I may have found by biological father.

[Cdub100 3,391]

Growing up I never knew my biological father. My mother never liked to talk about and when she did gave mixed stories about who he was. So I don't know what to believe. Add to the fact I grew up super poor and with little to no family. Those I did have, died early in my life. Fast forward to now and my mother and I do not talk. She has only seen my oldest who is 10, maybe four times. My middle child once, and my third child never. The bottom line is there is no relationship there. With that being said I have no family history.

A few years ago I did a 23&me test. That's where I learned I'm Irish/British and some Indian. I've been on the site for years and the only family hits I got was 3rd and 4th cousins. That was until yesterday when I had a 1st cousin hit. She was also trying to find her father. We figured out it was either my uncles as her dad or her uncles are my dad.

She has 2 uncles. We can rule out her dad because we are tested as first cousins. That leaves the other two. One is dead and the one lives in Florida with his wife. His wife was never able to conceive a child so he doesn't have any children, that he knows of

I was talking to my group chat friends and telling them what was going on. One of my friends found a picture of her uncles and there is a strong resemblance between us. She called her cousin to tell her she might have a brother she didn't know about (me). 

I had a conference call with both of them yesterday and the lady who might be my half-sister is going to take the 23&me test. If she comes back as a 1st cousin then there's a good chance there's a dude in Florida who doesn't know he's a father or he does and walked out on my mother when she told him. We all agreed not to say anything until the test is done.

Either way some real Jerry Springer sh1t right here.

 

[Leeson 54]

Not sure what you're looking for. So, I'll cover both bases and you can choose your own adventure:

-Good luck hope it all works out for you and the second half of your life is much better.

-Screw that focker. He should have manned up and been there for you.

[KayJay1971 238]

I met my biological father when I was 17. I always knew the man that raised me wasn't my father and used to joke that I had been left on the doorstep as a baby. I looked nothing like my sister or brother that I was raised with. Man that raised me cheated on my mom over and over and they divorced when I was 15/16 ish. My mom pulled me aside at age 17 and dropped the bomb. I had already suspected and agreed to meet him. He turned out to be an azzhole as well. Found out from my mom that when she got pregnant with me, real dads mom offered to pay for an abortion. If my mom refused he would (and did) have nothing to do with me. I only saw him maybe 5 times before I told him to kick rocks. He was going to lend me $1000.00 to get a car. Showed up with the money and a contract for me to pay him back. This just shortly after witnessing him giving my step brother (this kid looked just like me up to and including the wavy blonde mullet) a hundred dollars for his "allowance". He was well off and I was the exact opposite. I haven't spoken to him in over 20 years and I don't feel bad about it. I would like to know my medical history but that is about it. My mom remarried and that is the guy that I call "dad". He has been there for me more times than either of those other two bozo's. 

[Gladiators 1,904]

I started reading it...About halfway through,I realized this was a test that I’m not in the mood to take, so I’ll just say congrats and good luck.

[kilroy69 1,002]

25 minutes ago, Cdub100 said:

Growing up I never knew my biological father. My mother never liked to talk about and when she did gave mixed stories about who he was. So I don't know what to believe. Add to the fact I grew up super poor and with little to no family. Those I did have, died early in my life. Fast forward to now and my mother and I do not talk. She has only seen my oldest who is 10, maybe four times. My middle child once, and my third child never. The bottom line is there is no relationship there. With that being said I have no family history.

A few years ago I did a 23&me test. That's where I learned I'm Irish/British and some Indian. I've been on the site for years and the only family hits I got was 3rd and 4th cousins. That was until yesterday when I had a 1st cousin hit. She was also trying to find her father. We figured out it was either my uncles as her dad or her uncles are my dad.

She has 2 uncles. We can rule out her dad because we are tested as first cousins. That leaves the other two. One is dead and the one lives in Florida with his wife. His wife was never able to conceive a child so he doesn't have any children, that he knows of

I was talking to my group chat friends and telling them what was going on. One of my friends found a picture of her uncles and there is a strong resemblance between us. She called her cousin to tell her she might have a brother she didn't know about (me). 

I had a conference call with both of them yesterday and the lady who might be my half-sister is going to take the 23&me test. If she comes back as a 1st cousin then there's a good chance there's a dude in Florida who doesn't know he's a father or he does and walked out on my mother when she told him. We all agreed not to say anything until the test is done.

Either way some real Jerry Springer sh1t right here.

