Herbivore 920 Posted July 9, 2018 I assume you sitters have never shite in the woods. All real men have at some point. I don't think I have done this Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Cruzer 1,993 Posted July 9, 2018 I don't trust people who: * don't like dogs * don't like steak * stand up to wipe. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Hardcore troubadour 13,028 Posted July 9, 2018 I don't trust people who: * don't like dogs * don't like steak * stand up to wipe. Where did you go when the coyote was bringing you across? Or are you an anchor baby? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Cruzer 1,993 Posted July 9, 2018 Where did you go when the coyote was bringing you across? Or are you an anchor baby? Meh, D+. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Reality 2,711 Posted July 9, 2018 When I stand, I’m facing the bowl and ass is pointed away from the toilet. I need full range to wipe and inspect. I can't even do the math on what it takes to get this sort of maneuver accomplished. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
KSB2424 3,087 Posted July 9, 2018 At the next Geek Meat, I'll do a demonstration. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Herbivore 920 Posted July 9, 2018 At the next Geek Meat, I'll do a demonstration. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
WhiteWonder 2,246 Posted July 9, 2018 I can't even do the math on what it takes to get this sort of maneuver accomplished. you have trouble standing? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Reality 2,711 Posted July 9, 2018 you have trouble standing? He's doing a little more than standing, all with sh!t squished between his ass cheeks. HTH Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
tanatastic 2,061 Posted July 9, 2018 He's doing a little more than standing, all with sh!t squished between his ass cheeks. HTH I need full range to both access my wiping tools and inspect the poop festering in the toilet. I need range of motion to get multiple ang,es of wiping such as the bunched up thrust and downward thumb chop. Takes at least 5-10 wipes per crap. Other rigid people here Im sure have a simple system of 2 squares neatly folded, 2 sitting wipes and done, regardless of cleanliness. You simply are not clean until you wipe and NOTHING shows up. In fact you still arent clean until you go over with a wet wipe and another dry wipe. Theres no crap squished between the cheeks. Do you start to wipe while a log is hanging out still or something? Id put my ass up against anyone here for cleanliness after a dump. Could even have Newbie do a taste teste to be sure. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
MDC 6,013 Posted July 9, 2018 Anybody here a standing wiper AND a crumpler??? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
the s is ilent 69 Posted July 9, 2018 $hit, shower, shave. This is probably the only bored, in the history of boreds, that has biannual discussions about taking a dump. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
tanatastic 2,061 Posted July 9, 2018 Anybody here a standing wiper AND a crumpler??? Absolutely a crumpler. I can’t do the neat and tidy 1 fold wipe. I need ridges and crevices. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Reality 2,711 Posted July 9, 2018 I need full range to both access my wiping tools and inspect the poop festering in the toilet. I need range of motion to get multiple ang,es of wiping such as the bunched up thrust and downward thumb chop. Takes at least 5-10 wipes per crap. Other rigid people here Im sure have a simple system of 2 squares neatly folded, 2 sitting wipes and done, regardless of cleanliness. You simply are not clean until you wipe and NOTHING shows up. In fact you still arent clean until you go over with a wet wipe and another dry wipe. Theres no crap squished between the cheeks. Do you start to wipe while a log is hanging out still or something? Id put my ass up against anyone here for cleanliness after a dump. Could even have Newbie do a taste teste to be sure. The 2 bolded statements don't add up. Do you grab both ass cheeks and spread them as you perform the pirouette? No disrespect here, just trying to understand. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
MDC 6,013 Posted July 9, 2018 Absolutely a crumpler. I cant do the neat and tidy 1 fold wipe. I need ridges and crevices. Dont you end up creating a crap smeared oragami swan? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
tanatastic 2,061 Posted July 9, 2018 The 2 bolded statements don't add up. Do you grab both ass cheeks and spread them as you perform the pirouette? No disrespect here, just trying to understand. Ok there’s residual stuff sure, but usually no chunks that are going to fall off. If there is, I’ll hover over the toilet and wipe once to get anything major out the way before standing, turning and starting the main wiping. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
tanatastic 2,061 Posted July 9, 2018 Dont you end up creating a crap smeared oragami swan? Yea sometimes it can resemble that. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Reality 2,711 Posted July 9, 2018 Ok there’s residual stuff sure, but usually no chunks that are going to fall off. If there is, I’ll hover over the toilet and wipe once to get anything major out the way before standing, turning and starting the main wiping. Well, you've got a system and it seems to work for you. Just seems like a lot of extra work. Leaning to the left has always worked for me, understood on the wipes as well, good way to really clean it up back there. I'm a relatively normal guy, sh!t then shower most mornings. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
BunnysBastatrds 1,961 Posted July 9, 2018 i have to assume that sitters are actually doing a little squat of sorts? otherwise, how do you get under there? especially you fatties. I stand. my ass is always over the toilet, ill wipe in both directions, then wet wipe. This/ Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
BunnysBastatrds 1,961 Posted July 9, 2018 Anybody here a standing wiper AND a crumpler??? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
titans&bucs&bearsohmy! 2,745 Posted July 9, 2018 lean left Im surprised you would lean to the left even in this. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
