Herbivore 909 Posted July 9, 2018 I was thinking about this over the last week. Have you ever dropped the poop paper into your pants? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
drobeski 3,061 Posted July 9, 2018 How do they spread their cheeks to properly clean ? Those weirdos must smell pretty focking awful Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
edjr 5,585 Posted July 9, 2018 really fat focks have no choice but to wipe from the front :gag: Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Sho Nuff 719 Posted July 9, 2018 You thought about other dudes whiping their ass this weekend? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
fandandy 3,311 Posted July 9, 2018 really fat focks have no choice but to wipe from the front :gag: You sit and wipe from the back? Rubbing all up your back and around your body to dispose between your legs? The proper way is sitting while wiping back to front from the front. A quick peak and drop into the toilet. Repeat as necessary followed up with wet wipes. You crazies are allowing way too many opportunities for the crap to be somewhere beside in the toilet. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Reality 2,710 Posted July 9, 2018 The logistics of this one will never make sense to me. There's no chance proper cleaning is happening while standing. And.. Fat folks.. Standing, sitting, it's gotta be a bad deal no matter how you go about it. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
WhiteWonder 2,179 Posted July 9, 2018 i have to assume that sitters are actually doing a little squat of sorts? otherwise, how do you get under there? especially you fatties. I stand. my ass is always over the toilet, ill wipe in both directions, then wet wipe. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
drobeski 3,061 Posted July 9, 2018 i have to assume that sitters are actually doing a little squat of sorts? otherwise, how do you get under there? especially you fatties. I stand. my ass is always over the toilet, ill wipe in both directions, then wet wipe. lean left Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Herbivore 909 Posted July 9, 2018 lean left this guy gets it. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
posty 2,296 Posted July 9, 2018 You sit and wipe from the back? Rubbing ###### all up your back and around your body to dispose between your legs? The proper way is sitting while wiping back to front from the front. A quick peak and drop into the toilet. Repeat as necessary followed up with wet wipes. You crazies are allowing way too many opportunities for the crap to be somewhere beside in the toilet. *peek Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Reality 2,710 Posted July 9, 2018 lean left Yup, maybe this requires more coordination then I am giving it credit for though. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
lickin_starfish 1,483 Posted July 9, 2018 Lean left, wipe right. Repeat 1,000 times until the brown streaks disappear. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Herbivore 909 Posted July 9, 2018 You thought about other dudes whiping their ass this weekend? yeah, somewhere in the middle of yet another slap fight you were having with the trump circle jerk crew Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
WhiteWonder 2,179 Posted July 9, 2018 lean left makes sense. I guess never was comfortable for me, but someone mentioned how standers could possibly get ass cheek spreadage to get fully cleaned and im not sure how leaning like that allows cheek spreading any better than standing. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
vuduchile 1,941 Posted July 9, 2018 makes sense. I guess never was comfortable for me, but someone mentioned how standers could possibly get ass cheek spreadage to get fully cleaned and im not sure how leaning like that allows cheek spreading any better than standing. It doesnt. Weve covered this before. The best way is to raise up slightly and squat over the bowl with your legs still spread. Standing straight up causes the sh!t sandwich you dont want any part of. Wipe front to back, then wet wipe as needed. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Mookz 1,287 Posted July 9, 2018 lean left That must have hurt to type. 2 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
KSB2424 3,085 Posted July 9, 2018 Well, you don't stand straight up, its more of a half stand, half squat position. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
edjr 5,585 Posted July 9, 2018 That must have hurt to type. Not as much as trying on a turtle neck Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
drobeski 3,061 Posted July 9, 2018 makes sense. I guess never was comfortable for me, but someone mentioned how standers could possibly get ass cheek spreadage to get fully cleaned and im not sure how leaning like that allows cheek spreading any better than standing. the left cheek stays in place therefore opening up the runway as you lift the right side into there air. Think about it..the lean has to be enough to get your hand with paper in between the seat and the right cheek allowing enough room for the action required of wiping. That's a lot of spread. Standing there can be no spread at all unless assisted. Disgusting...standing wipers automatically have remaining crap in there. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Herbivore 909 Posted July 9, 2018 the left cheek stays in place therefore opening up the runway as you lift the right side into there air. Think about it..the lean has to be enough to get your hand with paper in between the seat and the right cheek allowing enough room for the action required of wiping. That's a lot of spread. Standing there can be no spread at all unless assisted. Disgusting...standing wipers automatically have remaining crap in there. correct again! While it seems our stand up wipers are very diligent in getting all their crap, it must be more work. No one has addressed the paper drop potential hazard. Has anyone fallen over while stand wiping? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
