Need a ruling please.

[titans&bucs&bearsohmy! 2,745]

So yesterday, the girlfriend hung out all day. Fell asleep on the couch. Said she needed to go back to the dorm at seven. I woke her up at 6:30 and she said "never mind, I'll leave later."

 

"I said, no, I have plans now, so I have to go." Took her home. You could tell she was irked.

 

I asked what she was doing last night. She said she wouldn't tell me.

 

Judging from her social media babble, her and a friend (female) went to a burlesque club and got hammered.

 

Then they went to the meet market (same one I met her at) and ended up doing shots with some strange foreign dudes they met.

 

She starts blowing me up at 4:00 am that she's really drunk, and these guys are scary. So I told her I'd come out there (I was expressly not invited originally) and take care of them.

 

She said no, they just left and are back at a hotel. As proof, she sends me a pic of her, her friend, and some dude, supposedly a friend of hers. The female friend was damn near naked. Robe open, everything showing.

 

Last night, I was mostly concerned with her safety. Gave her a lecture about what can happen to dumbass girls drinking with strangers.

 

Today, I am rather p!ssed off. Have been ignoring her messages all day.

 

So what say ye? Am I in the right to be p!ssed here? I'm figuring we have a wicked fight later.

[wiffleball 4,640]

Unless there is a level of commitment that you have left out of virtually and literally Every single post Heretofore, You have no right to be pissed. Shut the f****** and enjoy Being single. You can't have it both ways. She is obviously trying to get a rise out of you. Are you that f****** clueless Captain Lothario?

 

Worried my ass, You're just plain jealous and f****** insecure.

[wiffleball 4,640]

Seriously man, You're too f****** old for this juvenile b*******.

 

You want to play with teenage whoars? Expect the outcome.

[titans&bucs&bearsohmy! 2,745]

Unless there is a level of commitment that you have left out of virtually and literally Every single post Heretofore, You have no right to be pissed. Shut the f****** and enjoy Being single. You can't have it both ways. She is obviously trying to get a rise out of you. Are you that f****** clueless Captain Lothario?

 

Worried my ass, You're just plain jelous and f****** insecure.

Oh no, this one is a girlfriend and promises of fidelity have been made. And kept on my end, even through clear chances.

 

It's not insecure or jealousy. Honestly, it's more that I am annoyed at the utter lack of respect or consideration. I'm sure half my friends were there to see her little party. Hell, I probably know the "random scary foreign dudes."

 

She seems to think she can just never make plans, invite me or not at the last minute, and I'll be cool. Last weekend we ended up at the same bar, with our respective friends, and she pretended not to know me until finally one of her friends said something like "your boyfriend is over there." The others didn't even know we were together.

 

It certainly isn't something I'm broken up about. But I'm damn sure gonna let her know that sh!t ain't gonna fly.

 

I guarantee if I went out to a strip club, then got hammered with two random sluts, she would be livid.

[wiffleball 4,640]

So why didnt you call her out at the bar then and there?

 

Wait a minute, I'd like to see what Ken8080 thinks I should do....

 

Like I said, too effing old...

[nobody 2,040]

Already too much drama. Just cut her loose.

[Chronic Husker 85]

Already too much drama. Just cut her loose.

+1

[titans&bucs&bearsohmy! 2,745]

So why didnt you call her out at the bar then and there?

Wait a minute, I'd like to see what Ken8080 thinks I should do....

Like I said, too effing old...

I wasn't at the bar. Never went.

 

I'm just dying to determine if I am justified in being irritated, or being a b!tch.

 

Hell, I'm leaving for two months next week anyway.

[Patriotsfatboy1 1,432]

I think it was answered before. If you are going to be hanging around your girls, expect this drama. She may not be ready for the fidelity stuff.

[Voltaire 4,559]

I'm shocked that your slutty gf is slutty.

[Mungwater 588]

too much drama on either side, pass

[Mungwater 588]

I wasn't at the bar. Never went.

 

I'm just dying to determine if I am justified in being irritated, or being a b!tch.

 

Hell, I'm leaving for two months next week anyway.

You're being a b!tch.. If it was your wife, sure, but how many "girlfriends" have you had in the last six months?

 

I think you have to be single and happy with yourself first.

[TimmySmith 2,782]

Ground her.

[Djgb13 2,338]

Already too much drama. Just cut her loose.

