Do You Fart In Front Of Your Significant Other?

[BunnysBastatrds 2,336]

I have never purposely squeezed the cheese in front of the wifey. I've had a few accidentals but nothing major. Not even in the car on long road trips. I hold it to our next stop.

 

We also have never taken a sh!t with the other in the room. That's just nasty.

[titans&bucs&bearsohmy! 2,745]

Arabian goggles

[OldMaid 2,130]

I don't... but he does all the time.

 

The worst is when we'll be out shopping somewhere, and all of a sudden, I turn around and he's not there... and then I get a wiff of a really nasty smell... only to hear him laughing the next row over. AND of course, he always makes sure there's other people in the aisle, when he does it.

[IGotWorms 4,057]

Yes, but I really shouldn't. It's not very gentlemanly.

[TimmySmith 2,782]

The rainforest is not dwindling as fast as the people who I don't fart in front of.

[drobeski 3,061]

I don't... but he does all the time.

 

The worst is when we'll be out shopping somewhere, and all of a sudden, I turn around and he's not there... and then I get a wiff of a really nasty smell... only to hear him laughing the next row over. AND of course, he always makes sure there's other people in the aisle, when he does it.

do his farts smell like trojans ?

[OldMaid 2,130]

do his farts smell like trojans ?

[IGotWorms 4,057]

Condoms. Cuz he likes it in the butt.

 

Not all that funny but what do you expect from a semi-literate plumber?

[drobeski 3,061]

Condoms. Cuz he likes it in the butt.

 

Not all that funny but what do you expect from a semi-literate plumber?

Thanks for your critique, have any other ground breaking educational material to share with the board today ? Maybe the color of the sky ? Water being wet ?

[IGotWorms 4,057]

Thanks for your critique, have any other ground breaking educational material to share with the board today ? Maybe the color of the sky ? Water being wet ?

If I said water was wet, you'd find a way to quibble over it.

[penultimatestraw 473]

I'm with you Bunny. Why show less respect to your sig O than a complete stranger?

[smashmouths@blf 33]

I try not to. I want her to be somewhat attracted to me so she'll have sex. I can't imagine she has sex with someone as gross as me so I don't want to make it worse.

[JackARoot 2]

Only if her mouth is open at the time.

[Patriotsfatboy1 1,432]

All the time. It is dangerous to hold it in.

[shotsup 832]

All the time. It is dangerous to hold it in.

Same thing with jizz. Toxic. Not good to hold it in.

 

I don't do it on purpose but it happens.

 

I have a distinct scent that even my friends and their wives know it. Can be at a party and all of a sudden I hear ...... Ah Mike Shots Really ???? Not even if it was me - they know !

[Old School 360]

Can't do it. Of course, I've only been married a little over a year.

I will let one rip, at night, when she's asleep.

[shotsup 832]

I don't... but he does all the time.

 

Classy guy you have there kid. I may steal him from you when I get old and turn a ghey.

 

Alsonotreally

[OldMaid 2,130]

Classy guy you have there kid. I may steal him from you when I get old and turn a ghey.

Alsonotreally

What can I say... he's from PA.

[shotsup 832]

What can I say... he's from PA.

That says it all

 

Not the ghey part. That is on u.

 

[Herbivore 1,119]

I get it in the beginning, but after awhile just fart if you have to

[titans&bucs&bearsohmy! 2,745]

I usually take a fart walk and do it in another room. Or slip o it out silently and blame the cat.

[Thornton Melon 616]

I read the thread title and thought "How is this even a question?"

 

I put this along the same lines as: "Do you eat food?", "Do you have a pulse?", "Do you use the internet?", ya know, stuff like that...

[BunnysBastatrds 2,336]

I read the thread title and thought "How is this even a question?"

 

I put this along the same lines as: "Do you eat food?", "Do you have a pulse?", "Do you use the internet?", ya know, stuff like that...

I've got style, I've got class, Mrs Bunny hears nothing from my ass.

 

[shovelheadt 68]

Yep. Basically 3 places are off limits: The bed, dinner table and in a vehicle. Other than those, I release the hounds!

[Electric Mayhem 35]

Of course. If you ca't be comfortable and yourself with your spouse, you've got the wrong spouse.

 

She usually knows when I SBD because I giggle afterwards. Also I'll apologize if we're in bed or in the car and it's really bad and it hasn't hit her yet, because I'm a gentleman.

[dain11279 966]

Yes, we've always found it funny

[edjr 6,578]

When we were in the delivery room the other night, before it was "go" time, Alyssa's mom, sister and other sister was there and me. I walked outside the room and ripped the nastiest fart, then it followed me back into the room and I said "oh, sorry that might have followed me back in" they all started gagging and making puke faces and Alyssa grabbed the oxygen mask and put it back over her nose and mouth. One of the funniest moment that had to have even happened in a delivery room.

[shotsup 832]

I've got style, I've got class, Mrs Bunny hears nothing from my ass.

 

No you just leave nuggets for her to clean on the bathroom floor.

[BunnysBastatrds 2,336]

No you just leave nuggets for her to clean on the bathroom floor.

 

 

I've got nothin.

[Sho Nuff 720]

I fart in your general direction.

[5-Points 3,422]

When we were in the delivery room the other night, before it was "go" time, Alyssa's mom, sister and other sister was there and me. I walked outside the room and ripped the nastiest fart, then it followed me back into the room and I said "oh, sorry that might have followed me back in" they all started gagging and making puke faces and Alyssa grabbed the oxygen mask and put it back over her nose and mouth. One of the funniest moment that had to have even happened in a delivery room.

Ah yes, the ol' crop duster. Nothing worse than thinking you're in the clear only to learn that smell travels slightly slower than you.

 

My dog does that all the time. Only she's leaving the room after having farted. She knows what's about to happen.

[IGotWorms 4,057]

No you just leave nuggets for her to clean on the bathroom floor.

[Patriotsfatboy1 1,432]

I was in meetings all day with a large group. I went to my office and ripped a nice set. I went back to the conference room and I see one of the other people talking on his cell and he walked into my office to have an area to talk.

 

I have to find out if he is okay, but he already sent me an email that he will be late tomorrow.

[wiffleball 4,789]

I don't... but he does all the time.

 

The worst is when we'll be out shopping somewhere, and all of a sudden, I turn around and he's not there... and then I get a wiff of a really nasty smell... only to hear him laughing the next row over. AND of course, he always makes sure there's other people in the aisle, when he does it.

[wiffleball 4,789]

Lol

[Electric Mayhem 35]

Alyssa grabbed the oxygen mask and put it back over her nose and mouth.

That's awesome

[BunnysBastatrds 2,336]

 Anyone do a Dutch oven

[Beaker15 236]

My favorite thing to do when lying in bed is to put my hand in my underwear and fart which makes it amplified.  I then lick a finger on my other hand and pretend to smear the fart on her arm.  She instantly gets disgusted because it is wet.