 

Good luck and I know you feel like its springer but really its not that crazy. Now if the dude turns out to be like bill gates rich that would be nuts. Just keep a calm head. It would be super interesting to find out his side of the story.  I have a 21 year old daughter that has no idea I exist. Her mom tracked me down to tell me when she was 11 and asked me not to interfere. She did not ask for anything. Just for me to let her live the life she has.  At that time I was not financial stable. My jobs at the literal fry o later were not paying well and she had a good life. Wtf was I going to do walking into a little girls life and being like.....oh btw....that dude.....not your dad...surprise..I am. If she ever does a 23 and me she is gonna be in for a shock.   I have actually had conversations with her in person and I once walked around the corner at the store and she was standing there in line.  So before you go thinking you have springer crazy...relax and realize that 1. women are focking nuts and will do all kinds of crazy and B. his story might not match moms even remotely.  What if she snatched you? Stranger things have happened. 

[DonS 3,074]

It's a shame you weren't drafted in the NFL.  That's an awesome ESPN backstory right there.

Good luck. 

[fandandy 3,311]

Good luck.  I hope the situation doesn't disappoint.  

Dumb question but why would a half-sibling test come back as a first cousin?

[Utilit99 4,099]

In my best Darth Vader voice: I am your father.

[Cdub100 3,391]

1 minute ago, fandandy said:

Good luck.  I hope the situation doesn't disappoint.  

Dumb question but why would a half-sibling test come back as a first cousin?

The potential half-sibling is getting the test done now. I was connected to the first cousin who called the potential half-sibling.

[Cdub100 3,391]

I found the dude on FB. He was just some regular joe shop guy. Probably recently retired and spends his winters in Florida which is common for the boomers around here.

Literally don't want a thing from the dude, but it would be nice to know. In fact I'm nervous he would want to be more intrusive. I like my introvert family.

[fandandy 3,311]

Just now, Cdub100 said:

The potential half-sibling is getting the test done now. I was connected to the first cousin who called the potential half-sibling.

 I had a conference call with both of them yesterday and the lady who might be my half-sister is going to take the 23&me test. If she comes back as a 1st cousin then there's a good chance there's a dude in Florida who doesn't know he's a father or he does and walked out on my mother when she told him. We all agreed not to say anything until the test is done.

This is the part that confused me.

[Cdub100 3,391]

3 minutes ago, fandandy said:

 I had a conference call with both of them yesterday and the lady who might be my half-sister is going to take the 23&me test. If she comes back as a 1st cousin then there's a good chance there's a dude in Florida who doesn't know he's a father or he does and walked out on my mother when she told him. We all agreed not to say anything until the test is done.

This is the part that confused me.

Sorry I'm not the best story tell and I write like sh1t so I'll try and explain

There are three brothers Frank, Todd, Mike (Not their real names)

Frank(Dead) has a daughter Sara

Todd(Dead) has a daughter Kim

Mike (Florida) doesn't have children

I connected with Sara (1st cousin)

***Sara Called Kim and said she might have a half brother (me)***

Kim ordered the 23andme test yesterday. If the test comes back that she is my half-sister. In which case Todd is my father. If Kim comes back as a 1st cousin than Mike is probably my father.

[fandandy 3,311]

14 minutes ago, Cdub100 said:

Sorry I'm not the best story tell and I write like sh1t so I'll try and explain

There are three brothers Frank, Todd, Mike (Not their real names)

Frank(Dead) has a daughter Sara

Todd(Dead) has a daughter Kim

Mike (Florida) doesn't have children

I connected with Sara (1st cousin)

***Sara Called Kim and said she might have a half brother (me)***

Kim ordered the 23andme test yesterday. If the test comes back that she is my half-sister. In which case Todd is my father. If Kim comes back as a 1st cousin than Mike is probably my father.

Ah, gotcha.  Thanks for explaining and good luck.  My mom never knew her father, who he was or anything.  I and her always wondered who he was and what he looked like, was like.  I hope you can find out.

[Old School 360]

That’s pretty huge. Good luck to you.

I know I was adopted out of the hospital when I was born. Couple of contradicting stories through the years but no idea who my birth parents were and at this point I expect they are both deceased based on age. One story was my birth mother already had 1 kid, maybe 2- I was conceived when she was split up from her husband, an Oakland cop. So, I might have some half siblings out there. Not sure what it would be like to meet them. 

[Voltaire 4,567]

Well that's interesting Cdub, KayJay and Old School. Obviously, we didn't know this about you guys.

So then cdub you'd have a decision to make on how involved you want this whole thing to go. Hopefully it'd go better than KayJay if it is him.