tanatastic 2,061 Posted July 9, 2018 Im surprised you would lean to the left even in this. It’s a bluff, he won’t even make a left turn in his car to go to the grocery store. I’ve imagined how Drobs would take a crap many times. Sitting there very rigid, scowl on his face to preserve an air of manliness even though no one is watching. Sits to wipe, 2 squares folded over, two wipes, no more, regardless of how much poop is left. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
drobeski 3,061 Posted July 9, 2018 Im surprised you would lean to the left even in this.its the only reason to Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
drobeski 3,061 Posted July 9, 2018 You know who else wipes standing up ? Down syndrome kids do. True story, Google it. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
tanatastic 2,061 Posted July 9, 2018 its the only reason to This reminds me of the movie fever pitch where the Sox fan wipes with yankee toilet paper. You could find some kind of DNC or political paper Im sure. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
drobeski 3,061 Posted July 9, 2018 This reminds me of the movie fever pitch where the Sox fan wipes with yankee toilet paper. You could find some kind of DNC or political paper Im sure.nyt or the Boston globe will do Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
MDC 6,013 Posted July 9, 2018 You know who else wipes standing up ? Down syndrome kids do. True story, Google it. Not sure we have the same taste in pron. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Gladiators 1,914 Posted July 10, 2018 This thread delivers Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
WhiteWonder 2,246 Posted July 10, 2018 Absolutely a crumpler. I can’t do the neat and tidy 1 fold wipe. I need ridges and crevices. same here. I never understood the need to fold? people act like crumpling is weird but what exactly are you going to do with your neatly folded TP? wipe with one side then turn it over and wipe with the other side ? .... i guess i don't crumple or fold. I just grab some wadded up TP and wipe. I dont put much thought into it. It's getting used for one swipe Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
WhiteWonder 2,246 Posted July 10, 2018 He's doing a little more than standing, all with sh!t squished between his ass cheeks. HTH why on earth would shit be squished between anyones ass cheeks? what kind of shits are you guys taking? your asshole is pointed into the bowl, how are you getting THAT much shit caked between your cheeks? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
vuduchile 1,941 Posted July 10, 2018 same here. I never understood the need to fold? people act like crumpling is weird but what exactly are you going to do with your neatly folded TP? wipe with one side then turn it over and wipe with the other side ? .... i guess i don't crumple or fold. I just grab some wadded up TP and wipe. I dont put much thought into it. It's getting used for one swipe Folding is neater and cleaner all the way around. Theres no way you can reach the necessary wiping PSI with a crumpled wad and keep the sh!t off your fingers. 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
vuduchile 1,941 Posted July 10, 2018 why on earth would shit be squished between anyones ass cheeks? what kind of shits are you guys taking? your asshole is pointed into the bowl, how are you getting THAT much shit caked between your cheeks? Men have hairy azzholes. All dumps are not created equal. A clean wipe dump is like winning a parlay. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
wiffleball 4,693 Posted July 10, 2018 Absolutely a crumpler. I cant do the neat and tidy 1 fold wipe. I need ridges and crevices. Yeah, I'm not doing origami in there. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
MDC 6,013 Posted July 10, 2018 why on earth would shit be squished between anyones ass cheeks? what kind of shits are you guys taking? your asshole is pointed into the bowl, how are you getting THAT much shit caked between your cheeks? After you take a dump when you wipe there is on the paper right? Well that is on your ass hole when you finish crapping. When you stand up before wiping it turns into a Rorschach test between your ass cheeks. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
fandandy 3,312 Posted July 10, 2018 After you take a dump when you wipe there is ###### on the paper right? Well that ###### is on your ass hole when you finish crapping. When you stand up before wiping it turns into a Rorschach test between your ass cheeks. Right, and they just grab a fist full of toilet paper and go at it like a toddler dusting. Neanderthals. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Herbivore 920 Posted July 10, 2018 same here. I never understood the need to fold? people act like crumpling is weird but what exactly are you going to do with your neatly folded TP? wipe with one side then turn it over and wipe with the other side ? .... i guess i don't crumple or fold. I just grab some wadded up TP and wipe. I dont put much thought into it. It's getting used for one swipe The stand up wipe I can kind of understand, though definitely more potentially hazardous. Crumple wiping..no way. The paper is going to unCrumple as you pull away. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Drizzay 651 Posted July 10, 2018 I thought this thread would be about those people that stand up their windshield wipers before a snow storm, so they don't freeze stuck. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
edjr 5,776 Posted July 10, 2018 when I know it's going to snow over night or be really cold, I stand up my wipers I thought this thread would be about those people that stand up their windshield wipers before a snow storm, so they don't freeze stuck. take a lap Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Reality 2,711 Posted July 10, 2018 why on earth would shit be squished between anyones ass cheeks? what kind of shits are you guys taking? your asshole is pointed into the bowl, how are you getting THAT much shit caked between your cheeks? He is not only standing up but, turning around and facing the toilet.. Did you even read his post? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
shotsup 832 Posted July 10, 2018 Back to crumbling Had a friend that worked facilities and her boss wanted her to send out an email asking employees how many squares they use while wiping. True story. She was embarrassed to do it but she did. Answers varied. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites