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Do you talk dirty whilst doing the nasty?

  

22 members have voted

  1. 1. Well, do you?

    • Yes - I talk filthy like phillybear at a dead hookers' convention
      8
    • No - I clam up like peenie's sister's vajayjay after a nice homecooked meal
      5
    • It depends
      9


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So I aim to please with the missus, but one thing she would like is for me to talk dirty more often during sex. It's never been my style and honestly, I just can't do it naturally. Whenever I try I don't even know what the hell I'm supposed to say, and I feel completely focking ridiculous forcing these fake dirty phrases out of my mouth.

 

I'm no prude, mind you, it's just one thing I've never been able to pull off. I'll grunt and moan and whatnot, but to me gettin' busy is no time to talk.

 

Of course, I like it when she talks dirty to me. Go figure. :dunno:

 

What are your practices? Is it something you like doing? Are there tricks to make yourself do it even when it doesn't come naturally? Does your significant other talk dirty?

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So I aim to please with the missus, but one thing she would like is for me to talk dirty more often during sex. It's never been my style and honestly, I just can't do it naturally. Whenever I try I don't even know what the hell I'm supposed to say, and I feel completely focking ridiculous forcing these fake dirty phrases out of my mouth.

 

I'm no prude, mind you, it's just one thing I've never been able to pull off. I'll grunt and moan and whatnot, but to me gettin' busy is no time to talk.

 

Of course, I like it when she talks dirty to me. Go figure. :dunno:

 

What are your practices? Is it something you like doing? Are there tricks to make yourself do it even when it doesn't come naturally? Does your significant other talk dirty?

 

FIRST of ALL TMI.

 

 

Are you drunk enough ?

 

Sloppy Sex :pointstosky:

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I didn't used to talk dirty, but now it kinda spices things up with Wifey :thumbsup:

 

Here's a good phrase ... you can fill in the blanks with the appropriate body part and orifice:

 

You like my ***** in your ***** don't you !?! (in a tone that expects an affirmative answer) :cheers:

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Generally speaking, it does come across as cheesy pron material. But when uttered in a genuine fashion.... :headbanger:

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You have to say it like you're p1ssed off at her.

 

Such as "You like it when I smack your a$$ don't you" (while smacking it hard enough to make it red).

"yeah, you're my little b1tch. When I'm done with you, you're gonna beg to make me a sandwich."

 

things like that.

 

HTH

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You have to say it like you're p1ssed off at her.

 

Such as "You like it when I smack your a$$ don't you" (while smacking it hard enough to make it red).

"yeah, you're my little b1tch. When I'm done with you, you're gonna beg to make me a sandwich."

 

things like that.

 

HTH

 

 

How does he reply to you ??

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I like to talk nasty while doing the dirty instead.

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mud, trash, garbage, feces...

 

mmm i love dirty talk

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Man i cant get into it. The SO would do it and talk dirty...but it just seems forced. Just not my thing.,

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LOve some dirty talk during sex. Nothing too crazy. NOthing vulgar. I say things like, "My God, you're so wet" or "I'm so hard right now", and she'll say things like, "I want you inside of me", or "I want it" when she's giving me head. :thumbsup:

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You have to say it like you're p1ssed off at her.

 

Such as "You like it when I smack your a$$ don't you" (while smacking it hard enough to make it red).

"yeah, you're my little b1tch. When I'm done with you, you're gonna beg to make me a sandwich."

 

things like that.

 

HTH

 

LMAO at the sammich comment. My wife would be in tears from laughter if I said that. Just last night, as I was munching on her, I let loose in my best Throw Momma From The Train Voice..."Owen loves his momma". Took 5 minutes to stop laughing and get back in the mood. But to the original question..you have to be careful because some women will have limits. They'll only want things like BLS and Newbie mentioned. Next thing you know, someone drops a 'You're about to taste your own ass you focking c^nt!' and the night is ruined.

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One thing you DON'T wanna do is try to talk dirty and start dropping terms like pemus and vagina.

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Yes, almost all the time. My wife loves it, as I'm sure many of you gentlemen already know. :cheers:

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I like getting them to beg for stuff. Like give em just the tip, and then "Do you want it? You have to ask me nicely, I can't hear you, Louder!" kinda stuff. Then when they do, throw down hard.

 

And I LOVE it when chicks talk dirty. Stuff like "I want to taste your cvm" = :banana:

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I like getting them to beg for stuff. Like give em just the tip, and then "Do you want it? You have to ask me nicely, I can't hear you, Louder!" kinda stuff. Then when they do, throw down hard.

 

And I LOVE it when chicks talk dirty. Stuff like "I want to taste your cvm" = :banana:

 

Spit in my ass hole is a personal fave.

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So I aim to please with the missus, but one thing she would like is for me to talk dirty more often during sex. It's never been my style and honestly, I just can't do it naturally. Whenever I try I don't even know what the hell I'm supposed to say, and I feel completely focking ridiculous forcing these fake dirty phrases out of my mouth.

 

I'm no prude, mind you, it's just one thing I've never been able to pull off. I'll grunt and moan and whatnot, but to me gettin' busy is no time to talk.

 

Of course, I like it when she talks dirty to me. Go figure. :dunno:

 

What are your practices? Is it something you like doing? Are there tricks to make yourself do it even when it doesn't come naturally? Does your significant other talk dirty?

 

Your difficulty lies in the fact that you are a complete and utter h0m0. I don't know why you try to even deny it anymore.

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And I LOVE it when chicks talk dirty. Stuff like "I want to taste your cvm" = :banana:

Yes. This guy gets it.

 

I love when Im banging her and she knows I'm close and she tells me she wants me to come in her mouth. That's almost an instant nut for me. :thumbsup:

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"You mean the panties your mother laid out for you?"

 

That's not offensive. It's abnormal, but it's not offensive.

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LMAO at the sammich comment. ruined.

Link?

The dumb focker actually said "sandwich". <_<

 

Can I make a motion for BLS to get suspended from here for at least a month ?

 

Pretty sad when one of our most respected posters here doesn't know how to properly tell his b1tch what to do :doh:

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Yes. This guy gets it.

 

I love when Im banging him and he knows I'm close and he tells me he wants me to come in his mouth. That's almost an instant nut for me. :thumbsup:

Quote worthy :thumbsup:

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Link?

The dumb focker actually said "sandwich". <_<

 

Can I make a motion for BLS to get suspended from here for at least a month ?

 

Pretty sad when one of our most respected posters here doesn't know how to properly tell his b1tch what to do :doh:

 

What the fock are you talking about?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

We don't have any respected posters here.

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Spit in my ass hole is a personal fave.

 

You say that or does she say that :unsure: :confused:

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maybe chronic husker can stop by and tell us how he talks dirty when raping a chick :banana:

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maybe chronic husker can stop by and tell us how he talks dirty when raping a chick :banana:

 

I wanna hear some of things you said to the blind folded, chubby chick on your back porch that you were peeing on. Bring it.

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You mean things like:

 

Shut the fvck up or your going to wake your mother up !!

 

???

 

Nope nevah have.

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I was dating this chick who loved when I talked dirty to her. The more demeaning and vulgur I was to her, the more she got off on it. She asked me to choke fawk her once but I wouldn't do it. Should have ended the relationship right there but it was some good poosay. She was true crazy. Anyway, after a long night of drinking we go back to her parents house. Her parents were filthy rich and had this big house with a big pool and they were out of town. So we go swimming and continue drinking and eventually work our way to her bedroom. First thing out of her mouth. True Crazy: Tell me I'm a dirty fawking whoore! Make me tell the truth master! Me: You dirty filthy fawking whoore. Get on your hands and knees and put that big poosay in the air. I'm gonna fawk you from behind so I don't have to look at that slut face of yours tonight. So this goes on for hours and eventually we both pass out. The next morning I get up to go to the hallway bathroom and it smells like someone just took a whoore. True Crazy was still in bed and I know she hadn't gotten up. So as I go to investigate who the mystery sh!tter is since nobody is supposed to be home but us, I hear her grandmother talking on the phone and telling the other person about how they showed up a day early and what an intersting night her and grandpa had listening to their precious grandaughter get verbally and physically pounded half the night. So I go back to the room and relay the fact that her grandparents are here and they stayed in the guest room next to her room and apparently heard us all night. She started laughing and could care less about those two old geezers. She gets dressed and tells me we should go down and have breakfast with them and not to worry about it. Me: There's no fawking way i'm having breakfast with your granny and pawpaw after they heard me tell you that you are the worst nut sucker on the planet and you better get it right or i'm gonna have to make you lick my baloon knot as punishment.

 

She gets up and leaves me there. So I sat in her room by myself wondering the best way to escape without being seen. Her paw paw knocks on the door. Paw Paw: Come have some breakfast. I won't bite. I want to hear more about how much a whoore my daughter raised.

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I was dating this chick who loved when I talked dirty to her. The more demeaning and vulgur I was to her, the more she got off on it. She asked me to choke fawk her once but I wouldn't do it. Should have ended the relationship right there but it was some good poosay. She was true crazy. Anyway, after a long night of drinking we go back to her parents house. Her parents were filthy rich and had this big house with a big pool and they were out of town. So we go swimming and continue drinking and eventually work our way to her bedroom. First thing out of her mouth. True Crazy: Tell me I'm a dirty fawking whoore! Make me tell the truth master! Me: You dirty filthy fawking whoore. Get on your hands and knees and put that big poosay in the air. I'm gonna fawk you from behind so I don't have to look at that slut face of yours tonight. So this goes on for hours and eventually we both pass out. The next morning I get up to go to the hallway bathroom and it smells like someone just took a whoore. True Crazy was still in bed and I know she hadn't gotten up. So as I go to investigate who the mystery sh!tter is since nobody is supposed to be home but us, I hear her grandmother talking on the phone and telling the other person about how they showed up a day early and what an intersting night her and grandpa had listening to their precious grandaughter get verbally and physically pounded half the night. So I go back to the room and relay the fact that her grandparents are here and they stayed in the guest room next to her room and apparently heard us all night. She started laughing and could care less about those two old geezers. She gets dressed and tells me we should go down and have breakfast with them and not to worry about it. Me: There's no fawking way i'm having breakfast with your granny and pawpaw after they heard me tell you that you are the worst nut sucker on the planet and you better get it right or i'm gonna have to make you lick my baloon knot as punishment.

 

She gets up and leaves me there. So I sat in her room by myself wondering the best way to escape without being seen. Her paw paw knocks on the door. Paw Paw: Come have some breakfast. I won't bite. I want to hear more about how much a whoore my daughter raised.

 

Wow. :lol:

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I was dating this chick who loved when I talked dirty to her. The more demeaning and vulgur I was to her, the more she got off on it. She asked me to choke fawk her once but I wouldn't do it. Should have ended the relationship right there but it was some good poosay. She was true crazy. Anyway, after a long night of drinking we go back to her parents house. Her parents were filthy rich and had this big house with a big pool and they were out of town. So we go swimming and continue drinking and eventually work our way to her bedroom. First thing out of her mouth. True Crazy: Tell me I'm a dirty fawking whoore! Make me tell the truth master! Me: You dirty filthy fawking whoore. Get on your hands and knees and put that big poosay in the air. I'm gonna fawk you from behind so I don't have to look at that slut face of yours tonight. So this goes on for hours and eventually we both pass out. The next morning I get up to go to the hallway bathroom and it smells like someone just took a whoore. True Crazy was still in bed and I know she hadn't gotten up. So as I go to investigate who the mystery sh!tter is since nobody is supposed to be home but us, I hear her grandmother talking on the phone and telling the other person about how they showed up a day early and what an intersting night her and grandpa had listening to their precious grandaughter get verbally and physically pounded half the night. So I go back to the room and relay the fact that her grandparents are here and they stayed in the guest room next to her room and apparently heard us all night. She started laughing and could care less about those two old geezers. She gets dressed and tells me we should go down and have breakfast with them and not to worry about it. Me: There's no fawking way i'm having breakfast with your granny and pawpaw after they heard me tell you that you are the worst nut sucker on the planet and you better get it right or i'm gonna have to make you lick my baloon knot as punishment.

 

She gets up and leaves me there. So I sat in her room by myself wondering the best way to escape without being seen. Her paw paw knocks on the door. Paw Paw: Come have some breakfast. I won't bite. I want to hear more about how much a whoore my daughter raised.

