Message from Gocolts' Son

[gocolts 300]

Hey, everyone. I've unfortunately got some bad news to bring you folks in regards to my dad.

I remember hearing my dad talk about these forums a lot back in the day. I don't know if this is the right place to post this or even if any of the guys he talked to back then are still around, but my father has tragically passed away.

 

He's been in a rough spot for the past few years, and on some level I suspect it goes even further back than that to a degree. On August 24th, I found him dead in his home with numerous used cans of compressed air and seemingly just as many empty cigarette boxes on the floor around him, with a can still in his hand.

I have no words to describe this other than how unexpected it was. Although when I look further back it explains much of his past behavior. He's gotten into over 5 wrecks over the past year, and he's been found to have been huffing since an earlier accident this year - and there's traces of substance abuse going back to 2018.

Since I graduated High School - and possibly before then even, I think he's lacked purpose. It's a common thing for people to retire, do a whole bunch of nothing, and passing away shortly after as a result. I know based on conversations I've had with dad over the years that he's felt purposeless for a while.

After his most recent wreck, we were left with no vehicles - no means of transport. I'd started taking it upon myself to find a way for us to get by without either of us being able to transport ourselves - and had a good plan sorted out. The biggest one was groceries, which we found we could order online from Walmart. I later found out that he'd been using his funds to buy at least 40 cans of compressed air over the few days prior to his death.

He'd also fallen for romance scams and lost over $10k over the past year to them - as he was desperately lonely and wanted someone - anyone, to give him a sliver of romantic companionship. And I think because of this, the other foolish purchases he's made, he felt a level of guilt for putting us so far in the hole financially. As of right now, there's over $5k of unpaid credit card debt and another couple thousand behind on the bills.

My last conversation with him was on Friday - and after getting into his phone, I found that he'd neither made nor received any calls since then. His phone was still at 21% battery when I turned it on, and it was fully shut off when I found it. That's what had me worried in the first place - I called down there and got no response, not even a ring - just went straight to voicemail.

It seems to me that all of this together was a suicide attempt - and sadly, a successful one. None of us had any idea that this was going on. Myself and his friends knew that something was going on - but we had no idea it was like this. He'd just turned 50, I figured I'd had a good number of years left with him.

But instead, I found him 24 hours after his death.

If you're someone out there struggling with addiction, depression, loneliness, or purposelessness - get help. Don't wait until it's too late, reach out, talk to a friend or two - don't worry about being a bother or a problem. Trust me - your friends and family would much rather have you around. If you're out there and you know someone who might be struggling, do everything you can to be with them and support them. Maintain consistent contact - daily if you can. If you've got friends and family out there you haven't spoken to in a while - give them a call.

Take care of your mental health. Depression and drug abuse is no joke - mental health problems can be just as deadly as physical disease.

 

Apologies if this is the wrong place to put this topic. Feel free to move it wherever is more appropriate. It seems most of his posts are in here, and I remember him specifically mentioning the Geek Club subforum - so I decided this is the best place to put it.

If anyone is worried about me, don't be. I've got family to help me through all this. By the time all is said and done, I'll be well taken care of. Thankfully despite dad's poor financial decisions, he never did anything too harsh that we can't recover from - the property he lived on will be sold off soon, as well as much of what's inside it. I've seen firsthand what happens when a large sum of money is misused and abused - and I won't let the same mistake happen twice. I'll be putting most of it into a safe investment account, and use dividends to help me cover my additional costs of living and whatnot.

Thanks for taking the time to read this, and if I could ask anything from the staff/admins here, it's that you not do anything like closing his account or anything. I'd like his contributions to the site to still stand and still be easily seen - and I'd like his account to still exist as it does today.

And thank all of you for having fun with my dad when he was around. I know he appreciated all of you.

[Bier Meister 1,519]

Terribly sorry to hear about this.  There was a lot I liked about him and thought it was a shame that he decided to step away from here.

 

take care

[OldMaid 1,838]

OMG… So sorry to hear this. Gary used to be a bright spot on this forum. We’ve all been wondering what happened since he stopped posting a few years back.

You will be in the Geek Clubs thoughts and prayers.

[titans&bucs&bearsohmy! 2,745]

Wow. I just thought of Gary the other day. Realized I hadn't seen him post on Facebook in a while.

I am so sorry for your loss. He was a good one.

I can't say I knew him well or anything, but we've talked a bit over the years. I know you were the pride of his life. I hope you don't in anyway blame yourself or anything. I know he wouldn't want that, and in the end, we all walk our own road.

I hope you are able to find peace.

RIP Gary. 

[KSB2424 3,085]

Damn.

[KSB2424 3,085]

1 minute ago, titans&bucs&bearsohmy! said:

Wow. I just thought of Gary the other day. Realized I hadn't seen him post on Facebook in a while.

I am so sorry for your loss. He was a good one.

I can't say I knew him well or anything, but we've talked a lot over the years. I know you were the pride of his life. I hope you don't in anyway blame yourself or anything. I know he wouldn't want that, and in the end, we all walk our own road.

I hope you are able to find peace.

RIP Gary. 

This.  

[Mike Honcho 4,055]

You found the right forum, I've been wondering for quite sometime why we hadn't seen him in years. Thank you for letting us know.  

I'm terribly sorry that he's passed. He was someone who you could disagree with, but there was always respect and knowing that afterwards you'd still have a beer with him.  He seemed like a genuinely good guy, who posted often about how highly he thought of you(I'm not bumping the old posts, but you can find them if you want). Really feel terrible for you, I'm glad you are doing okay.  You are most welcome to stay.

[Djgb13 2,338]

I’m SO sorry to hear this. I noticed he wasn’t posting as much on Facebook anymore or here. Was hoping everything was ok. Prayers for you and your family. I hate that you and your family have to go through that. Stay strong buddy and if you need to talk or anything we at the geek club are here 

 

RIP Gary

[titans&bucs&bearsohmy! 2,745]

2 minutes ago, Mike Honcho said:

You found the right forum, I've been wondering for quite sometime why we hadn't seen him in years. Thank you for letting us know.  

I'm terribly sorry that he's passed. He was someone who you could disagree with, but there was always respect and knowing that afterwards you'd still have a beer with him.  He seemed like a genuinely good guy, who posted often about how highly he thought of you(I'm not bumping the old posts, but you can find them if you want). Really feel terrible for you, I'm glad you are doing okay.  You are most welcome to stay.

Absolutely this. We are probably a bunch of weird old farts, I know, but we'd love to have you around. If you need to talk, we're here. Most of us have lost parents too. 

[TimmySmith 2,782]

I am so sorry to read this. He absolutely loved you. I know there was a lot of stuff surrounding your lives. Please ask us for any help you might need. There is plenty here to be had.

[MDC 5,920]

I’ve been wondering whatever happened to gocolts. Can’t say we were buds but we shared some movie interests and I sent him a few DVDs.

He was a really likeable guy who spoke very highly of you. Sorry for your loss. 

[5-Points 2,745]

Damn

Sorry to hear this. As others have said, he was very proud of you. I'd hoped he'd come back and start posting again and fill us in on where he'd been. Thanks for letting us know. Condolences. 

[Cloaca du jour 2,070]

Condolences...cant say more than has already been said.  Stay strong and know he was proud of you.

[MTSkiBum 1,598]

Best of luck making it through this tough time. He had 32,000 posts here over the years and i felt like i knew him.

 

If you have a gofundme setup please let me know, i can donate 100 dollars.

 

 

[Djgb13 2,338]

1 minute ago, MTSkiBum said:

Best of luck making it through this tough time. He had 32,000 posts here over the years and i felt like i knew him.

 

If you have a gofundme setup please let me know, i can donate 100 dollars.

 

 

This was what I was literally about to post here. If you guys had wanted to set up one for him or if he had one. Especially with how much funerals cost nowadays. People who lose family members like this absolutely crushes me and I hate it. 

[Fireballer 2,396]

35 minutes ago, gocolts said:

Hey, everyone. I've unfortunately got some bad news to bring you folks in regards to my dad.

I remember hearing my dad talk about these forums a lot back in the day. I don't know if this is the right place to post this or even if any of the guys he talked to back then are still around, but my father has tragically passed away.

 

He's been in a rough spot for the past few years, and on some level I suspect it goes even further back than that to a degree. On August 24th, I found him dead in his home with numerous used cans of compressed air and seemingly just as many empty cigarette boxes on the floor around him, with a can still in his hand.

I have no words to describe this other than how unexpected it was. Although when I look further back it explains much of his past behavior. He's gotten into over 5 wrecks over the past year, and he's been found to have been huffing since an earlier accident this year - and there's traces of substance abuse going back to 2018.

Since I graduated High School - and possibly before then even, I think he's lacked purpose. It's a common thing for people to retire, do a whole bunch of nothing, and passing away shortly after as a result. I know based on conversations I've had with dad over the years that he's felt purposeless for a while.

After his most recent wreck, we were left with no vehicles - no means of transport. I'd started taking it upon myself to find a way for us to get by without either of us being able to transport ourselves - and had a good plan sorted out. The biggest one was groceries, which we found we could order online from Walmart. I later found out that he'd been using his funds to buy at least 40 cans of compressed air over the few days prior to his death.

He'd also fallen for romance scams and lost over $10k over the past year to them - as he was desperately lonely and wanted someone - anyone, to give him a sliver of romantic companionship. And I think because of this, the other foolish purchases he's made, he felt a level of guilt for putting us so far in the hole financially. As of right now, there's over $5k of unpaid credit card debt and another couple thousand behind on the bills.

My last conversation with him was on Friday - and after getting into his phone, I found that he'd neither made nor received any calls since then. His phone was still at 21% battery when I turned it on, and it was fully shut off when I found it. That's what had me worried in the first place - I called down there and got no response, not even a ring - just went straight to voicemail.

It seems to me that all of this together was a suicide attempt - and sadly, a successful one. None of us had any idea that this was going on. Myself and his friends knew that something was going on - but we had no idea it was like this. He'd just turned 50, I figured I'd had a good number of years left with him.

But instead, I found him 24 hours after his death.

If you're someone out there struggling with addiction, depression, loneliness, or purposelessness - get help. Don't wait until it's too late, reach out, talk to a friend or two - don't worry about being a bother or a problem. Trust me - your friends and family would much rather have you around. If you're out there and you know someone who might be struggling, do everything you can to be with them and support them. Maintain consistent contact - daily if you can. If you've got friends and family out there you haven't spoken to in a while - give them a call.

Take care of your mental health. Depression and drug abuse is no joke - mental health problems can be just as deadly as physical disease.

 

Apologies if this is the wrong place to put this topic. Feel free to move it wherever is more appropriate. It seems most of his posts are in here, and I remember him specifically mentioning the Geek Club subforum - so I decided this is the best place to put it.

If anyone is worried about me, don't be. I've got family to help me through all this. By the time all is said and done, I'll be well taken care of. Thankfully despite dad's poor financial decisions, he never did anything too harsh that we can't recover from - the property he lived on will be sold off soon, as well as much of what's inside it. I've seen firsthand what happens when a large sum of money is misused and abused - and I won't let the same mistake happen twice. I'll be putting most of it into a safe investment account, and use dividends to help me cover my additional costs of living and whatnot.

Thanks for taking the time to read this, and if I could ask anything from the staff/admins here, it's that you not do anything like closing his account or anything. I'd like his contributions to the site to still stand and still be easily seen - and I'd like his account to still exist as it does today.

And thank all of you for having fun with my dad when he was around. I know he appreciated all of you.

Thanks for sharing.  I wondered for a while what happened to him.  So sorry for your loss.  As soon as I saw the title, I knew it was bad.  Reminded me of rholios death notification post.

[Mephisto 15]

Peace out, Silverback.  Rest easy.

[haloman30 16]

I appreciate all of your kinds words thus far. I'll keep checking in on here periodically and reading every reply - on my own account now.

I'm not sure if I'll be on here too terribly often as I'm generally pretty busy with personal projects, but hey - maybe once everything settles down over here that'll change.

As for a gofundme - I don't have nor plan to set anything like that up. The biggest issue is gonna be getting the short-term finances sorted as there isn't very much cash on hand, and most of the bills are at least a month behind. Once we get the short-term finances stable for a bit, and once the property over there is sold - I won't have any financial worries anymore.

[Djgb13 2,338]

1 minute ago, haloman30 said:

I appreciate all of your kinds words thus far. I'll keep checking in on here periodically and reading every reply - on my own account now.

I'm not sure if I'll be on here too terribly often as I'm generally pretty busy with personal projects, but hey - maybe once everything settles down over here that'll change.

As for a gofundme - I don't have nor plan to set anything like that up. The biggest issue is gonna be getting the short-term finances sorted as there isn't very much cash on hand, and most of the bills are at least a month behind. Once we get the short-term finances stable for a bit, and once the property over there is sold - I won't have any financial worries anymore.

