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BunnysBastatrds

Best Pick Up Lines

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What's you got? I'm single soon and need all the help I can get. Found and old but goody.

 

Me: You've got small t!ts. But the lighting is bad.

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I must be in a museum, because you truly are a work of art.

 

Also, congrats on being single :)

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Excuse me ma'am, does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

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Me: you have a donkey and I have a rooster..your donkey chews the feet off my rooster. What do we have?

 

Her: i dunno

 

Me: 2 feet of my c0ck in your azz.

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Ya wanna make 50 bucks the hard way?

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Wow! You are damn near perfect! You know there's only one thing I would change about you.

 

 

 

(Insecure, they can't help themselves but ask)

 

 

 

Your last name.

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Hey...did you know there are only 7 planets now?

 

Her: really??

 

You: yep after I smash Uranus

 

:lol:

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Hi, I'm independently wealthy.

 

(I think that was the line that Les Nessman used to pick up Jennifer on WKRP).

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What's you got? I'm single soon and need all the help I can get. Found and old but goody.

 

Me: You've got small t!ts. But the lighting is bad.

 

You: Hi, do you have any Irish (choose your own ethnicity) in you?

Him: No

You: Do you want some?

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Ni hao. Ever seen a white d!ck?

 

That may only work over here though.

Do they ever say "I'm looking at one right now"?

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Ni hao. Ever seen a white d!ck?

 

That may only work over here though.

He is in New Orleans so....

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Nice shoes...wanna fock?

Dam man literally was comin to post this. Thing works like a charm

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It's been a while since I've been in the game so I may be out of practice but I like this one...

 

That shirt looks great on you. It would look better crumpled up and bloody in an evidence bag.

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You look like you'd make a wonderful single mother.

You know what they say...

 

 

Once you go black you're a single mother.

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Grocery store line...

 

You know it's dangerous for you to be in the frozen food section.

 

Why is it?

 

Cause you could melt all this stuff.

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"I dated a girl that could touch her elbows behind her back"

(watch and smile as she tries to accomplish this and sticks the perkies out for a good show)

 

"Hate to see you leave, love to watch you go" (great recovery if she walks away after the elbow joke)

 

"Do you like boats? I have 7" (owning a boat implies affluence - owning 7 is a dream come true)

 

"Over 20k posts at the Geek Club" (no explanation needed)

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Grocery store line...

 

You know it's dangerous for you to be in the frozen food section.

 

Why is it?

 

Cause you could melt all this stuff.

Best line in My Blue Heaven.

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Lets not turn this rape into a murder.

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I'm looking for a good woman to change me.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Now where did I put that pack of Depends?

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No no, you're not fat, you have an hourglass figure.

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Not a general use one but the one that made me laugh afterward the most: interning for Republican state assembly member (not ~stick) and a Democratic leg. staffer introduced himself in the mail room. He mentioned how he'd like to cross party lines. Can't remember exactly how he worked the phrase in but it was good.

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Grocery store line...

 

You know it's dangerous for you to be in the frozen food section.

 

Why is it?

 

Cause you could melt all this stuff.

One of my favorite movies :doublethumbsup:

 

Steve Martin just killed it

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Roses are red

Grass is greener

I think of you when I play with my weiner

 

(internet thing I looked up)

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