 

The crazy one's always fock the best :wub:

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I like getting them to beg for stuff. Like give em just the tip, and then "Do you want it? You have to ask me nicely, I can't hear you, Louder!" kinda stuff. Then when they do, throw down hard.

 

And I LOVE it when chicks talk dirty. Stuff like "I want to taste your cvm" = :banana:

Great! Now there's a giant wet spot in this thread. :ninja:

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Your mom is a smelly whooore, so I have to talk dirty to that b!tch as I am railing her ass.

This one gets my wife off EVERY TIME!

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I was dating this chick who loved when I talked dirty to her. The more demeaning and vulgur I was to her, the more she got off on it. She asked me to choke fawk her once but I wouldn't do it. Should have ended the relationship right there but it was some good poosay. She was true crazy. Anyway, after a long night of drinking we go back to her parents house. Her parents were filthy rich and had this big house with a big pool and they were out of town. So we go swimming and continue drinking and eventually work our way to her bedroom. First thing out of her mouth. True Crazy: Tell me I'm a dirty fawking whoore! Make me tell the truth master! Me: You dirty filthy fawking whoore. Get on your hands and knees and put that big poosay in the air. I'm gonna fawk you from behind so I don't have to look at that slut face of yours tonight. So this goes on for hours and eventually we both pass out. The next morning I get up to go to the hallway bathroom and it smells like someone just took a whoore. True Crazy was still in bed and I know she hadn't gotten up. So as I go to investigate who the mystery sh!tter is since nobody is supposed to be home but us, I hear her grandmother talking on the phone and telling the other person about how they showed up a day early and what an intersting night her and grandpa had listening to their precious grandaughter get verbally and physically pounded half the night. So I go back to the room and relay the fact that her grandparents are here and they stayed in the guest room next to her room and apparently heard us all night. She started laughing and could care less about those two old geezers. She gets dressed and tells me we should go down and have breakfast with them and not to worry about it. Me: There's no fawking way i'm having breakfast with your granny and pawpaw after they heard me tell you that you are the worst nut sucker on the planet and you better get it right or i'm gonna have to make you lick my baloon knot as punishment.

 

She gets up and leaves me there. So I sat in her room by myself wondering the best way to escape without being seen. Her paw paw knocks on the door. Paw Paw: Come have some breakfast. I won't bite. I want to hear more about how much a whoore my daughter raised.

 

Typical BB story. Nice HOWEVER why stop there ...... What happened next ??????

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Typical BB story. Nice HOWEVER why stop there ...... What happened next ??????

 

 

There was no way I was having breakfast with them after some of the sh!t both of us said through the night. She was one of those who say "Fawk me. Fawk me baby" over and over. I think I may have told her that "Your poosay looks like raw hamburger meat. You need to clean this sh!t up." a few times when I was going down on her. Fawking freak she was, she loved it.

 

When Paw Paw knocked on the door I didn't answer. True Crazy had told me they were really cool but how could I sit down and eat eggs with them after they heard me say "I'm gonna do sh!t to you that I wouldnt do to a dog." She was their princess. It even said so on her wall. She came back and told me everything was cool. They had gotten up and changed rooms at some point in the night and didn't hear everything. I would eventually have to face them but that day wasn't going to be the one. I snuck out the back.

 

A few weeks later I was invited to her dads company party they held every year for some BS. True Crazy told me that the only people there would be her parents, sister, and us. Of course Paw Paw and Granny are at the buffet table when we walk in. Granny stared at me all night but diddn't say a word to me. Couldn't figure out if she was jealous or wanted to shoot me twenty seven times. Paw Paw came up to me and asked if i wanted a refill on my drink. I walked with him to the bar, waiting for him to crack a joke. But all he said, with sly smile, "You weren't the first and you won't be the last." We then talked football the rest of the night. :shocking:

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I wanna hear some of things you said to the blind folded, chubby chick on your back porch that you were peeing on. Bring it.

 

:D

 

christ that was 2001 i think.

 

she was so nasty. god that was a fun time in my life.

 

I don't think i was too over the top with talk. I had her tied in the basement, holding a red plastic cup in her mouth and i pissed in it, and told her if she dropped it i was going to whip her fat ass till she couldn't sit. isn't that enough?

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