I could use some t & p

[cmh6476 1,024]

I have a very challenging 19 yo daughter.   She was in a wreck last night and totaled her car, but herself.  The local crime scene page described it as a female occupant, unresponsive, and bleeding.   They took her by ambulance to er, charged her with a dwi.

Her mom (we're divorced) is kicking her out and not allowing her back in, my wife doesn't want her here and they just about went fistacuffs.  My mom doesn't want to take her in because it stresses my mom out and is hard on her.   My ex-in laws don't want to deal with it. 

She's got a personality disorder and won't seek help or treatment.   Deflects instead of taking responsibility, and is battling depression and feels very unloved and unwanted.

This is hard.  I get that's a whole lot of personal info, but I feel isolated and alone and really unsure of what to do or where to go from here.   Trying to take things one day at a time, looking for short term solutions with hope that a long term plan will come together to get her the help she needs.  Been a rough morning

 

[Strike 5,532]

Sorry man.  I got no good advice for that situation. My thoughts and prayers will be with you and your daughter.  I hope she figures things out.

[edjr 6,580]

you should stop posting on a low rent fantasy football message board and maybe your family would still be together.  I blame you 

[Bier Meister 1,710]

Good luck to you guys.

 

 

[Alias Detective 1,399]

T’s & P’s

[The Real timschochet 6,750]

That’s awful man. Hope for the best for you. You might seek some counseling yourself, if you haven’t already, about how to talk to her and what formulas might work in this situation. Best of luck. 

[supermike80 1,904]

54 minutes ago, cmh6476 said:

I have a very challenging 19 yo daughter.   She was in a wreck last night and totaled her car, but herself.  The local crime scene page described it as a female occupant, unresponsive, and bleeding.   They took her by ambulance to er, charged her with a dwi.

Her mom (we're divorced) is kicking her out and not allowing her back in, my wife doesn't want her here and they just about went fistacuffs.  My mom doesn't want to take her in because it stresses my mom out and is hard on her.   My ex-in laws don't want to deal with it. 

She's got a personality disorder and won't seek help or treatment.   Deflects instead of taking responsibility, and is battling depression and feels very unloved and unwanted.

This is hard.  I get that's a whole lot of personal info, but I feel isolated and alone and really unsure of what to do or where to go from here.   Trying to take things one day at a time, looking for short term solutions with hope that a long term plan will come together to get her the help she needs.  Been a rough morning

 

Wow.  So sorry. I cant imagine.  Hope it works out. 

[seafoam1 3,015]

56 minutes ago, cmh6476 said:

I have a very challenging 19 yo daughter.   She was in a wreck last night and totaled her car, but herself.  The local crime scene page described it as a female occupant, unresponsive, and bleeding.   They took her by ambulance to er, charged her with a dwi.

Her mom (we're divorced) is kicking her out and not allowing her back in, my wife doesn't want her here and they just about went fistacuffs.  My mom doesn't want to take her in because it stresses my mom out and is hard on her.   My ex-in laws don't want to deal with it. 

She's got a personality disorder and won't seek help or treatment.   Deflects instead of taking responsibility, and is battling depression and feels very unloved and unwanted.

This is hard.  I get that's a whole lot of personal info, but I feel isolated and alone and really unsure of what to do or where to go from here.   Trying to take things one day at a time, looking for short term solutions with hope that a long term plan will come together to get her the help she needs.  Been a rough morning

 

So you go online looking for sympathy from strangers instead of taking care of business in your home. Jeez. 

[supermike80 1,904]

13 minutes ago, The Real timschochet said:

That’s awful man. Hope for the best for you. You might seek some counseling yourself, if you haven’t already, about how to talk to her and what formulas might work in this situation. Best of luck. 

And there's Tim.  Giving unsolicited advice cause he HAS to try to act like the smartest guy in the room.

Even when you offer thoughts you come off so horrible.   Youre a genuinely unlikeable person.

Sorry CMH.  Seems Tim has all the answers for you.   Nice right?

[edjr 6,580]

thanks for the reminder. I need to grab toilet paper at the store

[edjr 6,580]

7 minutes ago, supermike80 said:

Wow.  So sorry. I cant imagine.  Hope it works out. 

didn’t you imagine while reading it?

[The Real timschochet 6,750]

25 minutes ago, supermike80 said:

And there's Tim.  Giving unsolicited advice cause he HAS to try to act like the smartest guy in the room.

Even when you offer thoughts you come off so horrible.   Youre a genuinely unlikeable person.

Sorry CMH.  Seems Tim has all the answers for you.   Nice right?

Really? You’re attacking me for offering some very general advice? 

[seafoam1 3,015]

4 minutes ago, The Real timschochet said:

Really? You’re attacking me for offering some very general advice? 

[MDC 7,401]

Sorry to hear that, hope she’s gonna be okay. 

[Gladiators 1,987]

Can size?

T’s and P’s. Hope she can get her life turned around.

[Mike Honcho 5,269]

@cmh6476, one of my youngest cousins had a lot of issues at that age. She was eventually diagnosed as bi-polar. It took a long time, lots of caring and love from the family, and a lot of setbacks, but she eventually was able to get her life together. I'd suggest looking for professional help and don't expect any instant miracles.  I'm hoping for the best for you.  

[TheNewGirl 1,489]

I am so sorry to hear about this CMH. Sending you and your family a lot of good thoughts. 

[cmh6476 1,024]

You can really get a sense of people you would likely call friends when you share something like this, and this who are just always going to be crass a-holes that you would never want to associate with in real life.   But I'll take the negative I knew was coming, because the positive just helps to vent and feel heard.

[cmh6476 1,024]

And you can talk about nature v nurture all you want.   I have a son 16 months younger and he's no. 2 is his HS class of 400, hyper involved in clubs and activities, honors band, drug free superstar and holds a steady job.   Some kids are just harder to raise than others

[jerryskids 6,790]

58 minutes ago, Mike Honcho said:

@cmh6476, one of my youngest cousins had a lot of issues at that age. She was eventually diagnosed as bi-polar. It took a long time, lots of caring and love from the family, and a lot of setbacks, but she eventually was able to get her life together. I'd suggest looking for professional help and don't expect any instant miracles.  I'm hoping for the best for you.  

I was thinking about bi-polar.  A cousin of our in-laws had it, and wouldn't take medication.  Worth having that analyzed if he hasn't.

@cmh6476, good luck with this.   

[avoiding injuries 1,580]

If she doesn’t stay with her parents or grandparents, where is she going to stay? My oldest is 14 so I haven’t gone through anything like this, but I would defy my ex-wife and take her in. I’m not sure the day after an accident and DWI is the time for tough love. Just my opinion. 
Good luck with whatever you decide. 

[edjr 6,580]

51 minutes ago, cmh6476 said:

You can really get a sense of people you would likely call friends when you share something like this, and this who are just always going to be crass a-holes that you would never want to associate with in real life.   But I'll take the negative I knew was coming, because the positive just helps to vent and feel heard.

Hope you realize what I personally said was satire. I remember wayyy back when. Your post about your brother. I cried reading that. Best of luck. I don’t do ts & ps

[Frozenbeernuts 2,251]

Ts and Ps coming your way. When it's your kids, it's really tough to see them go through this stuff.

[jerryskids 6,790]

Ts and Ps for @edjrbeing a cold-hearted pr1ck.   

[TimHauck 2,850]

3 hours ago, supermike80 said:

And there's Tim.  Giving unsolicited advice cause he HAS to try to act like the smartest guy in the room.

Even when you offer thoughts you come off so horrible.   Youre a genuinely unlikeable person.

Sorry CMH.  Seems Tim has all the answers for you.   Nice right?

Lol why would you attack RealTim’s post, which pretty much was just suggesting he get advice from a professional, and not the post blaming CMH for it (even if it may have been tongue in cheek, but based on the follow up responses it doesn’t really seem that way)?

@cmh2746, are you geek club rich?  If you don’t want her on the street, can you pay for her to get an apartment or something but stipulate she needs to get her sh1t together?

[lickin_starfish 1,935]

Sorry for your situation. I hope your daughter gets her stuff straightened out and finds a better path.

[supermike80 1,904]

2 hours ago, TimHauck said:

Lol why would you attack RealTim’s post, which pretty much was just suggesting he get advice from a professional, and not the post blaming CMH for it (even if it may have been tongue in cheek, but based on the follow up responses it doesn’t really seem that way)?

@cmh2746, are you geek club rich?  If you don’t want her on the street, can you pay for her to get an apartment or something but stipulate she needs to get her sh1t together?

Cause he doesn't wanr nor didn't ask for advice.  Especially from a smug know it all like Tim.  Its offensive.  Just offer condolences and stfu.

Tim is insufferable. Thats why

[The PosterFormerlyKnownAs 78]

If she is still in the hospital, see if you can request an involuntary psych assessment or psych assessment. Given the history, you may be able to get them to look at the dwi as an element of self harm, which can be a reason for eval.  
 

good luck.  Tremendously hard, but often time the right psychiatric treatment and medication can make a huge difference.

[Hardcore troubadour 15,402]

I’m very sorry for you. Having a kid is a crapshoot. All I know is that you won’t regret doing everything you can for her. You will regret not doing so.  Even if that causes stress in your other relationships. She’s your little girl forever. You’re her dad forever. I wish you the best. Could be anyone of us. 

[jerryskids 6,790]

15 minutes ago, Hardcore troubadour said:

I’m very sorry for you. Having a kid is a crapshoot. All I know is that you won’t regret doing everything you can for her. You will regret not doing so.  Even if that causes stress in your other relationships. She’s your little girl forever. You’re her dad forever. I wish you the best. Could be anyone of us. 

Great post.   

[The Real timschochet 6,750]

Seems like several people here have offered advice, most of it good. I was the only one attacked for it, even though all I suggested is that professional counseling might be of some help. But apparently that’s “insufferable”. 

Whatever. @cmh6476 let me repeat that I wish the best for you. And I really do think professional aid can be of service here. They deal with this stuff all the time. Good luck. 

[The Real timschochet 6,750]

25 minutes ago, Hardcore troubadour said:

I’m very sorry for you. Having a kid is a crapshoot. All I know is that you won’t regret doing everything you can for her. You will regret not doing so.  Even if that causes stress in your other relationships. She’s your little girl forever. You’re her dad forever. I wish you the best. Could be anyone of us. 

This is an excellent response as well. 

[supermike80 1,904]

8 minutes ago, The Real timschochet said:

Seems like several people here have offered advice, most of it good. I was the only one attacked for it, even though all I suggested is that professional counseling might be of some help. But apparently that’s “insufferable”. 

Whatever. @cmh6476 let me repeat that I wish the best for you. And I really do think professional aid can be of service here. They deal with this stuff all the time. Good luck. 

Sorry Timmy.  Your overall unlikeability led me to pounce on you.   

[jerryskids 6,790]

8 minutes ago, The Real timschochet said:

Seems like several people here have offered advice, most of it good. I was the only one attacked for it, even though all I suggested is that professional counseling might be of some help. But apparently that’s “insufferable”. 

Whatever. @cmh6476 let me repeat that I wish the best for you. And I really do think professional aid can be of service here. They deal with this stuff all the time. Good luck. 

FWIW, I think @supermike80was wrong in calling you out for your post.  I didn't think it was intrusive at all. 

 

[jonnyutah 287]

Good luck man.

[jerryskids 6,790]

7 hours ago, seafoam1 said:

So you go online looking for sympathy from strangers instead of taking care of business in your home. Jeez. 

You are the worst poster here and it isn't close.  Please delete your account.

I expect you to copy and paste this into your response to me, as your <78 IQ is wont to do.

[Voltaire 5,315]

What a mess, best wishes to you and your daughter, CMH.

She's clearly got those mental health issues you mention to get to this point where she has worn out all relationships with each of her family members. With her stuck in the hospital a while now, maybe this is a great time to get some meds that can be applied but I don't know how this works. Can they be administered against her will? If she starts acting civil on them maybe she'll change her mind. Your daughter is inches away from being homeless with an untreated mental condition. This may be your best chance to get her the help she needs.

[seafoam1 3,015]

3 minutes ago, jerryskids said:

You are the worst poster here and it isn't close.  Please delete your account.

I expect you to copy and paste this into your response to me, as your <78 IQ is wont to do.

Aww...Aren't you cute.

[MLCKAA 573]

At the risk of making this about me, I just want to tell you that I can sympathize to a degree— the untreated mental health patient in my family is my sister.

I’ll offer some advice from the perspective of regret.  We all knew something was wrong with her.  She was an adult, which makes it harder to get them help if they don’t want it.  We all kinda figured it would work out, ya know.  “That’s other people’s families” right?  Now, she’s irretrievable.

If there is any way under the law for you to insist on treatment, do so.  Follow that path.

[Gepetto 1,367]

First off, sorry this is happening with your daughter. This seems to be a very critical time to get her all the help she needs and to love her. I hope you and your family and you and your daughter are able to find a better path forward. Do all you can for her is my best advice.