Game of Thrones (no spoilers)

[edjr 6,608]

Little Finger should throw Sansa in the dungeon where Tyrion was and take her for some sex and throw her back

[CantTouchThis 23]

Welp, visiting my dad and he doesn't have HBO, so I was looking across the internets for the episode before I realized there wasn't one.

[edjr 6,608]

Welp, visiting my dad and he doesn't have HBO, so I was looking across the internets for the episode before I realized there wasn't one.

 

Can't afford a tablet?

[edjr 6,608]

even snoop dogg watches.

 

 

[posty 2,713]

Meet The New Characters Who Will Join Game Of Thrones In Season 5

 

http://io9.com/meet-the-new-characters-who-will-join-game-of-thrones-i-1580662086

 

It's usually a pretty safe bet that not all of the stars of Game of Thrones will survive though the season finale, and as always, more new players will arrive next season to replenish the ranks. Based on the casting info, here are the new faces that will be joining season 5.

 

These characters will be familiar to those who have read the books, but there are a few new details and changes, too. Courtesy of Winter Is Coming:

 

 

• Prince Doran Martell – Doran is described as the major new player this year, appearing in multiple episodes. The fiftysomething prince uses a wheelchair, is reclusive and rules wisely. It appears the show is looking to continue the trend it started with Pedro Pascal, and cast Latino actors for the Martell clan.
• Prince Trystane Martell – Trystane, the handsome fiance of Princess Myrcella, is being aged up to 18.
• Areo Hotah - Doran's personal bodyguard will appear throughout the season, assisting the prince with his duties. The show is particularly looking for a black actor to fill the role.
• Obara Sand – The eldest and most athletic Sand Snake will be having a major fight scene with a series regular character- not one who crosses her path in the books. This is an interesting change.
• Nymeria Sand – Nymeria is described as "mixed race," with her father being the fairer Oberyn and her mother being darker skinned. The second oldest of these Sand Snakes, she's beautiful, emotional and very strong. [That's her above, as painted by Christine Griffin for the Game of Thrones CCG.]
• Tyene Sand - The youngest of the Sand Snakes that we meet uses her wits and seductive powers, and is less of a physical fighter than the other Sand Snakes. She is just as deadly as her sisters, however, but her weapon is poison.
• High Sparrow - The books' pious head of a religious movement will be appearing in several episodes in season 5.
• Septa Unella – The show is looking for a character actress to play the imposing and unrelenting septa who spends a lot of time with a major series character next year.
• Maggy the Frog- A fortune teller in A Feast for Crows, she'll be in one episode next year.
• Lollys Stokeworth – Just last week in "Mockingbird," Bronn announced his intention to marry Lollys, whom Tyrion considers "dimwitted." It looks like the sellsword will still be around next year.
• Yezzan - A sleazy Meereenese slave owner.
• The Waif – The strange child from the books that Arya encounters will likely be played by an older actress, one in her later teens, and we understand the show is specifically looking for a woman of East Asian descent for the part.

 

 

WIC assures us this list is not complete, so there's likely more to come. But this is a pretty good reminder that the show is very close to catching up with A Dance with Dragons... here's hoping the great GRRM is putting the finishing touches on The Winds of Winter...

[TD Ryan2 316]

 

I can see this too. We are pretty close to the end of her storyline in the show(to where we are at the end of the last book), though I am sure they will add quite a bit of filler ala Bran. A popular theory is that Sansa ends up Little Fingering Little Finger himself, basically using him to get what she wants then focking him over. We are just starting to see Sansa's transformation, and again it only goes a bit further in the books to this point, but she is just starting to stop being the victim. Honestly, if you believe that character arcs will end up balancing out, Sansa will end up becoming the biggest villain as she has been probably the biggest victim to this point.

 

GRRM seems focused on making the point that no one is good or evil - that each of them/us is a blend of both.

IMO, it is a unifying message he's delivering - one of tolerance and understanding even when tolerance and understanding seems the absolute last thing you'd consider.

Who's Good and Who's Bad has been a theme from the get-go and he's masterfully blurred the answer for nearly every character. And to me, that is the most "real" thing about the show - a sign of great writing.

[CantTouchThis 23]

 

Can't afford a tablet?

 

I just got a new Dish account and they offered either a free iPad or $30 less a month for a year and I took the price cut. Never really have been interested in a tablet because I am old school and prefer laptops, and have a Android for when I can't use my laptop. I am in my 20s and even I think it's a little ridiculous to need a smartphone AND a tablet AND a laptop AND a desktop, ect.

[phillybear 366]

Well, back again, late as always.

 

4.7 Mockingbird

 

Jaime not happy that Tyrion didn’t take the plea deal. Well, to be fair, look at how a plea deal worked out for Ned Stark. Jaime won’t fight for Tyrion because he has only one hand and it’s cramped from all the jacking he is doing now that his sister turned from slut to raging lunatic. Speaking of which, Cersei follows the local screaming to the source and procures the services of the Mountain as tears people limb from limb to fight the combat by trial. I like the Mountain. He’s like a windmill, but with muscles. Arya and the Hound are ambushed, the Hound is wounded, and Arya stabs another one of her enemies in the heart. She seems to be a lot more proficient in getting revenge than her brother Robb Stark was. Arya is coming along in her training in becoming an ass kicker. Jon Snow returns to Castle Black, where he is treated like a d!ck and his ideas are shat upon. So, this is going to end badly, right? Hell, at this point, who isn’t rooting for the wildlings and Mace? I’ll Mace you good.

 

Bronn informs the imprisoned midget, try saying that with a mouthful of chewed saltines, that he has been bought off and is to marry into a well to do family. Eh, can’t blame him. Cersei is outmaneuvering the dwarf at every turn at this point. Although I think Peter Dinklage’s is top heavy with a big skull so he can’t really turn his head that quickly. Daenerys finds some Meereen schmuck that snuck into her chambers. She demands that he disrobe and then raepys him. I think that’s how she spells it. Um, the fock? Who is this guy, and why is he the one chosen to split the dragon toe? At Dragonstone, we get to see some gratuitous t!tty shots of the red witch and the planning of a trip that includes the daughter with cheese grater face. Daenerys sends some of her troops to retake one of the conquered cities. It’s boring to be the queen. The Hound is scared of fire and his brother the Mountain burned his face years ago. What a sissy queer. Brock Lesnar and Podrick stop in for some disgusting food and run into the fatty pig fatty kid that was traveling with Arya a while back. He gives them the tip that Arya is still alive and they set off for the Vale where the last living relative of the Stark sisters lives. Well, oops, they haven’t seen the end of this episode. Oberlyn and Tyrion have an interesting impassioned exchange, and Oberlyn will fight for him so that he gets a chance to avenge his sister’s death at the hands of the Mountain. Fascinating contrast here. You have the sister Cersei, railroading her brother Tyrion, trying to end his life with no regard to justice. You have the brother Oberlyn, avenging the death of this sister, risking his life, to seek justice. Quite the dichotomy. Revenge against family vs. revenge for family.

 

At the Vale, Sansa has built a replica of Winterfell. And anybody that watches the opening sequence knows what happens at Winterfell. Bad things, man, bad things. So, of course, Robin shows up to admire the work. Rather than conjuring up the happy images of the snow sculpting in Ground Hog’s Day, Robin goes Godzilla on the snow building. Roaaaar!!!! Moon Door!!! Well, Solange-sa had no choice but to *smack* the spit out of Robin’s androgynous mouth. Lord Baelish runs over to admonish the children. Yes, he called them “children”. Then stuck his tongue down Sansa’s throat. He proclaims that he killed Joffrey as revenge for Sansa, who looks just like Cathryn. Bullsh!t. You killed that demon kid to get closer to the top throne, you jagoff. Unbeknownst to him, Lysa saw the kiss. Also unbeknownst to Lord Baelish, Chris Hansen was also watching. What follows is the transcript: “Lord Baelish, why don’t you have a seat over here. You can put your wine coolers and condoms on the table. You knew she was only 15, right? What were you planning to do with your Little Finger?” Lysa confronts Sansa and tries to push her out the moon door. Look, it’s the worst trap door in history. Everybody knows it’s there. I’m sure people get drunk and fall out of it all the time. It’s just silly. Anywho, Baelish stops the weak armed Lysa from trying to push the 75 lb Sansa out the hole in the floor, tells her to go fock herself, and gives Lysa a Malaysian flight special.

 

So, it stands to reason that Baelish is consolidating power in the North, setting up shop in the impenetrable Vale, with really his only enemy being the Freys I guess, who of course if he is truly seeking revenge, he will overrun them because of the wedding massacre. So, he could control Winterfell through Sansa, the Vale, Harrenhal, etc, yet, he’s acquiring all this territory without any combat. All through scheme. It’s brilliant so far. He’s consolidating, quickly.

[posty 2,713]

Just a minor spoiler alert on what will happen the last three episodes of season four...

 

 

Minor spoiler alert for the broad strokes of what's to come this season: In eight, we see Prince Oberyn fight The Mountain, which I hear is a rather amazing fight sequence. In nine, we get the biggest staged battle in the show's history -- Mance Rayder's forces finally reaching The Wall (expect pretty much the whole episode to be devoted to that). And in the finale ... you know, in previous seasons, the finale has been considered somewhat anticlimactic after major plot twists the penultimate hours (Ned Stark's execution, the Battle of the Blackwater and The Red Wedding). This season, I'm told episode ten truly rivals nine, and I'm not telling you anything about it, because the less you know the better.

 

[edjr 6,608]

Brock Lesnar and Podrick

 

 

[CantTouchThis 23]

Just a minor spoiler alert on what will happen the last three episodes of season four...

 

 

Minor spoiler alert for the broad strokes of what's to come this season: In eight, we see Prince Oberyn fight The Mountain, which I hear is a rather amazing fight sequence. In nine, we get the biggest staged battle in the show's history -- Mance Rayder's forces finally reaching The Wall (expect pretty much the whole episode to be devoted to that). And in the finale ... you know, in previous seasons, the finale has been considered somewhat anticlimactic after major plot twists the penultimate hours (Ned Stark's execution, the Battle of the Blackwater and The Red Wedding). This season, I'm told episode ten truly rivals nine, and I'm not telling you anything about it, because the less you know the better.

 

 

First off, how the fock is there only 3 episodes left There is A LOT still to happen.

 

Secondly, yeah, the finale is going to be the big one this year....but each of the last 3 episodes are going to be action-filled, mind blowing craziness.

 

I am still not a fan of what they are doing with the storyline at The Wall, but I guess we'll see how that ends up.

[Saint Elistan 106]

Even knowing what's coming, this episode absolutely affected me in a bad way. More so than the Red Wedding.

 

Mind. Blown.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[TD Ryan2 316]

So yeah - Sansa ends the episode in her Malificent outfit - Cersei of The North...

 

And Arya becomes her enemy? The writing is on the wall.

[Big Blue 06 195]

Knew it was coming, but that didn't make me hate it any less. Just had to get cocky, didn't ya? Damn viper!!

[Saint Elistan 106]

So yeah - Sansa ends the episode in her Malificent outfit - Cersei of The North...

 

Weird - I said the exact same thing to my girlfriend.

 

Straight to emo seductress, that one. Baelish promptly rubbed one out, I'm sure.

[Saint Elistan 106]

Knew it was coming, but that didn't make me hate it any less. Just had to get cocky, didn't ya? Damn viper!!

 

Did you secretly hope the ending was going to be different like I did?

 

I was all...

 

[OldMaid 2,130]

Knew it was coming, but that didn't make me hate it any less. Just had to get cocky, didn't ya? Damn viper!!

That's pretty much how I summed it up as well.

 

 

He didn't die like that in the book, did he? For some reason I don't remember, and I'm too lazy to go look it up tonight.

[mobb_deep 920]

Can someone explain to me how Robert Baratheon pardoned Mormont when he's been dead since the first season?

 

That whole scene with him sending intel to the fat bald guy made no sense to me.

 

Bear with me, as I still can't get half of these characters names and relationships sorted out.

[CantTouchThis 23]

Can someone explain to me how Robert Baratheon pardoned Mormont when he's been dead since the first season?

 

 

 

In the first season right before the wine merchant tries to poison her, Jorah goes off by himself and some little kid who is one of Varys' spiders comes up to him, hands him a parchment, and says something like "This is a royal pardon. Congratulations, you can go home now." Jorah then has a distraught look and ends up saving her from the poisoner. The show didn't make that whole situation as obvious as in the books, but that was the moment Jorah decided he was going to stay with her and not take the pardon.

 

I haven't seen the episode yet, but I am glad they finally did this. After the small council meeting last episode, I figured this would be the episode he was get banished. I was worried the show was not going to do it at all as Jorah had become a fan favorite.

 

Don't worry, we are not done with him yet. Not by a long shot

[Big Blue 06 195]

That's pretty much how I summed it up as well.

 

 

He didn't die like that in the book, did he? For some reason I don't remember, and I'm too lazy to go look it up tonight.

It wasn't as gruesome in the book, but if I recall correctly, the rest was just about right. Viper about to win, Mountain down and injured and the Viper doesn't finish him off. I loved the character in the books and the fact that he was so well castade this an even tougher blow.

 

Quietly, I was hoping they would change this, but I guess that would change too many character arcs.

[TD Ryan2 316]

Loved the Viper, pretty impressive "win" before gloating...

But it did ring a bit like, "my name is Inigo Montoya, you raped my sister, prepare to die"

[edjr 6,608]

Loved the Viper, pretty impressive "win" before gloating...

But it did ring a bit like, "my name is Inigo Montoya, you raped my sister, prepare to die"

 

after he said it once, I was like WTF where is Inigo Montoya?

 

So predictable what was going to happen, just now how it happened.

 

I am scared for life.

[OldMaid 2,130]

It wasn't as gruesome in the book, but if I recall correctly, the rest was just about right. Viper about to win, Mountain down and injured and the Viper doesn't finish him off. I loved the character in the books and the fact that he was so well castade this an even tougher blow.

Quietly, I was hoping they would change this, but I guess that would change too many character arcs.

I remember him dying, but I don't remember him getting his head crushed... but after looking it up, it seems it was spot on.

 

God, I'm going to have to go back and re-read these.

[edjr 6,608]

I wasn't sure if he was just going to have his eyes gouged and then still kill the mountain and have to live eyeless in seattle

[parrot 789]

I remember him dying, but I don't remember him getting his head crushed... but after looking it up, it seems it was spot on.

 

God, I'm going to have to go back and re-read these.

 

Tyrion saw with horror that the Mountain had

wrapped one huge arm around the prince, drawing him tight against his chest,

like a lover.

"Elia of Dorne," they all heard Ser Gregor say, when they were close enough to

kiss. His deep voice boomed within the helm. "I killed her screaming whelp."

He thrust his free hand into Oberyn's unprotected face, pushing steel fingers

into his eyes. "Then I raped her." Clegane

slammed his fist into the Dornishman's mouth, making splinters of his teeth.

"Then I smashed her head in. Like this." As he drew back his huge

fist, the blood on his gauntlet seemed to smoke in the cold dawn air. There

was a sickening crunch.

[Big Blue 06 195]

 

 

Tyrion saw with horror that the Mountain had

wrapped one huge arm around the prince, drawing him tight against his chest,

like a lover.

"Elia of Dorne," they all heard Ser Gregor say, when they were close enough to

kiss. His deep voice boomed within the helm. "I killed her screaming whelp."

He thrust his free hand into Oberyn's unprotected face, pushing steel fingers

into his eyes. "Then I raped her." Clegane

slammed his fist into the Dornishman's mouth, making splinters of his teeth.

"Then I smashed her ###### head in. Like this." As he drew back his huge

fist, the blood on his gauntlet seemed to smoke in the cold dawn air. There

was a sickening crunch.

Well, I retract my previous statement; the bit was every bit as gruesome. I'm with OM, I have to reread these. I remember the major plot points, but a lot of the detail is fuzzy. It's been awhile since I read them.

[parrot 789]

Loved Arya's crazy laugh (and Missandei's crazy t!ts)!

 

 

"People die squatting on their chamber pots."

 

[OldMaid 2,130]

Well, I retract my previous statement; the bit was every bit as gruesome. I'm with OM, I have to reread these. I remember the major plot points, but a lot of the detail is fuzzy. It's been awhile since I read them.

Off topic... FYI The Strain starts this summer on FX. That was you, who suggested I read those, right?

[Big Blue 06 195]

Off topic... FYI The Strain starts this summer on FX. That was you, who suggested I read those, right?

 

Indeed it was, and I saw the commercial for it the other day. I'm pretty excited, as I enjoyed the books. I just hope they do it right; if it's half as good as the TV adaptation of Game of Thrones, I'll be thrilled.

[Bill E. 703]

 

Weird - I said the exact same thing to my girlfriend.

 

Straight to emo seductress, that one. Baelish promptly rubbed one out, I'm sure.

 

One of the best eps yet.

 

I think this is the first actual decision that Sansa ever made in the series. She usually wanders from scene to scene doing what she is told.

 

Speaking of rubbing one out, they say when you lose an appendage you still feel it. The scene where poor Gray Worm tried to rub one out was sad.

 

I loved the scene between the Lanister Brother's where they discussed their cousin. Dinklage can make any topic in any scene great.

 

Also loved Arya's laugh at the end.

 

Also the actor playing Theon does a great job.

[IGotWorms 4,058]

At least now the Viper's paramour is single

 

And how about that Missandei? Even the castrated dudes can't help but stare

[parrot 789]

Loved the Viper, pretty impressive "win" before gloating...

But it did ring a bit like, "my name is Inigo Montoya, you raped my sister, prepare to die"

He wasn't gloating, well okay, maybe he was gloating, but he wanted a confession and for Tywin to be implicated. So he was gloating with a purpose.

[phillybear 366]

4.8 The Mountain and The Viper

Hey, who doesn’t like a good massacre of a town full of dirty, dirty wh0res to get us started in Glory Mole Town. Too bad that hot red head wild chick with no doubt a fiery red bush didn’t kill the ugly chick with the beaver teeth who can’t stop smiling like some mongoloid. Egg shaped Sam fears that his woman is dead and he will never get chance to sample her retard poon. Ramsey gets No-Keek Reek to masquerade as his old self. Somebody should get Robert DiNero to do this so he stops doing sh!t characters in sh!t movies. Theon’s offer to Moat Cailin to surrender is met with scoffs. Truly an insult, since it’s coming from people living in a moat. The men mutiny and decide to take Theon’s sh!t offer to die for no good reason. And they die. So everybody is happy. Roose Bolton is quite pleased and decides to undo Ramsay’s bastardness. Can you do that? I mean, it’s biological. You can’t expunge a bastard birth. The evil spawn that oozed out of Khardashian’s fat twat between her disgusting obese legs is going to die a basturd and there is nothing money can do about it. Bolton and son marvel at all the empty land around them full of absolutely nothing. Ah, upon this land we shall build Castle Seinfeld. Seinfeld is on an apology tour. He tweeted out “Hey, what’s the deal with black people? They are neither black nor people!!” Still, aren’t the Freys and Baelish a factor in all this in the North, before the wilding and white walker overrun everything? Really, Bolton is ruler of all this due to a decree from Tywin Lannister? Bah, that sounds stupid. Bolton is going to be charge for about 3 days, a book mark nobody is going to remember.

It’s always a good episode with some boobies. This time, it’s the translator for Daenerys. Is it true that Emilia Clarke refuses to get nekkid anymore? ‘Tis be a shame. Why does the soldier stare at the woman if his weenie was whacked off way back in the day? Do they grow back in this realm, like a lizard tail? Phantom pain? Ser Barristan tattletales on Ser Jorah to Daenerys that he was spying on her. He is exiled. Seems kind of bullsh!t. Jorah was a good council, saved her life, and stuck with her long after he was ordered to, seemingly switching sides. Barristan is a sneaky sh!t, like Neidermeyer. I guess this is where Meereen is starting to resemble Kings Landing Jr.

You would think Baelish would be welcome to take over after getting rid of the crazy woman in charge at The Vale, but he has some explaining to do to the old farts that seem to be some sort of senior council. Stupid royal pains in the ass. Sansa finally, after 4 long useless years, does something worthwhile and vouches for Baelish and his story of Lysa’s suicide while confessing she is the niece of Lysa. All seems well. I guess Robin is in charge, which is baffling to me, but as Baelish is taking him out on the road for some meet and greets, I’m sure the people will be less than thrilled with Momma’s Boy. Maybe Robin has a rock climbing accident, and Sansa vouches. Sansa completes her transformation into a player in this show with a hair dye job and better clothing, reminding me a bit of Lana Parilla from Once Upon A Time. She shall be henceforth known as My Chemical Romansa. Hound and Arya stop by just as Baelish and friends are getting ready to go. Lysa is dead, which gives Arya the giggles. Strange family. Wait till they tell the Hound about his brother. That’s a real hoot and a knee slapper.

Jaime and Tyrion waste our time with more pre game chatter as we wait for Bruce Buffer to come out and announce the main event of the episode, as we check our watches for the umpteenth time. Come on, come on, how much time are they leaving here? Oberlyn is c0cky like a pimp, Danny McBride-esque from This Is The End. The Mountain watches some clouds circle around his ears. And the choreography or the fight is tremendous. The contrast of the sword vs the spear, with the strategy of the long reach of Oberlyn seemingly jabbing vs the close in fighting of Mountain. Just smart game plan. Oh, I found the stupid Princess Bride connection just stupid and overdone. Come on, obvious, no? There were more demands for a confession than the entirety of the Spanish Inquisition. The Mountain is down and dying, but that is just not simple enough. Oberlyn needs the confession and to taunt him some more. Oh, he has never seen a scary movie, has he? Michael, Jason, Freddie, the skinny white kid and the Wayans from Scary Movie, you don’t taunt a guy you think is dead. The Mountain gathers his pride, grabs Oberlyn, finger focks his eye sockets while confessing to raype and murder while I stand and applaud and get turgid, then smashes Oberlyn’s skull like a cantaloupe that you were planning for fock but put into the microwave for 10 minutes too long to warm up. Tywin McMahon declares the fight over before the Mountain drops dead and the Tyrion is a dead midget walking. Which is fine. He’s a good actor, but I’m ready for him to die so we can move the story along.

[Mike Honcho 5,295]

Oberlyn failed, because he didn't adhere to Tuco's Rule!

 

[edjr 6,608]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2-d-n-c85ko

[CantTouchThis 23]

I thought the fight should have been longer, it was definitely a great fight scene but reading it was actually better, probably because we got to see it through Tyrion's eyes and see his thoughts throughout.

 

Oberyn was my favorite character that was on for less than one season/book. Pascal was the perfect for the role.

[OldMaid 2,130]

http://insidetv.ew.com/2014/06/03/george-r-r-martin-ice-and-fire-publishing-plan-game-of-thrones/

[parrot 789]

http://insidetv.ew.com/2014/06/03/george-r-r-martin-ice-and-fire-publishing-plan-game-of-thrones/

[OldMaid 2,130]

I know, right? Focker is going to die before he finishes this sh!t!

 

 

 

And if HBO draws this out by finishing the series on the big screen, we might be dead before that comes to fruition.

[CantTouchThis 23]

 

But, honestly, as much as I want the series to be done, a big part of me gets excited if there is another book. As long as he's still breathing, I'm fine. I mean, he isn't THAT old and, other than being on the tubby side, he's healthy.

 

But, seriously, let the man write. He doesn't HAVE to continue to the story, like he never had to create it or release in the first place. It's HIS masterpiece, let him finish it on his terms, the way he wants. We all really need to stop bothering the man, not that he really pays any attention to what all of us nerds, with nothing better to do, are saying.

 

We should be nothing but appreciative towards the man instead of berating him.