Like I said brother, if there’s anything at all we can do let us know. We may talk Sh1t to each other and carry on like jackasses but majority of the people here are actually decent people. Your dad being one of them. Pray everything works out for you and your family 

[Reality 2,710]

Damn, sorry to hear it, I've talked to your dad several times thru PM's. I live in the McCutchanville area. If you need anything, PM me.

[IndyColtsFan 36]

I remember him well and am deeply sorry for your loss. Thank you for sharing with us. 

[haloman30 16]

Just now, Djgb13 said:

Like I said brother, if there’s anything at all we can do let us know. We may talk Sh1t to each other and carry on like jackasses but majority of the people here are actually decent people. Your dad being one of them. Pray everything works out for you and your family 

Yeah, I'm not too worried about the finances long-term. Once short-term stuff is taken care of, long-term will be easy.

The property he lived in - the same one that belonged to my grandparents/his parents - is a solid 3 acres of land in a nice neighborhood next to a country club. There's a pretty good chance we get 250-300k out of it, never mind the money made from selling the stuff inside.

It's gonna be pretty rough emotionally - especially selling stuff - as I've had some attachment issues and struggle letting things go. I even just buried my dog that I had for over a decade over there, thinking we'd always have that property. Whoops.

But at the end of the day - I can't manage two houses. Nor can I manage 3 acres of land. When grandpa passed, dad and I tried to keep both places, and that was probably the biggest mistake we made. We should've sold that land long ago.

The money made from selling stuff is gonna go towards renovating the place over here - as it's in dire need of work and maintenance. I'll be paying off the rest of the mortgage at long last, and I'll finally own the place and save a few hundred a month at least. The rest is going into a quite safe investment account - not an IRA, but a more standard investment account. I've got some friends that do a lot of stock trading and know what they're doing - and they'll help me get things set up in such a way that I'll have more than enough money coming in each month. And in 5-10 years I'll essentially be rich.

It's just sad that dad won't be here to see everything finally get straightened out.

[MTSkiBum 1,598]

11 minutes ago, haloman30 said:

I appreciate all of your kinds words thus far. I'll keep checking in on here periodically and reading every reply - on my own account now.

I'm not sure if I'll be on here too terribly often as I'm generally pretty busy with personal projects, but hey - maybe once everything settles down over here that'll change.

As for a gofundme - I don't have nor plan to set anything like that up. The biggest issue is gonna be getting the short-term finances sorted as there isn't very much cash on hand, and most of the bills are at least a month behind. Once we get the short-term finances stable for a bit, and once the property over there is sold - I won't have any financial worries anymore.

Do you have a paypal address?

[porkbutt 864]

lot going here…so this is legit? very sorry for your loss. RIP gocolts. 

[vuduchile 1,941]

I had a bad feeling about this topic before I even clicked on it.  
 

I seem to remember his last visits here being pretty upbeat and excited for the future. 
 

I’m saddened that things took a left turn and ended the way they did. 
 

Best of luck to you and your family. 

[shorepatrol 1,740]

RIP 

 

[haloman30 16]

2 minutes ago, MTSkiBum said:

Do you have a paypal address?

I do, it's haloman30@chaoticunited.com if you wish. It's a business account that I use for my own community's stuff, so it'll likely say 'Chaotic United' as the name - but I'm not about to post my personal email address publicly as you can probably understand.

[MTSkiBum 1,598]

3 minutes ago, haloman30 said:

I do, it's haloman30@chaoticunited.com if you wish.

 

Thanks for the address, best of luck in sorting everything out.

[haloman30 16]

Just now, MTSkiBum said:

 

Thanks for the address, best of luck in sorting everything out.

Jeez dude you didn't have to do that.

This will help more than you realize. I only have around 150 in my bank, and dad only left a total of just under 10 bucks in both of his.

This is going to help things a lot. Thank you.

[Cdub100 3,408]

7 minutes ago, porkbutt said:

lot going here…so this is legit? very sorry for your loss. RIP gocolts. 

