Dooshery at a cookout yesterday

[vuduchile 1,941]

My friends invited this guy and his wife to their Memorial Day cookout.  They were renting the place next door for the weekend.  He showed up in red plaid shorts, a tucked-in red polo, red tennis shoes and a matching red belt.  He might as well have showed up wearing a sign that said "I'm a doosh" 

I was milling around when I overheard him talking about how he can't stand the slow pace of our little town and how he's used to the fast pace of big city life.  Most of us wouldn't last a week in Chicago.  Our town only has one focking stop light. He only comes out here because his wife drags him.  On and on.  At one point, he looked at his beer and asked the host, "Jeez, don't you have anything stronger?  I'm definitely gonna need something more than this."

As I mingled, every conversation involved other guests telling me what an ass this guy was.  When I came out of the bathroom a little later, his wife was talking to mine.  My wife motioned me over, then introduced me to Janet.  She was nice enough. We talked about Chicago neighborhoods, how they've changed, etc.  Then, out of no where, dooshy walked up and stood next to her.  Now I'm forced to deal with him.  His wife said. "This is my husband Doug."  He reached out to shake my hand and said, "Doug.  Doug MacDougal".

I instantly said, "Really?"  He looked at me sideways and said, "What do you mean, REALLY?" So I said, "Why is Doug pronounced dug, but MacDougal is pronounced MacDoogal?  Shouldn't your name be Dug MacDugal or maybe Doog MacDoogal?" 

His wife, and others snickered a little and he turned as red as his outfit.. Then he stood up tall and said, MacDougal is a Scottish name, and spouted off some rubbish about his heritage, coat of arms, etc.  I pretended to listen to him and when he finished, I said.  "Yeah, that's great, but it still doesn't answer my question.  So he said,  "Yeah, well what's YOUR name then?  I told him.  He had nothing, so I said.  "Let me guess.  Those shorts are the official MacDougl tartan plaid. The same cloth  worn by your ancestors when they fought and defeated some Vikings or Anglos, ?  Right?

He was ready to throw a punch, so his wife grabbed his arm and led him away and back to their rental.  

I can doosh it out with anyone.  

 

 

[fandandy 3,311]

Hilarious.  Well done.

[5-Points 2,729]

Well played, sir.

[bostonlager 2,463]

Big question here is, could you have whipped him? If a dude's ready to throw down because he can't take a joke I'm not walking away. 

[vuduchile 1,941]

Just now, bostonlager said:

Big question here is, could you have whipped him? If a dude's ready to throw down because he can't take a joke I'm not walking away. 

Who knows?  I'm 55 and haven't been in a fight since I was 20.  He was a snotty little ginger kunt, but looked to be in decent shape and was probably in his 30's.  He probably had enough stamina to outlast me unless I was able to take him out within the first 45 seconds.  

Either way, my fighting days are over.  Way over.  

[Djgb13 2,338]

Definitely sounded like doosh. Hate people who complain all the time like that 

[bostonlager 2,463]

1 minute ago, vuduchile said:

Who knows?  I'm 55 and haven't been in a fight since I was 20.  He was a snotty little ginger kunt, but looked to be in decent shape and was probably in his 30's.  He probably had enough stamina to outlast me unless I was able to take him out within the first 45 seconds.  

Either way, my fighting days are over.  Way over.  

Ugh, I hate gingers. Beer bottle to the face would have learned him. 

[Meglamaniac 380]

9 minutes ago, vuduchile said:

My friends invited this guy and his wife to their Memorial Day cookout.  They were renting the place next door for the weekend.  He showed up in red plaid shorts, a tucked-in red polo, red tennis shoes and a matching red belt.  He might as well have showed up wearing a sign that said "I'm a doosh" 

I was milling around when I overheard him talking about how he can't stand the slow pace of our little town and how he's used to the fast pace of big city life.  Most of us wouldn't last a week in Chicago.  Our town only has one focking stop light. He only comes out here because his wife drags him.  On and on.  At one point, he looked at his beer and asked the host, "Jeez, don't you have anything stronger?  I'm definitely gonna need something more than this."

As I mingled, every conversation involved other guests telling me what an ass this guy was.  When I came out of the bathroom a little later, his wife was talking to mine.  My wife motioned me over, then introduced me to Janet.  She was nice enough. We talked about Chicago neighborhoods, how they've changed, etc.  Then, out of no where, dooshy walked up and stood next to her.  Now I'm forced to deal with him.  His wife said. "This is my husband Doug."  He reached out to shake my hand and said, "Doug.  Doug MacDougal".

I instantly said, "Really?"  He looked at me sideways and said, "What do you mean, REALLY?" So I said, "Why is Doug pronounced dug, but MacDougal is pronounced MacDoogal?  Shouldn't your name be Dug MacDugal or maybe Doog MacDoogal?" 

His wife, and others snickered a little and he turned as red as his outfit.. Then he stood up tall and said, MacDougal is a Scottish name, and spouted off some rubbish about his heritage, coat of arms, etc.  I pretended to listen to him and when he finished, I said.  "Yeah, that's great, but it still doesn't answer my question.  So he said,  "Yeah, well what's YOUR name then?  I told him.  He had nothing, so I said.  "Let me guess.  Those shorts are the official MacDougl tartan plaid. The same cloth  worn by your ancestors when they fought and defeated some Vikings or Anglos, ?  Right?

He was ready to throw a punch, so his wife grabbed his arm and led him away and back to their rental.  

I can doosh it out with anyone.  

 

 

https://media.tenor.com/images/ae7393c026c8ee7f46cb9c20c0b92037/tenor.gif

 

[Cruzer 1,992]

This dude isn't just a tool at parties, he's a tool everywhere he goes - people can't stand him anywhere.

[bandrus1 413]

legitimately sounds like the worst human just ahead of politics guy at a party

[TimmySmith 2,782]

Sounded like a swell party.  

[Filthy Fernadez 2,696]

18 minutes ago, vuduchile said:

He reached out to shake my hand and said, "Doug.  Doug MacDougal".

I instantly said, "Really?"  He looked at me sideways and said, "What do you mean, REALLY?" So I said, "Why is Doug pronounced dug, but MacDougal is pronounced MacDoogal?  Shouldn't your name be Dug MacDugal or maybe Doog MacDoogal?" 

 

[Bier Meister 1,514]

[edjr 5,564]

who gives a fock. have you logged into your team for DNDL yet, doosh?

[supermike80 1,285]

38 minutes ago, vuduchile said:

My friends invited this guy and his wife to their Memorial Day cookout.  They were renting the place next door for the weekend.  He showed up in red plaid shorts, a tucked-in red polo, red tennis shoes and a matching red belt.  He might as well have showed up wearing a sign that said "I'm a doosh" 

I was milling around when I overheard him talking about how he can't stand the slow pace of our little town and how he's used to the fast pace of big city life.  Most of us wouldn't last a week in Chicago.  Our town only has one focking stop light. He only comes out here because his wife drags him.  On and on.  At one point, he looked at his beer and asked the host, "Jeez, don't you have anything stronger?  I'm definitely gonna need something more than this."

As I mingled, every conversation involved other guests telling me what an ass this guy was. 

 

 

No BS...I've always imagined this is exactly what HT would be like at a party.  Seriously.  

[vuduchile 1,941]

3 minutes ago, edjr said:

who gives a fock. have you logged into your team for DNDL yet, doosh?

what is that?

[Mr. Hand 482]

Outstanding...well played!

[BiPolarBear 476]

I knew a guy that worked with someone like McDugel, the Red. Just a tool with everybody, everyday. My friend said a lady was moving away and had to quit her job there. Everybody bought food for a potluck, and bought her some going away gifts.

The jerk finally found another job. He gave my friend a piece of paper with a list of what he considered appropriate gifts, to bestowed on him at his going away party. 

(no, there wasn't a party) 

[kutulu 1,545]

In my experience most Doug's are dooshbags.

[Bert 1,091]

2 hours ago, vuduchile said:

My friends invited this guy and his wife to their Memorial Day cookout.  They were renting the place next door for the weekend.  He showed up in red plaid shorts, a tucked-in red polo, red tennis shoes and a matching red belt.  He might as well have showed up wearing a sign that said "I'm a doosh" 

I was milling around when I overheard him talking about how he can't stand the slow pace of our little town and how he's used to the fast pace of big city life.  Most of us wouldn't last a week in Chicago.  Our town only has one focking stop light. He only comes out here because his wife drags him.  On and on.  At one point, he looked at his beer and asked the host, "Jeez, don't you have anything stronger?  I'm definitely gonna need something more than this."

As I mingled, every conversation involved other guests telling me what an ass this guy was.  When I came out of the bathroom a little later, his wife was talking to mine.  My wife motioned me over, then introduced me to Janet.  She was nice enough. We talked about Chicago neighborhoods, how they've changed, etc.  Then, out of no where, dooshy walked up and stood next to her.  Now I'm forced to deal with him.  His wife said. "This is my husband Doug."  He reached out to shake my hand and said, "Doug.  Doug MacDougal".

I instantly said, "Really?"  He looked at me sideways and said, "What do you mean, REALLY?" So I said, "Why is Doug pronounced dug, but MacDougal is pronounced MacDoogal?  Shouldn't your name be Dug MacDugal or maybe Doog MacDoogal?" 

His wife, and others snickered a little and he turned as red as his outfit.. Then he stood up tall and said, MacDougal is a Scottish name, and spouted off some rubbish about his heritage, coat of arms, etc.  I pretended to listen to him and when he finished, I said.  "Yeah, that's great, but it still doesn't answer my question.  So he said,  "Yeah, well what's YOUR name then?  I told him.  He had nothing, so I said.  "Let me guess.  Those shorts are the official MacDougl tartan plaid. The same cloth  worn by your ancestors when they fought and defeated some Vikings or Anglos, ?  Right?

He was ready to throw a punch, so his wife grabbed his arm and led him away and back to their rental.  

I can doosh it out with anyone.  

 

 

You should ended it by telling Bobby Flay to go make you a sandwich.  

[EternalShinyAndChrome 2,517]

Man, I wish you would have fought him and whooped his ass. 

[Bier Meister 1,514]

did he look like this?

[vuduchile 1,941]

2 minutes ago, Bier Meister said:

did he look like this?

Sorta.  But younger and no beard. 

[Bier Meister 1,514]

You also could have raised a pint for England.

[taco breath 419]

was it dingbat?

[Cdub100 3,380]

6 hours ago, vuduchile said:

My friends invited this guy and his wife to their Memorial Day cookout.  They were renting the place next door for the weekend.  He showed up in red plaid shorts, a tucked-in red polo, red tennis shoes and a matching red belt.  He might as well have showed up wearing a sign that said "I'm a doosh" 

I was milling around when I overheard him talking about how he can't stand the slow pace of our little town and how he's used to the fast pace of big city life.  Most of us wouldn't last a week in Chicago.  Our town only has one focking stop light. He only comes out here because his wife drags him.  On and on.  At one point, he looked at his beer and asked the host, "Jeez, don't you have anything stronger?  I'm definitely gonna need something more than this."

As I mingled, every conversation involved other guests telling me what an ass this guy was.  When I came out of the bathroom a little later, his wife was talking to mine.  My wife motioned me over, then introduced me to Janet.  She was nice enough. We talked about Chicago neighborhoods, how they've changed, etc.  Then, out of no where, dooshy walked up and stood next to her.  Now I'm forced to deal with him.  His wife said. "This is my husband Doug."  He reached out to shake my hand and said, "Doug.  Doug MacDougal".

I instantly said, "Really?"  He looked at me sideways and said, "What do you mean, REALLY?" So I said, "Why is Doug pronounced dug, but MacDougal is pronounced MacDoogal?  Shouldn't your name be Dug MacDugal or maybe Doog MacDoogal?" 

His wife, and others snickered a little and he turned as red as his outfit.. Then he stood up tall and said, MacDougal is a Scottish name, and spouted off some rubbish about his heritage, coat of arms, etc.  I pretended to listen to him and when he finished, I said.  "Yeah, that's great, but it still doesn't answer my question.  So he said,  "Yeah, well what's YOUR name then?  I told him.  He had nothing, so I said.  "Let me guess.  Those shorts are the official MacDougl tartan plaid. The same cloth  worn by your ancestors when they fought and defeated some Vikings or Anglos, ?  Right?

He was ready to throw a punch, so his wife grabbed his arm and led him away and back to their rental.  

I can doosh it out with anyone.  

 

 

...and then everybody clapped.

[DonS 3,067]

I'm waiting for the follow up where all you neighborhood guys got hammered and then went and made him watch as you took turns with his wife.  Show him what "small town hospitality" is all about! 

[titans&bucs&bearsohmy! 2,745]

4 hours ago, kutulu said:

In my experience most Doug's are dooshbags.

That's my name.

[kutulu 1,545]

2 minutes ago, titans&bucs&bearsohmy! said:

That's my name.

Like I was saying 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

most, not you.... Yer bucking the trend 

[Gladiators 1,904]

19 minutes ago, titans&bucs&bearsohmy! said:

That's my name.

People can change. Good luck. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[vuduchile 1,941]

50 minutes ago, titans&bucs&bearsohmy! said:

That's my name.

Do you pronounce it dug or doog?

[titans&bucs&bearsohmy! 2,745]

17 minutes ago, vuduchile said:

Do you pronounce it dug or doog?

Dug. Duglas is the full name, but only hear that from mother And wife if I piss them off. 

[Strike 3,975]

16 minutes ago, titans&bucs&bearsohmy! said:

Dug. Duglas is the full name, but only hear that from mother And wife if I piss them off. 

What does it sound like when your wife says "Dugrass"?

[titans&bucs&bearsohmy! 2,745]

9 minutes ago, Strike said:

What does it sound like when your wife says "Dugrass"?

She's not Chinese. More of a Hispanic accent. She says it more lol Duglass. Heavy stress on the ass. She messed up the last name too. 

[shorepatrol 1,737]

8 hours ago, bostonlager said:

Ugh, I hate gingers. Beer bottle to the face would have learned him. 

Don't hate all gingers, we aren't all bad 

[shorepatrol 1,737]

13 minutes ago, Strike said:

What does it sound like when your wife says "Dugrass"?

[DonS 3,067]

58 minutes ago, Strike said:

What does it sound like when your wife says "Dugrass"?

She can't say his name from all the GC cack already in her mouf. 

[cmh6476 752]

remember the days when you would have "Dooshy Doug" or "Doogie MacDoogal" or simply "Doug MacDougal" alias arrive at the board with some mild hilarity to follow

[Mungwater 588]

This thread reminded me, has anyone seen bunny lately?

[Cruzer 1,992]

On ‎5‎/‎28‎/‎2019 at 12:04 PM, bandrus1 said:

legitimately sounds like the worst human just ahead of politics guy at a party

The worst by rank:

1. Political guy

2. One-upper guy

3. Can't handle his liquor/wants to fight guy

4. Allergic to everything/only organic/vegan guy

5. Didn't bring anything/moocher guy