tanatastic 2,061 Posted July 9, 2018 I stand, tried to sit many times but its just not thorough. Plus I use baby wipes with dry wipes alternate til my cornhole is so clean its ready for Newbie. Wet wipes are mandatory and you arent clean if you dont use them. Ive said this gem in other threads but Ill repeat it here...pretend you got poop on any other part of your body...would you clean it with just a dry wipe or would you use a wet? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
shotsup 832 Posted July 9, 2018 I had a big dude coworker years back and he fell off his roof and shattered his left arm and hand. Cast / brace the whole bit. When I visited him I asked how is he doing and he said better but the worst part of it is he just can't teach himself to wipe his ass with his right hand. I let that go. Didn't need more details. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Hardcore troubadour 12,695 Posted July 9, 2018 I assume you sitters have never shite in the woods. All real men have at some point. 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
drobeski 3,061 Posted July 9, 2018 I assume you sitters have never shite in the woods. All real men have at some point.so you stand at home to make yourself feel manly ? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
edjr 5,585 Posted July 9, 2018 so you stand at home to make yourself feel manly ? I ###### in the woods, once. Had a few too many fries and beers before golf. I wouldn't call it standing. (i have a 1/2 roll of TP in the golf bag, it's in zip lock bag, ever have since that day) still haven't needed it Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
fandandy 3,311 Posted July 9, 2018 I assume you sitters have never shite in the woods. All real men have at some point. I have, but there's lots of things I do differently than when camping. For instance, at home I don't keep my food in a cooler or bathe in the river. 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
edjr 5,585 Posted July 9, 2018 I have, but there's lots of things I do differently than when camping. For instance, at home I don't keep my food in a cooler or bathe in the river. where do you get your wifi? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
cyclone24 1,814 Posted July 9, 2018 You guys wipe? Pfft...poosys. Use that lavender scented soft ass shitt on your bleached aholes? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Patriotsfatboy1 1,432 Posted July 9, 2018 You sit and wipe from the back? Rubbing ###### all up your back and around your body to dispose between your legs? The proper way is sitting while wiping back to front from the front. A quick peak and drop into the toilet. Repeat as necessary followed up with wet wipes. You crazies are allowing way too many opportunities for the crap to be somewhere beside in the toilet. I guess you don't have balls then. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
WhiteWonder 2,179 Posted July 9, 2018 Well, you don't stand straight up, its more of a half stand, half squat position. this. i dont stand striaght up Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
fandandy 3,311 Posted July 9, 2018 Although this is like the third time we have had this conversation I'm still amazed there are so many cave people who crouch over the toilet to wipe their ass. So odd. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
edjr 5,585 Posted July 9, 2018 when I know it's going to snow over night or be really cold, I stand up my wipers 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
edjr 5,585 Posted July 9, 2018 Well, you don't stand straight up, its more of a half stand, half squat position. Like how your idol Lebron pisses Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
tanatastic 2,061 Posted July 9, 2018 Although this is like the third time we have had this conversation I'm still amazed there are so many cave people who crouch over the toilet to wipe their ass. So odd. When I stand, I’m facing the bowl and ass is pointed away from the toilet. I need full range to wipe and inspect. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
fandandy 3,311 Posted July 9, 2018 I bet the first time you guys saw a bidet you washed your hands in it. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
shotsup 832 Posted July 9, 2018 I bet the first time you guys saw a bidet you washed your hands in it. Son thought it was a water fountain in his aunts house Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
MDC 5,902 Posted July 9, 2018 Wouldnt standing force your butt cheeks together, squashing the sh1t residue between your cheeks like a sloppy tied pancake? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Patriotsfatboy1 1,432 Posted July 9, 2018 I bet the first time you guys saw a bidet you washed your hands in it. The SuperDome has (had?) hand-washing stations in the middle of the bathrooms that many New England fans were pissing troughs like Fenway used to have when we were at the SB in 2002. I was shaking my head every time I went to take a leak that day. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Hardcore troubadour 12,695 Posted July 9, 2018 The SuperDome has (had?) hand-washing stations in the middle of the bathrooms that many New England fans were pissing troughs like Fenway used to have when we were at the SB in 2002. I was shaking my head every time I went to take a leak that day. B.S. New England trash knew what it was. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites