Gladiators 1,906 Posted November 17, 2017 Get married if you had no intention of having kids? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
MTSkiBum 1,600 Posted November 17, 2017 Yes. Easy decision. 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Patriotsfatboy1 1,432 Posted November 17, 2017 Why not? I have multiple sets of good friends who have no kids and they are very happily married. Marriage is about a partnership that does not have to include kids. 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
IGotWorms 3,359 Posted November 17, 2017 The incentive would be less. Not saying I wouldnt, but part of the point of marriage (IMO) is to provide a stable home for your kids. No kids, not so much need for stability. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Gladiators 1,906 Posted November 17, 2017 Just curious what the responses would be...I dont think Id get married if I had no intention of having kids. I think Id live the bachelor life and just have fun. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
titans&bucs&bearsohmy! 2,745 Posted November 17, 2017 Get married if you had no intention of having kids? In the process of doing so now. Having a companion is nice. Having someone there when you go travel and see cool sh!t is nice. Having someone give a Fock about you is nice. Kids is not the only reason to get married at all. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Brad GLuckman 518 Posted November 17, 2017 If both people dont want kids...then why not? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
SUXBNME 1,346 Posted November 17, 2017 Already married and no kids to the best of my knowledge Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Gladiators 1,906 Posted November 17, 2017 In the process of doing so now. Having a companion is nice. Having someone there when you go travel and see cool sh!t is nice. Having someone give a Fock about you is nice. Kids is not the only reason to get married at all. I can appreciate this response as well. I think I would have a prenup in place though, which IMO, kind of defeats the purpose of marriage. Congrats on the engagement. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jerryskids 5,257 Posted November 17, 2017 Just curious what the responses would be...I dont think Id get married if I had no intention of having kids. I think Id live the bachelor life and just have fun. Interesting question. I don't know that I'd have married my wife (24 years married) if we both didn't want to have kids. I was 26 at the time though, and years later I might have made a different choice. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Filthy Fernadez 2,696 Posted November 17, 2017 Kids aren't the only reason to stay together or get married. If something happened to my wife or we got divorced I would not marry again. It's taken her and I this long (20+ years) to learn each other and there's no way I have the patience to learn someone else. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Gladiators 1,906 Posted November 17, 2017 Interesting question. I don't know that I'd have married my wife (24 years married) if we both didn't want to have kids. I was 26 at the time though, and years later I might have made a different choice. Thats why I asked the question. I suppose at the end of the day, its all the same regardless of whether you have kids. Youre either committed or your not. I just feel like having kids makes it a bit different. I still hold that if I had no intention of having kids, I wouldnt get married. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Brad GLuckman 518 Posted November 17, 2017 Thats why I asked the question. I suppose at the end of the day, its all the same regardless of whether you have kids. Youre either committed or your not. I just feel like having kids makes it a bit different. I still hold that if I had no intention of having kids, I wouldnt get married. Everyone is different. The bachelor life wouldve gotten old for me. Especially considering as you age, available women all have baggage. Even without kids, I would rather spend my life with my wife than a bunch of randoms. Theres no right way, though. Its all personal preference. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
TimmySmith 2,782 Posted November 17, 2017 If no intention means that there is no chance of kids, then probably not. At least not until I got older. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Bert 1,099 Posted November 17, 2017 Get married if you had no intention of having kids? Been there, done that. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
TimmySmith 2,782 Posted November 17, 2017 Why not? I have multiple sets of good friends who have no kids and they are very happily married. Marriage is about a partnership that does not have to include kids. We all have those. But I can honestly say that I know of no married couple in my circle that got married and stayed married with the intent of having no kids. I know a few couples that got married with an open ambivalence to having kids, guess what, they have kids. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
wiffleball 4,657 Posted November 17, 2017 In my church our kids have to turn 13 before we can marry them. 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
TommyGavin 790 Posted November 17, 2017 Already married and no kids to the best of my knowledge Wait What ???? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
NorthernVike 2,080 Posted November 17, 2017 Already married and no kids to the best of my knowledge Dude! Where was my invite? Also, tell Gypsy congrats. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
edjr 5,602 Posted November 17, 2017 Get married if you had no intention of having kids? I already did Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
SUXBNME 1,346 Posted November 17, 2017 Dude! Where was my invite? Also, tell Gypsy congrats. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
IMMensaMind 460 Posted November 17, 2017 I've been married for 23 years (34C), happily. My wife is the salt of the earth. If I got divorced now, I'd have to pay her a ton every year...for the rest of my life. Plus child support until they're both on their own, including college. If she didn't raise my kids while remaining at home the entire time, would I think that she was worth that? No kids? But still half? Oh. Hell. No. I'm in a no-fault state. Marriage is a legal contract. Your commitment doesn't have to be. Prenups cannot predict the future, and cannot protect sufficiently. Having a ceremony in a church, and then a big wedding reception is one thing - go ahead. Having a marriage license, which allows government/law/etc to sink its hooks into you...is another. No reason to be "legally" married without any intention to have kids. 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
NorthernVike 2,080 Posted November 17, 2017 I found your wedding pic. SUX---> <----Gypsy Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Voltaire 4,572 Posted November 17, 2017 Can't answer the question; a woman that didn't want kids is not a woman I would have asked out for another date let alone marry. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
penultimatestraw 473 Posted November 17, 2017 I did, so yes. Married life is better, especially when you don't have kids. Don't get me wrong, sleeping with multiple chicks is great, but dating is the suck. You could just be monogamous and unmarried, of course, but as much as I hate to admit it, the act of getting married carries meaning above and beyond cohabitation. 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
penultimatestraw 473 Posted November 17, 2017 I can appreciate this response as well. I think I would have a prenup in place though, which IMO, kind of defeats the purpose of marriage. Congrats on the engagement. Why the prenup? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
edjr 5,602 Posted November 17, 2017 Can't answer the question; a woman that didn't want kids is not a woman I would have asked out for another date let alone marry. WHat are you from Alabama? that's like a guy saying, a 14 year old that don't want the D isn't a 14 year old. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
TimmySmith 2,782 Posted November 17, 2017 WHat are you from Alabama? that's like a guy saying, a 14 year old that don't want the D isn't a 14 year old. You got him wrong. A woman who wanted kids was a priority. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Bier Meister 1,522 Posted November 17, 2017 Get married if you had no intention of having kids? if mutually agreed upon, yes. i would not conceal my intentions of not wanting to have children. my wife and i were pretty happy without children. at 35, mrs' clock ticked and we stopped prevention. pregnant 3 months later. we would have been happy with or without. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
NorthernVike 2,080 Posted November 17, 2017 Married life is better, especially when you don't have kids. No it's not. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Bier Meister 1,522 Posted November 17, 2017 Married life is better, especially when you don't have kids. there certainly was more freedom. we used to do a lot more (theater, symphony, sports events, travel, dining out- longer meals, social with friends, etc). as the kiddo gets older we are seeing her activities and schedule increase...also getting harder to pull her out of school for travel/vacations. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jerryskids 5,257 Posted November 17, 2017 if mutually agreed upon, yes. i would not conceal my intentions of not wanting to have children. my wife and i were pretty happy without children. at 35, mrs' clock ticked and we stopped prevention. pregnant 3 months later. we would have been happy with or without. You'd have been happy with or without. Her, notsomuch. If you believe otherwise you don't know wimmen. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Hardcore troubadour 12,799 Posted November 17, 2017 Been there, done that. Good Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
nospk 230 Posted November 17, 2017 Sometimes two people are happily married before having kids, then they do have kids and the marriage falls apart because they dont agree on parenting techniques, and/or they end up spending more effort on raising them than keeping themselves happy together. Or the kids turn out to be monsters and that makes the marriage more difficult. Or the wife becomes a crazy person after having the kids. There may be more... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
IMMensaMind 460 Posted November 17, 2017 I did, so yes. Married life is better, especially when you don't have kids. Don't get me wrong, sleeping with multiple chicks is great, but dating is the suck. You could just be monogamous and unmarried, of course, but as much as I hate to admit it, the act of getting married carries meaning above and beyond cohabitation. 'Married life is better, especially when you don't have kids'. I don't think you needed to put that last part in there; sounds defensive. Is married life better when you have kids? You aren't qualified to answer that, but I am. I've been married, both with and without kids. We waited nearly 5 years to have kids, and then had two, a bit more than 4 years apart. Married life is immeasurably better with kids. There is literally nothing like it, and each new phase of their life keeps making it better; keeps it fresh and interesting. Everything you thought you knew about your relationship before you have kids is a black and white version of what you get once you share the permanent bond of children. You literally do not know what you're missing. You may think you do; you may think you can replace the idea of kids with career, with nieces and nephews; with charity work and globe-trotting adventures, etc. But you can't. There is nothing that can strengthen and enhance your marital bond more powerfully than kids. What you've done is guaranteed all the downsides of a committed relationship with only the slight upside of a mutual understanding that you're legally bound to one another because of the seriousness of the commitment of marriage. But there's 'marriage' (a ceremony), and there's 'marriage' (a legal commitment). The latter is stupid, and only worth engaging in to ensure the financial well-being of any kids. If things go south, you're legally bound to one another. Why? What could you possibly gain from that? Of course, it may not matter, if you both have equally economically fruitful careers, etc. But it may matter a whole lot. 2 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
wiffleball 4,657 Posted November 17, 2017 These days, some people treat marriage as just an excuse for a party. I suppose if you can work this out such that No one gets screwed financially, it's theoretically possible. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
nospk 230 Posted November 17, 2017 Most of the married without children couples I know ended up with multiple pets, and they end up treating the pets like their kids- they even refer to them as “fur babies”...I don’t really get that Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Mookz 1,287 Posted November 17, 2017 Mary Padian from Storage Wars Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
tanatastic 2,061 Posted November 17, 2017 Hoping I already did. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
IGotWorms 3,359 Posted November 18, 2017 Sometimes two people are happily married before having kids, then they do have kids and the marriage falls apart because they dont agree on parenting techniques, and/or they end up spending more effort on raising them than keeping themselves happy together. Or the kids turn out to be monsters and that makes the marriage more difficult. Or the wife becomes a crazy person after having the kids. There may be more... Absolutely true. Our kids are great BUT we havent been able to focus on each other in years. And yes, she became a crazy person. Recovered (for a bit) about 18 months after the first was born so Im holding out hope she returns to normalcy at some point after our second. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites