The Bacon Tree

[NorthernVike 2,080]

Bacon Tree

 

Two Mexicans are stuck in the desert after crossing into the United States , wandering aimlessly and starving. They are about to just lie down and wait for death, when all of a sudden Luis says.........

 

"Hey Pepe, do you smell what I smell. Ees bacon, I theenk."

 

"Si, Luis, eet sure smells like bacon. "

 

With renewed hope they struggle up the next sand dune, & there, in the distance, is a tree loaded with bacon.

 

There's raw bacon, there's fried bacon, back bacon, double smoked bacon ... every imaginable kind of cured pork.

 

"Pepe, Pepe, we ees saved. Ees a bacon tree."

 

"Luis, maybe ees a meerage? We ees in the desert don't forget."

 

"Pepe, since when deed you ever hear of a meerage that smell like bacon...ees no meerage, ees a bacon tree."

 

And with that, Luis staggers towards the tree. He gets to within 5 metres, Pepe crawling close behind, when suddenly a machine gun opens up, and Luis drops like a wet sock. Mortally wounded, he warns Pepe with his dying breath,

 

"Pepe... go back man, you was right, ees not a bacon tree!"

 

"Luis, Luis mi amigo... what ees it? "

 

"Pepe.. ees not a bacon tree. Ees

 

 

Ees

 

 

Ees

 

 

Ees

 

 

 

Ees a ham bush...."

 

 

[NorthernVike 2,080]

WTF? It's a bacon thread and I can't get a single focking response.

[Call me...Tim? 0]

WTF? It's a bacon thread and I can't get a single focking response.

 

 

That was a lot of post for such little humor.

[NorthernVike 2,080]

That was a lot of post for such little humor.

 

 

Read it again. This time with a messican accent.

[Call me...Tim? 0]

Read it again. This time with a messican accent.

 

 

:console:

[TD Ryan2 314]

I wanted to like it... I really did.

[TheNewGirl 1,031]

Did someone say bacon?

[Saint Elistan 106]

I chorlted.

[GutterBoy 2,281]

I really hope for your sake you didn't type all that out. If I typed all that out and resulting joke was that, I would pull my pants down, shove my d in drawer and slam it shut repeatedly while singing "I wanna sex you up" by Color me Badd. I'd take video and upload it to youtube, then tie a safe to my ankle and jump in a river.

[NorthernVike 2,080]

:console:

[edjr 5,567]

gfiafp tells a better story

[TD Ryan2 314]

:redtodd:

[NorthernVike 2,080]

gfiafp tells a better story

[GutterBoy 2,281]

bump

[drobeski 3,061]

bump

we get it gutter, youre ghey, we get it..................

[tikigods 76]

gfiafp tells a better story

 

[sgumm23 2]

gfiafp tells a better story

 

yes and that joke would've been in three separate posts.

[pimptastic69 0]

Anyone remember those commercials where the Juicy Fruit gum grew on trees?

 

 

 

That was awesome. I always wanted one of those trees.

[Mookz 1,287]

An interesting idea and definitely worthy of discussion, but ultimately I think a fence/wall is far more practical.

 

ETA:

<-------BLADDOW!!

[peenie 1,690]

a white man, a black man, and a chinese man were walking through the desert.

 

a rancher was sitting on his front porch that evening when he saw the white man walk toward him. the rancher noticed that the white man was carrying a canteen of water. the rancher said, “why are you doing carrying that canteen of water?”

 

the white man explained that since he had a long way to go, he might get thirsty.

 

a little while later the rancher noticed the chinese man walking toward him with a loaf of bread in his hand. “what are you doing?” asked the rancher again.

 

the chinese man explained that since he had a long way to go, he might get hungry and that’s why he had the bread.

 

finally the black man appeared, dragging a car door through the sand. more curious than ever, the rancher asked, “hey, why are you dragging that car door?”

 

“well,” he said, “i have a long way to go, so if it gets too hot, I’ll roll down the window.”

[NorthernVike 2,080]

[Secret Asian Man 26]

Great. Another turkey thread.

[NorthernVike 2,080]

Great. Another turkey thread.

Turkey bacon is not real bacon.

[BiPolarBear 476]

Mexican twin boys are born. They name the first one Jose. What do they name the second twin?

 

 

...wait for it...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Hose B!!

[star69 5]

Two Messicans, Pedro and Rico are walking thru the desert. Rico smells something awful and asks Pedro, "Did you crap in our pants?" Pedro says, "No!" They continue and the smell significantly worsens promting Rico to ask again, "Hey Pedro, did you crap your pants?" Pedro indignantly replies, "No way,man!" As they nar the village the smell is revolting, the air is clouding up with all the flies hovering around Pedro. Rico lifts the back of Pedro"s shirt, finding lotsa poo on the lower back. He then pulled down Pedro's pants. Poo all over his bum and smeared all over his legs. Rico is very mad and yells,"Pedro! You said that you didn'y crap in your pants!!!" Pedro says, "Oh sorry man, I thought you meant today."

[nikki2200 4]

An Arab, Frenchman, American and a Mexican are riding down the highway. The Arab picks up an AK-47. He shoots a couple of rounds and then throws the gun out the window. The American asks him why he threw the gun out the window and the Arab says they have so many of those where he is from he doesn't care about what happens to them.

 

The Frenchman picks up a bottle of wine and drinks a little and throws it out the window. The American asks him why the tossed it and the Frenchman says they have so much of it where he is from he doesn't care what happens to it.

 

The American picks up the Mexican and throws him out the window.

[NorthernVike 2,080]

:banana: :banana:

[OldMaid 1,838]

I thought it was a ham bush.

[crackattack 513]

I love that focking joke!

[kutulu 1,545]

this bacon bit is getting old.

[NorthernVike 2,080]

this bacon bit is getting old.

Mmmmmmmm bacon bits.

[SUXBNME 1,335]

I'm with legless McHop. I still love this joke.

 

NV's claim to fame here.

[MDC 5,892]

[tanatastic 2,061]

Not a good day for GC joke threads...cant recall a worse one really. comedy has been set back a few years today and this necro hammers that home.

[Bert 1,091]

[jerryskids 5,206]

Not a good day for GC joke threads...cant recall a worse one really. comedy has been set back a few years today and this necro hammers that home.

If you can't appreciate the juvenile genius of the bacon tree joke, this may not be the right place for you.

[tanatastic 2,061]

If you can't appreciate the juvenile genius of the bacon tree joke, this may not be the right place for you.

I can appreciate it at its root but refer to the "graph I made" thread to see why I opposed.

[ROCKFORD 134]

what's the difference between christopher columbus and captian morgan?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

captain morgan is still killing indians.