Seriously I cannot express this enough. I've dated multiple girls who would do just this. Get out of it. The poosay is not worth it. This girl just wants to have fun whether she admits it to you or not. Her promises of monogamy are lies and you will just get dragged down in it.

[Meglamaniac 380]

He who cares the least, will be the happiest.

 

Unless you have visions of a lifelong relationship, have fun, don't give a ratsa$$ what she does but make sure she understands you have no obligation to help/respond when she finds herself in trouble.

[IGotWorms 3,315]

Sounds to me like she isn't girlfriend material.

[Cruzer 1,992]

This is the consequence of dating 20 year olds... They are the same over the pond just as they are here - an ocean doesn't make that go away.

[wiffleball 4,640]

The crane position only works If your opponent runs face-first into your foot.

[Strike 3,975]

Let me get this straight. You're a 40 something dude with a "girlfriend" who lives in a dorm and you're pissed that she's acting like..........................well, a girl that lives in a dorm?

 

Do I have the facts correct?

[titans&bucs&bearsohmy! 2,745]

Let me get this straight. You're a 40 something dude with a "girlfriend" who lives in a dorm and you're pissed that she's acting like..........................well, a girl that lives in a dorm?

 

Do I have the facts correct?

Except I'm thirty something, yeah, pretty much.

 

Ok. Message received. Thanks fellas.

[TD Ryan2 314]

you're dysfunctional

she's dysfunctional

 

"I asked her where she was and she wouldn't tell me"... I think you two retahds like this game... it makes you feel cool/special/relevant... you're stars on your own soap-opera and occasionally the plot revolves around you two and all your friends are calling, talking, and offering "support" and opinions.

 

Here's my "ruling" (this is what you asked for):

Decide if you want things to be different than this. And if you do, find a girl that isn't completely focked up in the head, someone who shares similar goals and values as you do... and decide together that you'll be supportive and respectful of each other - no more "games" and all this juvenile sh!t you're both doing while pretending to be adults.

[Patriotsfatboy1 1,432]

WTF is going on here? This is totally focking unacceptable!!!

 

 

 

 

Can size????!!!!

[Cruzer 1,992]

she's dysfunctional

I'm not sure I'd say she's dysfunctional - I'd say she's a 20 something year old girl, that's what they do.

[porkbutt 861]

[Strike 3,975]

I'm not sure I'd say she's dysfunctional - I'd say she's a 20 something year old girl, that's what they do.

 

And isn't that what we WANTED them to do when we were that age? Or even now? Titans has been bragging about all the tail he can pick up over there. Well, the reason that happens is because they act like your "girlfriend" is acting now. Now that he wants to settle down with one he's upset that they act that way.

[TD Ryan2 314]

I'm not sure I'd say she's dysfunctional - I'd say she's a 20 something year old girl, that's what they do.

respectfully disagree.

playhing the "game" with her "boyfriend' of "I'm going out and don't want you to go".... or "won't tell you where"... and 4am crisis, etc.

She's dysfunctional.

[drobeski 3,061]

[Cruzer 1,992]

respectfully disagree.

playhing the "game" with her "boyfriend' of "I'm going out and don't want you to go".... or "won't tell you where"... and 4am crisis, etc.

She's dysfunctional.

If you're a 30 something year old man, dating a 20 something year old girl, and expect her to respect her to act like a responsible grown ass woman - she's not the problem.

[TD Ryan2 314]

If you're a 30 something year old man, dating a 20 something year old girl, and expect her to respect her to act like a responsible grown ass woman - she's not the problem.

OK - I can see that.

It's why i labeled them both dysfunctional though.

[FeelingMN 273]

She no love you long time.

 

You get fooled round eye.

[NorthernVike 2,080]

Our Geek Club Player is getting played

[tanatastic 2,061]

Its fine, let it go. She went out and partied with her friends, it happens.

[cyclone24 1,814]

So are you irked because you don't believe she's telling the truth of what she was doing or irked because you weren't invited / last minute invited to stuff?

 

If it's the first I'd ask if her words match what she actually does. Even if it's something stupid like going out with girls, doing shots with dudes, etc. If she's up front about even the dumb things...probably ok. If she's saying she's doing one thing, then you find out she did another...that's a pretty big red flag.

 

If it's the second...yeah that's annoying but she's young...relationship courtesy isn't something a young woman or man is particularly good at.

[titans&bucs&bearsohmy! 2,745]

 

And isn't that what we WANTED them to do when we were that age? Or even now? Titans has been bragging about all the tail he can pick up over there. Well, the reason that happens is because they act like your "girlfriend" is acting now. Now that he wants to settle down with one he's upset that they act that way.

Whoa whoa. Nobody said anything about settling down.

 

But yeah, you guys are 100% right. I have what I bargained for. I either deal with it or cut bait.

 

Thanks guys.

 

And of course I'm dysfunctional. I thought we established that years ago.

[Baker Boy 1,485]

I've been waiting to see how long it will take for you to realize that you are dealing with whores.

[5-Points 2,729]

As proof, she sends me a pic of her, her friend, and some dude, supposedly a friend of hers. The female friend was damn near naked. Robe open, everything showing.

 

So what say ye?

You should post the pic so we have a better idea of what was going on. Your description is kinda vague.

[BLS 313]

So yesterday, the girlfriend hung out all day. Fell asleep on the couch. Said she needed to go back to the dorm at seven. I woke her up at 6:30 and she said "never mind, I'll leave later."

 

"I said, no, I have plans now, so I have to go." Took her home. You could tell she was irked.

 

I asked what she was doing last night. She said she wouldn't tell me.

 

Judging from her social media babble, her and a friend (female) went to a burlesque club and got hammered.

 

Then they went to the meet market (same one I met her at) and ended up doing shots with some strange foreign dudes they met.

 

She starts blowing me up at 4:00 am that she's really drunk, and these guys are scary. So I told her I'd come out there (I was expressly not invited originally) and take care of them.

 

She said no, they just left and are back at a hotel. As proof, she sends me a pic of her, her friend, and some dude, supposedly a friend of hers. The female friend was damn near naked. Robe open, everything showing.

 

Last night, I was mostly concerned with her safety. Gave her a lecture about what can happen to dumbass girls drinking with strangers.

 

Today, I am rather p!ssed off. Have been ignoring her messages all day.

 

So what say ye? Am I in the right to be p!ssed here? I'm figuring we have a wicked fight later.

 

I highlighted where you focked up.

 

If she wants to come over and suck ya at 4am, that's one thing, but no way am I gonna go 'save you' at 4am from a bunch of creepy drunk foreigners.

You were being tested, and you failed. Miserably.

 

You can expect her to keep you as a side thing, maybe.

Don't expect a relationship out of it from here though.

[titans&bucs&bearsohmy! 2,745]

So are you irked because you don't believe she's telling the truth of what she was doing or irked because you weren't invited / last minute invited to stuff?

 

If it's the first I'd ask if her words match what she actually does. Even if it's something stupid like going out with girls, doing shots with dudes, etc. If she's up front about even the dumb things...probably ok. If she's saying she's doing one thing, then you find out she did another...that's a pretty big red flag.

 

If it's the second...yeah that's annoying but she's young...relationship courtesy isn't something a young woman or man is particularly good at.

Oh I believe her. Hell, she's Asian. Pretty much the whole damn night is documented on her focking social media wall. Most of it in video.

 

 

Bottom line, I have always liked to pretend I am quite rational. But I don't do that well when it comes to women. I know it and I hate it. So I wanted a second opinion.

[titans&bucs&bearsohmy! 2,745]

 

I highlighted where you focked up.

 

If she wants to come over and suck ya at 4am, that's one thing, but no way am I gonna go 'save you' at 4am from a bunch of creepy drunk foreigners.

You were being tested, and you failed. Miserably.

 

You can expect her to keep you as a side thing, maybe.

Don't expect a relationship out of it from here though.

I never claimed to be good at this game. I'm learning sh!t most guys figured out in high school.

[TD Ryan2 314]

I never claimed to be good at this game. I'm learning sh!t most guys figured out in high school.

glad you see it like this - this is a good thing then... you're on your way to being cured from your dysfunction then.

 

and I guess you're right - it is part of the growth arc:

- can't meet girls, missing out on all the fun

- start to get more comfortable, meeting girls

- confident in "the game" and up for every type of ass and insanity around

- getting tired of it all, same bars, bands, girls, drinks, etc

- decide you want something more meaningful and permanent

 

not everyone gets there... and not everyone should either... different folks/strokes/etc... and some almost get there but then still feel like they're "missing out" on all the ass and insanity... even though it's exactly the same as it was when they left it.

 

the endgame is for you to be happy (and safe)... but primarily, happy.

if you like what's going on and want more of it, by all means - get after it.

if you don't like it and want to change it, then do it... decide... but don't fail to committ to it and then complain when things don't get better.