the shoe tap?

 

[gocolts 300]

Are you using the same stall every time? Maybe he has one he prefers.

CH may be on to something here. Does he use the same stall each time??? If so, I would try a different one and see what he does. Or, if you use a stall on the end, sabotage the stall right next to you somehow right before you do your thing. I'm sure the geek club members could come up with some pretty creative ways to do this sabotage.

[davebg 0]

if you use a stall on the end, sabotage the stall right next to you somehow right before you do your thing.

Toilet paper on seat + pee = problem solved

As long as you don't mind being the dooshbag who just pissed all over one of the stalls.

[zmanzzzz 1]

try a different floor.

[KSB2424 3,083]

I usually do not pay attention to which stall I use, but I'm pretty sure it is not the same one all three times. I will have to pay more attention next time, but damn who the hell has a "favorite" poop stall? Those things are all the same in this restroom. Either way this focker is treading on thin ice.

 

It might not be so bad if he wasn't a sonic boom pooper.

[kutulu 1,551]

Crappy story.

[Rusty Syringes 478]

Stick your pecker in the glory hole and see what happens.

[Sho Nuff 719]

I usually do not pay attention to which stall I use, but I'm pretty sure it is not the same one all three times. I will have to pay more attention next time, but damn who the hell has a "favorite" poop stall? Those things are all the same in this restroom. Either way this focker is treading on thin ice.

 

It might not be so bad if he wasn't a sonic boom pooper.

 

Who the hell does not have a favorite poop stall?

[KSB2424 3,083]

Who the hell does not have a favorite poop stall?

Really? Maybe this phenomenon is lost on me. :shrugshoulders:

 

Exactly what differentiates one poop stall from another? I realize humans are habitual by nature but this is a little much don't you think. And wouldn't the fact that another man is excreting his bowels right next to you trump any perceived advantage that this favorite poop stall may exhibit?

 

I tell you right now what my favorite poop stall is......the one that is not next to somebody taking a hot monster plop. That is my favorite poop stall.

[patweisers44 697]

Fake a trip every once in awhile to see if he follows...when he does sit next to you, get up quickly and go shat in his desk drawer

[Sho Nuff 719]

Really? Maybe this phenomenon is lost on me. :shrugshoulders:

 

Exactly what differentiates one poop stall from another? I realize humans are habitual by nature but this is a little much don't you think. And wouldn't the fact that another man is excreting his bowels right next to you trump any perceived advantage that this favorite poop stall may exhibit?

 

I tell you right now what my favorite poop stall is......the one that is not next to somebody taking a hot monster plop. That is my favorite poop stall.

 

I agree...that the other fat hair ass plopping down the brown squirts trumps all favorite options.

 

That said...my office there are two stalls...it focking sucks sometimes even trying to get one open stall...much less both of them.

Sometimes you just have to drop the deuce next to another man.

[TheNewGirl 1,031]

Fake a trip every once in awhile to see if he follows...when he does sit next to you, get up quickly and go shat in his desk drawer

 

 

This made me laugh.

[remote controller 133]

I always love it when the explosion is followed by a exhausted sounding "phew". I find it keeps them away the next time if you give them an ovation for there performance, then give them props in front of the rest of the office for their effort.

[NorthernVike 2,080]

Ask him for a courtesy flush

[KSB2424 3,083]

Ask him for a courtesy flush

 

There is only one thing worse than next stall poop guy, it is "fockface that wants to actually talk to you while in the bathroom" guy.

[remote controller 133]

Two years ago I was at a conference, and the speaker forgot to turn off his cordless microphone when he took a $h!t. It was hilarious when he came back in after break and realized it. He was a 350 pounder, and he was real noisy!

[NorthernVike 2,080]

 

There is only one thing worse than next stall poop guy, it is "fockface that wants to actually talk to you while in the bathroom" guy.

 

 

My point exactly. Share a couple of GFIAFP stories with him. I bet he never sits next to you again

[IGotWorms 3,316]

Really? Maybe this phenomenon is lost on me. :shrugshoulders:

 

Exactly what differentiates one poop stall from another? I realize humans are habitual by nature but this is a little much don't you think. And wouldn't the fact that another man is excreting his bowels right next to you trump any perceived advantage that this favorite poop stall may exhibit?

 

I tell you right now what my favorite poop stall is......the one that is not next to somebody taking a hot monster plop. That is my favorite poop stall.

 

Of course most people have a favorite poop stall. I usually prefer the second to last stall in the row of stalls. That way I am sufficiently far away from the urinals that I don't have to worry about some guy taking a piss ruining my pooping experience, but at the same time I am also not hiding away like a pervert in the corner of the restroom.

 

That said, current usage of adjacent poop stalls clearly trumps my favorite poop stall preference. There is no excuse for using a poop stall right next to another occupied one, when other free poop stalls are available, unless those other stalls are all incapacitated.

[GettnHuge 1]

blumpkin

 

seriously, though, you need to up the ante. You need to do something so creepy that he can't not notice and tell others.

You become his poop guy.

[KSB2424 3,083]

current usage of adjacent poop stalls clearly trumps my favorite poop stall preference. There is no excuse for using a poop stall right next to another occupied one, when other free poop stalls are available, unless those other stalls are all incapacitated.

I just copied and pasted this statement to a word document in about 20 font and am thinking of taping it to the back wall of the poop stall in question.

[NorthernVike 2,080]

 

 

[gocolts 300]

Ask him for a courtesy flush

[GettnHuge 1]

 

mebe faking some ghey phone secks will send his poop pal scrambling for the door

[GettnHuge 1]

It was after lunch

 

Look, forget about the ghey phone secks. whisper shat like you're on the phone talkin about killin someone.

You don't want to 'take care of the problem' but you feel you have to...i mean, you've already been paid for the job...

 

also go into stall, squirt some piss on the seat, do again on the other side, then take the one in the middle.

We'll see how much he wants to sit next to you

[shovelheadt 62]

If this guy does it one more time I’m going for repercussions. Any suggestions? TIA

 

Next time, start mumbling sh*t under your breath along the lines of "That's right b*tch.....unh...u focking like it that way don't you.....oof...want me to slap ur ass?"

[KSB2424 3,083]

While I certainly appreciate the suggestions of whispering to myself like a crazed maniac or actually pissing all over the seats adjacent to the one I choose to use, I just don't think I could pull it off. I would most certainly start busting out laughing if I tried to say while pooping "You don't want to 'take care of the problem' but you feel you have to...i mean, you've already been paid for the job" or "That's right b*tch.....unh...u focking like it that way don't you.....oof...want me to slap ur ass?". There is just no way I can do that with a straight face. While it may work, I don't think this is a plausible remedy.

[Let Da Big Dog Eat 37]

This one is easy. Print some gay pron off the net. Tape to the back wall in stall next to you before going in for a landing on your chosen throne. If he sits down next to you again go strait to HR and accuse him of putting it there.

[AirRam 3]

While I certainly appreciate the suggestions of whispering to myself like a crazed maniac or actually pissing all over the seats adjacent to the one I choose to use, I just don't think I could pull it off. I would most certainly start busting out laughing if I tried to say while pooping "You don't want to 'take care of the problem' but you feel you have to...i mean, you've already been paid for the job" or "That's right b*tch.....unh...u focking like it that way don't you.....oof...want me to slap ur ass?". There is just no way I can do that with a straight face. While it may work, I don't think this is a plausible remedy.

 

 

Chemical warfare is the only solution. For dinner tonight consume the following:

 

12 hardboiled eggs

4 cups of pinto beans

3 scoops of concentrated whey protein in a glass of whole milk

24 hot buffalo wings

12 pack of Coors Light

 

 

Follow this Anarchist Cookbook for 7th Level of Hell Shits then make sure he sees you go to the poop stall to follow and you will have won....because he will no longer be able to smell or will be dead. Either way you win.

[KSB2424 3,083]

This one is easy. Print some gay pron off the net. Tape to the back wall in stall next to you before going in for a landing on your chosen throne. If he sits down next to you again go strait to HR and accuse him of putting it there.

Not bad at all, however there is a downfall. I will have to actually print gay pron at my house, carry it to work, and plant it without being caught. Sounds like a fothermucking scene from a Mission Impossible movie. I will give it consideration.

[wiffleball 4,645]

Did he start tapping his hippy IT schmuck sneakers in your direction?

 

That's what I was thinking.

 

 

If not, It's prolly the same mindset as those douchers that, in an completely empty parking lot, HAVE to park right next to you. The same homos who, in an empty bar sidle up right next to you. The same assmunchers that -

 

Well, you get the point.

[TheNewGirl 1,031]

You guys give this WAAAY too much thought. Just go in, do you bidness and leave. Who cares what the dood in the next stall is doing?

[KSB2424 3,083]

Chemical warfare is the only solution. For dinner tonight consume the following:

 

12 hardboiled eggs

4 cups of pinto beans

3 scoops of concentrated whey protein in a glass of whole milk

24 hot buffalo wings

12 pack of Coors Light

Follow this Anarchist Cookbook for 7th Level of Hell Shits then make sure he sees you go to the poop stall to follow and you will have won....because he will no longer be able to smell or will be dead. Either way you win.

 

Geez! Would I even survive this? The cramps alone would render me useless that day. This would certainly work, but may be overkill.