Maybe... honestly you can never tell. The last time he posted was in these threads

Crazy secrets you find our after your parent are dead. - 2019

Its the little things in life that make you feel stupid - 2018

Update on my life, if anyone cares anymore. I know some do. - 2018

[titans&bucs&bearsohmy! 2,745]

7 minutes ago, Cdub100 said:

Maybe... honestly you can never tell. The last time he posted was in these threads

Crazy secrets you find our after your parent are dead. - 2019

Its the little things in life that make you feel stupid - 2018

Update on my life, if anyone cares anymore. I know some do. - 2018

A numerous family members on his Facebook have posted about it. Seems pretty legit to me. 

[RaiderHaters Revenge 3,614]

Wow I’m so Sorry to hear this

[titans&bucs&bearsohmy! 2,745]

So not to be all, “look at me!”, but...

Years ago, I was in a dark place. Frankly, I was considering ending it myself.

Gary was one of numerous folks here who reached out. We actually spoke on the phone a time or two.

He was a damn fine man. Wish I had known what was going on and done the same for him. 

[Kopy 493]

RIP

 

[Mike Honcho 4,055]

36 minutes ago, haloman30 said:

Yeah, I'm not too worried about the finances long-term. Once short-term stuff is taken care of, long-term will be easy.

The property he lived in - the same one that belonged to my grandparents/his parents - is a solid 3 acres of land in a nice neighborhood next to a country club. There's a pretty good chance we get 250-300k out of it, never mind the money made from selling the stuff inside.

It's gonna be pretty rough emotionally - especially selling stuff - as I've had some attachment issues and struggle letting things go. I even just buried my dog that I had for over a decade over there, thinking we'd always have that property. Whoops.

But at the end of the day - I can't manage two houses. Nor can I manage 3 acres of land. When grandpa passed, dad and I tried to keep both places, and that was probably the biggest mistake we made. We should've sold that land long ago.

The money made from selling stuff is gonna go towards renovating the place over here - as it's in dire need of work and maintenance. I'll be paying off the rest of the mortgage at long last, and I'll finally own the place and save a few hundred a month at least. The rest is going into a quite safe investment account - not an IRA, but a more standard investment account. I've got some friends that do a lot of stock trading and know what they're doing - and they'll help me get things set up in such a way that I'll have more than enough money coming in each month. And in 5-10 years I'll essentially be rich.

It's just sad that dad won't be here to see everything finally get straightened out.

My Dad passed sort of like yours,  I was only 6, but his self-inflected demons got the best of him.   Anything he owned, got, saved...they were taken, given away or thrown away by other people.  When I turned 16, his mother, my Grandmother gave me a gold chain necklace that was his, he was had it when he died.  It's the only thing that was his that I have,  it connects me to my father...my 2 cents, find something that was personal to him, and keep that for yourself. To everyone else, it's just a necklace, but to me it's a part of what made me, me.

[Djgb13 2,338]

8 minutes ago, titans&bucs&bearsohmy! said:

So not to be all, “look at me!”, but...

Years ago, I was in a dark place. Frankly, I was considering ending it myself.

Gary was one of numerous folks here who reached out. We actually spoke on the phone a time or two.

He was a damn fine man. Wish I had known what was going on and done the same for him. 

I’m glad you’re out of that dark place. I never want anyone to feel like they have nothing left to live for. I’ve seen it happen too many times in the military and have had to be the medic on site when telling their family. If you ever feel like ever again man reach out at least through PM. 

[Gladiators 1,906]

1 minute ago, Mike Honcho said:

My Dad passed sort of like yours,  I was only 6, his self-inflected demons got the best of him.   Anything he owned, got, saved...they were taken, given away or thrown away by other people.  When I turned 16, his mother, my Grandmother gave me a gold chain necklace that was his, he was had it when he died.  It's the only thing that was his that I have,  it connects me to my father...my 2 cents, find something that was personal to him, and keep that for yourself. To everyone else, it's just a necklace, but to me it's a part of what made me, me.

Damn. I might have to identify as a woman if there are anymore posts like this tonight. 

[Mike Honcho 4,055]

Just now, Gladiators said:

Damn. I might have to identify as a woman if there are anymore posts like this tonight. 

[Gladiators 1,906]

Sorry for your loss. Devastating.

One word of advice on the financial side of things. You seem to have a good head on your shoulders, but the $ amounts your talking about from the sale of the property and personal affects can go quickly. I hope you have a good/stable job and don’t need to use the money. Let it sit and grow if you can.

[wiffleball 4,655]

Speechless. 

Gawd dammit.