[supermike80 1,290]

Wow Cdub.  That's quite a story.   Keep us posted.

[wiffleball 4,650]

TLDR

[Cdub100 3,391]

1 hour ago, wiffleball said:

TLDR

Bastard man finds dad.

[TBayXXXVII 2,130]

Good luck dude.  I was fortunate that my parents were happily married for 37 years before my mom passed away.  While my son's mother passed away when she was 17, her parents still are still very close with my son, so there's always pictures of their daughter/his mother around.  He'll never meet her, but he knows who she was.

[Herbivore 911]

Wow..good luck Cdub.  

[Frozenbeernuts 1,652]

Jfc cdubb are you my brother? I met my father once when I was 13. He left my mom when I was 2. He stuck around the Chicago area for a bit and then vanished. I have one memory of that piece of shlt when I was about 3 where he smacked a colidascope into my eye and thought it was funny. 

We were going to Florida for a vacation with my grandparents when I was 13. Out of nowhere my dad calls my mom to see what's going on, low and behold he lives in Florida about 3 hours away from where we are staying. I met that converted hill Billy piece of shlt. After that as soon as my mom mentioned child support he cut off communication. My mom is crazy, and she was actually talking about moving us down to Florida... 

Currently, I barely talk to my mom because she is crazy as hell and lives in a weird reality where God makes every decision for her. She has not met my youngest once and doesn't want to. 

I met that POS once and I don't ever want to again. I have a half sister at least, but I really could care less. It never angered me he left. He didn't want to be a part of my life? em. Oh and I never met my uncles or my grandparents on his side, and my mom was actually married to him.

Good luck cdubb. I hope you find what youre looking for

[MLCKAA 412]

This is interesting.  I have a half sister I’ve never met.  My rotten crap worthless excuse for a man or person father had a daughter 8 years after I was born.  I was able to locate her 15 years ago but I never contacted her.

Last week she emailed my mother through FB trying to track me down.  Now I have to decide if I wanna open myself up to having contact.  From my research I know she’s been jailed numerous times on drug charges.  People often change but I feel quite wary of telling her much about myself.  I have a lot to protect.

[Hardcore troubadour 12,718]

1 minute ago, MLCKAA said:

This is interesting.  I have a half sister I’ve never met.  My rotten crap worthless excuse for a man or person father had a daughter 8 years after I was born.  I was able to locate her 15 years ago but I never contacted her.

Last week she emailed my mother through FB trying to track me down.  Now I have to decide if I wanna open myself up to having contact.  From my research I know she’s been jailed numerous times on drug charges.  People often change but I feel quite wary of telling her much about myself.  I have a lot to protect.

I wouldn’t. If I did meet up with her it would be one on one away from your family. 

[edjr 5,587]

your biological father probably is by

[Gladiators 1,904]

Huh, never knew or would have guessed that you were black.

[Bier Meister 1,517]

Good luck either way Cdub

[MDC 5,903]

How’d you figure it out, son?

[NorthernVike 2,080]

Your biological father is bi?  

[Cdub100 3,391]

***UPDATE*** Reminder names have been changed to protect the innocent

Kim got her test results back which means Sara is the daughter of one of my uncles.

 

 

TLDR - Bastard man is still a bastard

[TommyGavin 790]

On 4/29/2020 at 10:57 AM, TBayXXXVII said:

While my son's mother passed away when she was 17, her parents still are still very close with my son, so there's always pictures of their daughter/his mother around.  He'll never meet her, but he knows who she was.

17 ? She die in child birth ? 

[TommyGavin 790]

That 23 and me is dangerous. Good portion of my family has done it and we found a 1st cousin we didn’t know about. That means one of my dead uncles had a bastard. We all wonder if he knew (especially his widow). 

[Cdub100 3,391]

Or.... Kim and I have fathers who are brothers and both fathered bastard children.

Kim said her mom told her this dude "frank" is her real dad. "Frank" has a brother "John" who could be my dad.

[Crestwood 2 128]

Most of you are from broken homes. Explains a lot!

[BunnysBastatrds 1,930]

On 4/28/2020 at 6:37 PM, Cdub100 said:

Growing up I never knew my biological father. My mother never liked to talk about and when she did gave mixed stories about who he was. So I don't know what to believe. Add to the fact I grew up super poor and with little to no family. Those I did have, died early in my life. Fast forward to now and my mother and I do not talk. She has only seen my oldest who is 10, maybe four times. My middle child once, and my third child never. The bottom line is there is no relationship there. With that being said I have no family history.

A few years ago I did a 23&me test. That's where I learned I'm Irish/British and some Indian. I've been on the site for years and the only family hits I got was 3rd and 4th cousins. That was until yesterday when I had a 1st cousin hit. She was also trying to find her father. We figured out it was either my uncles as her dad or her uncles are my dad.

She has 2 uncles. We can rule out her dad because we are tested as first cousins. That leaves the other two. One is dead and the one lives in Florida with his wife. His wife was never able to conceive a child so he doesn't have any children, that he knows of

I was talking to my group chat friends and telling them what was going on. One of my friends found a picture of her uncles and there is a strong resemblance between us. She called her cousin to tell her she might have a brother she didn't know about (me). 

I had a conference call with both of them yesterday and the lady who might be my half-sister is going to take the 23&me test. If she comes back as a 1st cousin then there's a good chance there's a dude in Florida who doesn't know he's a father or he does and walked out on my mother when she told him. We all agreed not to say anything until the test is done.

Either way some real Jerry Springer sh1t right here.

 

 

 I understand a little bit of what you're going through. I found my adopted birth mother a couple of months ago. Took 51 years to do so but I found through ancestry. My half sister bought her son an ancestry kit for Christmas and he came up as a first cousin. Sent a message to him and received an immediate response saying his mother is probably my half sister. Responding email confirmed dates, time,and place of birth. Found my mom.  From spitting in a test tube. Was amazed. 

GOT a call hour's later from my birth mother and I found her. Found out why and learned many answers about my birth mother and father. I'm still in a daze. 

 

 Can't believe it happened this way after all thesee years.. she gave me my birth fathers name and I found him on Google. Sent an email to him and we spoke and verify the facts. He told me he thought of me often and knew that one day we would find each other. Very touching conversation. 

 

 Both said they were sorry and did what they had to do as they were in hs. Hi told them both that I  hold no animosity and thanked them both for what they did for me.

 

GOT a text today from him telling me he was going to the er as  he has a blood clot in his heart. Seems like a good man. I hope I get to meet him one day.

 

 I wish you the best Tubby. Think positive brother. 

[BunnysBastatrds 1,930]

21 minutes ago, Crestwood 2 said:

Most of you are from broken homes. Explains a lot!

 

On 4/29/2020 at 3:23 AM, Voltaire said:

Well that's interesting Cdub, KayJay and Old School. Obviously, we didn't know this about you guys.

So then cdub you'd have a decision to make on how involved you want this whole thing to go. Hopefully it'd go better than KayJay if it is him.

This

[Cdub100 3,391]

1 hour ago, BunnysBastatrds said:

 

This

Probably very little. 

[Cdub100 3,391]

1 hour ago, BunnysBastatrds said:

 

 I understand a little bit of what you're going through. I found my adopted birth mother a couple of months ago. Took 51 years to do so but I found through ancestry. My half sister bought her son an ancestry kit for Christmas and he came up as a first cousin. Sent a message to him and received an immediate response saying his mother is probably my half sister. Responding email confirmed dates, time,and place of birth. Found my mom.  From spitting in a test tube. Was amazed. 

GOT a call hour's later from my birth mother and I found her. Found out why and learned many answers about my birth mother and father. I'm still in a daze. 

 

 Can't believe it happened this way after all thesee years.. she gave me my birth fathers name and I found him on Google. Sent an email to him and we spoke and verify the facts. He told me he thought of me often and knew that one day we would find each other. Very touching conversation. 

 

 Both said they were sorry and did what they had to do as they were in hs. Hi told them both that I  hold no animosity and thanked them both for what they did for me.

 

GOT a text today from him telling me he was going to the er as  he has a blood clot in his heart. Seems like a good man. I hope I get to meet him one day.

 

 I wish you the best Tubby. Think positive brother. 

Thanks for sharing.

[BunnysBastatrds 1,930]

 Sounds like you had it pretty tough. Sorry man. Youre a good guy on here for what thats worth.  You ever want to message just let me know.  I have a good ear.

 

 

[Cdub100 3,391]

21 minutes ago, BunnysBastatrds said:

 Sounds like you had it pretty tough. Sorry man. Youre a good guy on here for what thats worth.  You ever want to message just let me know.  I have a good ear.

 

 

It's all good hopefully we can get Sara some closure.

Unfortunately the two that could be her dad are dead. So I'm not sure how she will know for certain.

[BunnysBastatrds 1,930]

 Crazy how this dna process works. youll find out.